There's Been Some Confusion
by forrealrightnow
Summary: Summer vacation is supposed to be easy, right? Apparently if your name is Santana Lopez, it isn't. Things just seem to get a little more difficult. Part Three to Unadulterated Loathing & Strange Exhilaration. Still a mix of canon & AU. Femslash.
1. Here's What You've Missed

**This is the third part in a Pezberry series for anyone who just wandered on over here due to my magnificent summary. The first two parts are Unadulterated Loathing and Strange Exhilaration. While this piece might be able to stand on it's own, it is going to reference back to the previous two stories. Also, as with the other two stories, this one is going to twist some things around. I'm also going to take some of my own license yet again. And with Season 3 starting soon... this blatantly ignores that as well.**

**I have a quick warning: I've given this an M rating for a reason so don't be surprised with what you find here.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own the characters that originally appear in the television series Glee.**

**And now that I've bored you to death here it is: Part 3!**

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><p>So, here's what you've missed in Santana's life:<p>

Not much.

Nothing has really happened on the Mom front, so I'm still living at the Berry Residence. Speaking of which, that is still going great and since summer vacation is quickly approaching, Rachel and I will be able to sleep in the same room EVERY SINGLE NIGHT for TWO WHOLE MONTHS!

Nothing has really happened on the Quinn front.

Okay well that last one is a lie because Nationals happened. I don't even want to talk about Nationals... actually, yes I do want to talk about Nationals.

First thing is first: Finn Fuckhead Hudson is actually the most heinous human being to ever walk the planet! Oh and that's actually his name, well it will be, when I find a way to legally change it to that. It will happen. He's stupid enough to sign anything.

I'll try to keep this short:

So, remember when I said it would be interesting if Schue had us write our own songs, well because Rachel and I are clearly freaks that reside on the same wavelength of thought, she was thinking the exact same thing. The next week, she suggested to everyone that we bring original songs to Nationals. Everyone was kind of wary about it, well everyone but me... and Finn... and Quinn. Then everyone was on board! Like, what is that shit? If Rachel suggests something on her own no one seems to care, but then if Finn and Quinn put in their two cents, it's suddenly the best idea ever! Fuckers.

Anyways, we spent two weeks trying to write songs for Nationals, but by the time we left, we had a bunch of stupid songs that would never get us anywhere. We were lucky they rhymed.

Then when we got to New York, Mr. Schue locked us in our rooms and told us we couldn't leave until we had written two Glee Club Champion songs. How absurd! How he could deny thirteen kids who have never been to New York City the chance to see the most awesome city on the East Coast, is beyond me. I think we started developing Cabin Fever. I mean, Brittany wrote a song called My Cup for Christ's sake! Although when I re-read the lyrics I was instantly convinced that the whole thing was a giant innuendo for sex with Artie... and me. Which is awkward considering I haven't slept with Britt in months.

After that absurd performance, Quinn in all of her heartbroken glory suggested that we sneak out and let NYC write our songs for us.

I will just say this now, I love New York! I seriously cannot wait to move there. Even better: it'll be with the girl that I'm in love with.

Eventually we came up with ideas for our group number, but that still left us with the need for a duet or a solo piece. Finn was completely adamant about writing a song with Rachel. He even took her out on this elaborate romp around the city. I only let it happen because I was going to stalk them the whole time. And that's just what Britt and I did, so when things got all romantic and Finn tried to put the moves on her, Rachel walked away from him and found me when she turned the dark Greenwich Village corner. While she was a little mad that I'd been following her around as if I didn't trust her, she was glad that she didn't have to try to find her way to the hotel by herself. And hey, it's not like I don't trust Rachel, of course I do, I'm just extremely possessive and don't trust Finn as far as I can throw him. Since he's gigantic, that really isn't very far.

Well, anyways, they wound up writing a song... the day of the competition. Whatever, that's Schue's fault. As per usual.

Wait, why did I even start talking about this?

Oh yeah! Quinn!

She had this fucked up mental break-down!

She was going to snitch on Rach and Kurt for sneaking out the morning of the competition so that we'd get disqualified.

Bull shit!

Just because she's all pissed that Finn broke up with her _again_ and has all these suppressed lesbian feelings does not mean that she needed to bring everyone else down with her. Hells no! Britts and I stopped that real quick. I had to dig down deep and forget about all of my suspicions to rescue the crazed maniac that was suddenly Quinn Fabray.

All I wanted to do was cheer her up with a new hair cut and what did she do? Assume that Brittany and I wanted to fuck her happy!

I'm sorry, what?

If I wasn't convinced that she was a lesbo before, I sure am now! Talk about a Freudian slip! That hadn't even crossed my mind until she said it! "Really not that into that" my ass!

Anyways, at that point I was pretty sure I'd just saved Nationals for us... that is until Finn fucked everything up!

Ugh! Oh my god! He is such a fuck! He fucking kissed Rachel at the end of their song! We didn't even know until we were all backstage and we heard Rachel smack him right across the face. Then she started whisper screaming at him. It went something like this:

"What is wrong with you, Finn?"

"What, Rach? I thought you wanted to kiss me! I knew you weren't gay!"

"Yes, I am! God! You don't listen to anyone, do you? As long as you're happy no one else matters do they? I'm pretty sure you just lost us Nationals!"

"Then why did you let me kiss you?"

"Because running away from you would have looked even worse! God, you're an idiot!"

Then she stormed off through the backstage door and into the lobby. The rest of us were just standing there with our mouths agape. It took me like thirty seconds to even think about chasing after Rachel. I didn't even think about kicking Finn's ass like I should have, I just wanted to make sure Rachel was okay. Getting national recognition is like, her dream and Finn went and fucked it up like he fucks everything up.

Man I hate him!

Then we found out we came in 12th place.

Oh.

My.

God.

If he hadn't... AAAAAHHHHH!

I totally lost it in the hotel! The español was flying! I threatened to go all Lima Heights Adjacent on his big, stupid, caveman ass. I'm pretty sure that if whoever was holding me back, wasn't, Finn would have come back with one fucked up face. Instead I settled for a voodoo doll that I knew would never work but it still scared the shit out of him.

Now that we're back, everyone pretty much hates him. Even his own step brother is sailing on the SS I Hate Finn. Puck refused to invite him to the last day of school bash that he's throwing tonight. All through the day the Glee kids were talking about it, until they saw Finn, then they would text about it. It's literally the first time we've all been able to keep a secret from him or anyone for that matter. We all know how Babygate worked out... and the whole Finn and me sleeping together thing. Neither one of those blow-ups were my fault They shouldn't have lied! Whatever, water rolling under the bridge now.

So, we're up to date, right? Today's the last day of school and there's a party tonight. Of course I'm going and of course Rachel is going. And of course there will be sexy times had before it starts at 9.

OH! The shoe box that houses the strap-on in my closet, has kind of become a suggestion box as well. Every time one of us thinks of something new that we want to try out, we add it to the box. Not going to lie, most of the slips of paper are Rachel's. She's become quite the deviant in the last month. I don't even think it's my fault. That's the best part! I'm convinced she was like this before we got together, she was just all suppressed and whatnot.

God, I can't wait to wake up to her beautiful face every morning this summer. Speaking of her beautiful face... and body, finally she's walking out of the damn school! I've been waiting for her at my car for like fifteen minutes. What the fuck is she carrying? I should probably help her...

"Hey babe, what's all this stuff?"

"All of the contents of my locker. I had to steal this bag from the Cheerios locker room. Good thing Coach Sylvester calmed down a little bit because I never would have procured this thing," she says as she drops the bag off of her shoulder and into my hands.

Ow. What on Earth was she keeping in her locker all year? "Rach, what's in here? Lead?"

"A few days worth of clothing, my gym stuff, and a few trophies," she says as she starts walking towards my car as if the last part wasn't strange at all.

"Ummm... a few trophies? Babe, where did you put your books?" I say as I heave the bag into the trunk of my car.

"On the extra shelves that are also in that bag," once again it's said as if everyone has extra shelves in their locker.

I cannot stop the laughter from coming out of my stomach, through my chest and out of my mouth. She is just way to cute. "You are seriously the most adorable human on Earth. Really, babe? Extra shelves?"

"Uh... yeah!"

"I love you," I say as I lean in to kiss her... right in the middle of the school parking lot mind you!

"I love you, too, sweetheart."

"Can we go home now? You're skirt has been killing me since this morning," I say and then somehow find my lower lip in between my teeth.

"I knew it would," she says with a wink and then turns around just fast enough so that her little school girl skirt twirls. I could just barely see the bottom of her amazing ass. If I didn't have any self control... let's just say I'd need a car wash.

"What should I wear to Noah's party tonight?" Rachel asks after I plop into the driver's seat.

"Whatever you want, Rach. Just nothing _too_ sexy. We don't want Lucy Q getting any ideas," I say rounding out with a little chuckle.

"That wasn't very nice Santana. You know she's sensitive about that," Rachel said in her reprimanding tone that I usually love... not so much right now.

"That's why I said it to you and not her, duh."

She sighs and rolls her eyes big enough to compete with me, "Why do you still think that she has a crush on me? She hasn't done anything since that Glee assignment a month ago."

"Except go absolutely bat shit in New York in front of Britt and me!"

"What? Why didn't you tell me about that?" Rachel says with that slightly hurt and surprised face that makes me feel like crap.

Luckily, I actually have a good reason for not remembering to tell her: Finn. "I was busy being pissed at Finn, as were you. I kind of forgot about it."

"Okay, well tell me now. What happened in New York?"

Hmmm... should I tell her _every_ detail? Yeah, why not? It's not like I'm the one with her head in the gutter in this story. "So you know how Quinn got her hair cut before the competition?"

"Yeah. We all know. It's really cute."

I give her a little scowl, but continue, "Well, it's my fault that she got it. That was how Britt and I cheered her up. But, when I started to suggest it, she thought that I was offering up sex! She was all like, 'I'm flattered Santana, but I'm really not that into that.'"

Rachel is cracking up by the way. Like hugging her legs, leaning on the car window, keeled over laughing.

As under my breath as possible I for some unknown reason say, "Pssht, she wishes she could tap this. As if I'd try to have sex with her again."

"AS IF YOU'D WHAT?"

Oh shit. I'm actually wincing right now. Good thing I already parked the car. Wait, what did I just say? Did I make sound like I _have_ slept with Quinn before? Fuck. Shit!

FUCK!

"You've had sex with Quinn?"

"NO! Never! Just... almost..." here's that wincing face again, "it was almost two years ago. Besides she made me promise not tell anyone..." maybe that will save my ass.

Or not.

I'm just going to sit here for a few minutes while she stomps into the house and makes her scene.

Okay, grabbing her absurdly heavy, stolen Cheerios bag and entering La Casa de Berry. Bag dropped in the family room and "Babe! Will you come here please? I really don't understand why you're so upset! I didn't lie about anything! Please, Rach! I'm sorry that I didn't tell you, but there really wasn't anything to tell..."

Am I hearing footsteps?

"AAAAH!"

My 5'2", 110 pound girlfriend just tackled me over and onto the couch.

"Did you believe me?" Rachel asks with a gigantic smile as she straddles my hips and sits down on my thighs.

"That you were irrationally pissed at me? Yes. It wasn't cool," I say rolling my eyes and crossing my arms.

"Aw, beautiful, I'm sorry. I was just practicing my acting skills," she says and leans down to kiss my cheek.

"Well, I'd really appreciate it if you didn't practice on me," I huff, but my resolve is fading. I don't know, something about Rachel's lips on my neck just melt me into a nice little whipped puddle.

Hmmm... whipped... I wonder if someone makes vegan whipped cream... next Whole Foods trip.

"Okay, San, I won't. I promise," she says and places her soft lips lightly onto mine. It gives me those butterflies I love so much. And there goes _all_ of my resolve. I'm smiling by the time she picks herself back up. "There's that beautiful smile I love so much."

I've uncrossed my arms and my hands have found her thighs. I am quickly reminded of what the skirt she's wearing has been doing to me all day, "Come here."

"Yes," she says as she inches her face closer to mine.

I inch my hands further up her thighs and lean in to bring our lips together again. I pull away for just a second to say, "And there are those lips I love to kiss so much." And back to kissing. Our lips are intertwined and her hand is making its way up my abs. My hands have found their place under the fabric of her underwear that covers her ass. Just one little squeeze sends a moan out of her mouth and into my lips. I grind my hips up into her and she directs her kisses back to my neck. Into my ear she whispers, "Let's go upstairs. I have an idea."

"I love your ideas!"

She slides off of me and then extends her hands out to pull me off of the couch. I waste no time getting up and as soon as I am, Rachel re-grabs my hand and starts dragging me through the kitchen and up the back stairs. When we get upstairs, I automatically assume we're going to her room so I start walking towards her door, but wind up being tugged in the opposite direction towards my room.

I am now completely aware of what her plan involves.

We get into my room and immediately close and lock the door, it's become a habit by now. Rachel wastes no time with my clothes and my shirt and jeans are off in like seconds. She removes her own shirt as fast as she can and then turns for the closet. I see a couple of index cards flutter to the floor and say, "I think we need a bigger shoe box."

She giggles a little as she turns around with our strap-on in her hands. She quirks up her eye brows as I shimmy out of my thong knowing full well that the harness is going on me. Slowly, she saunters over to me and when she gets to where I'm standing, she kneels down so that I can step into it. As she tightens the straps around my thighs I reach behind my back and unhook my bra, throwing it aside.

"Hey, I was going to do that!" Rachel says when she stands back up.

"You can take yours off," I offer with a little smirk.

She gives me an adorable scowl and reaches her hands back. In seconds her bra is with mine and she's already starting on her skirt. But I'm struck with something pleasantly kinky, "Wait!"

"What?" she says stopping with her skirt half unbuttoned.

"Leave it on," I say and then let my teeth graze along my bottom lip.

"Okay," she says with her eye brows popped up and sexy grin. Then she tucks her hands under the skirt and slides her underwear off, steps out of one leg opening and kicks it away to join our bras and my thong. "You really like this skirt," she says as she steps closer to me and grabs the purple appendage between us, tugging me into her.

I laugh a little and say, "Good thing this isn't real."

"That's why it's purple. I don't think I could handle one that actually looked real," she says as she leads me to the bed.

I laugh again and say, "You are _so_ gay!"

She pushes me down onto the bed and reaches her hand in between my legs. I feel her fingers swipe up from my entrance to my clit and right after I gasp she says through her most devious smirk, "So are you. Now get on the bed more and lie down."

"Whatever you want, baby," I say as I complete her request.

"You." And here she comes, crawling up the bed towards me. She is so sexy. I can't even think properly right now. Yup, that's her leg swinging over me and that's her hand grabbing the purple dick protruding from my pelvis. I watch her other hand disappear under her skirt and reappear with a coating of her own wetness on her fingers. My brain is complete and utter mush watching this all unfold on top of me. She takes the fingers with her on them and slides them up the dildo. Then she lifts herself up and lowers herself onto it.

We're way past my fear of this hurting her.

Oh my god this is so hot! Her skirt is sprawled out over both of our hips, so really all I'm seeing is her moving up and down on top of me and hearing her moaning away.

I think it's time for me to participate.

I reach my hands forward and slide them up her thighs. They find their way under the skirt and grab her hips. I squeeze a little as I start doing the work she's been doing with my own hips.

"Mmmm, Santana," Rachel moans softly as she leans back a little. Then I see her reach her hand back and feel it between my legs.

"Uh huh," I breathe out as I feel her fingers circle my clit.

"Faster."

Okay. I pick up the pace of my hips and bring my thumb to her clit.

"Oh my god! San! Fuck!"

The combination of what's happening on top of me and what Rachel's talented fingers are doing to my clit, is causing an orgasm to build really quickly. "Ay dios mio, querida. Soy tan cerca!"

"Me too. Don't stop!"

'Don't stop' generally translates to 'go a little faster' to me, so I do, which causes Rachel's breathing to get just a tad heavier. Thank god because I am going to bust apart any second and I can't promise that I'll still be able to function.

"San... I'm... gonna..."

"FUCK!"

I hear that familiar little squeak as my own shockwaves distribute themselves throughout my body. My hips thrust up one last time, mostly out of reflex. It was a lot harder than I would have ever done on my accord and it sends Rachel forward.

"Ow."

Oh no. What happened? "Babe?"

She inches forward a little then rolls off of me onto her back. "I think I'm going to have a bruise... or two," she says as she rubs the inside of her thighs.

I roll over onto my side and run my fingers down her cheek, "Oh babe, I'm sorry. I didn't do it on purpose."

"San?"

"Yeah, Rach?" I ask and then kiss her shoulder.

She looks down and says, "You're poking me."

"I'm poking y-" I look down, "oh." I stifle my laugh as I roll onto my back and start taking the strap-on off. "Are you gonna be okay?"

"Oh yeah. I mean, I might be walking a little funny tonight at Noah's party, but I'm fine," Rachel says trying her hand at some sarcasm.

I get up off of the bed to complete the task of removing the harness and place it on my dresser so the at the dildo is standing straight up. We really do need to find a new box for that thing.

"How much longer until we have to be at Noah's place of residence?" Rachel asks from the bed.

"Well, it's only four o'clock so, five hours, but I figured we'd show up fashionably late," I say after I look at the alarm clock on my end table and as I crawl back into bed.

"So we can nap?"

"Ummm... yes! But after I eat something. I've got the sexy times munchies. Bad."

"I have something you can eat," Rachel smirks at me.

I actually gasp at that, "Who are you? And what have you done with Rachel Berry?"

"Perhaps your lack of shame is rubbing off on me?"

I give her a little scowl and then say, "Well, gorgeous, as appetizing as that sounds, I need real food... maybe later though, after our nap."

"Okay," she says in cute fake disappointment. She sits up and winces a little bit. She must be able to see my face because she says, "I'm fine." After a few seconds, she gets off the bed and heads for my dresser. I hear her chuckle at the dildo standing on top of it and then watch her bend over to open the bottom drawer.

Yup, I'm checking out her amazing ass... and something else. "Damn," I whisper a little louder than I want. She peaks behind her and catches me staring. Clicking her tongue, she turns back to the open drawer and stands back up with a pair of my basketball shorts and my t-shirt from Nationals.

"Hey, thanks, Rach-"

"Nope. These are for me. Get your own clothes," she says as she pulls the shorts on under her skirt, then slips into the t-shirt and out of her skirt.

"Those _are_ my clothes," that she looks absolutely adorable in because they're a little too big for her.

"I know. They smell like you," she says though a smile, then opens the door and walks out into the hall.

As I get up out of the bed I hear a door close and I assume it's the bathroom. I go to the dresser and pull out a pair of boxers that I bought on clearance one day simply because they're like perfect to sleep in and a t-shirt that I got at Cheer Nationals last year.

Hmm... you know... I actually kind of miss being on the Cheerios. For one thing it was a lot easier to get ready in the morning. I'll think about it.

Oh yeah... I'm starving. Kitchen time. As I walk by the bathroom I hear the toilet flush and get an idea. I back myself up against the wall and wait for Rachel to open the door. Just as I hear it open I jump off it and yell, "Boo!"

"AAAAH!"

Perfect!

Ow.

Clearly Rachel didn't think it was as funny as I did. She just smacked my arm. Hard.

"Great! Now _I'm_ gonna have a bruise!"

"You should have thought about that before you scared the living daylights out of me!" Rachel pouted.

"Do we have Reese's Puff cereal?" I ask changing the subject.

"We better," she says and stomps off towards the back stairs.

Man, I love her!


	2. Completely Overstepping

Ladies and well, probably more ladies: Welcome to the Shit Show of 2011!

I thought that the Rachel Berry Train Wreck Extravaganza was bad, but this, this might be one of the biggest messes I have ever laid my eyes upon.

First of all I'm completely sober... well except for the shot of tequila I had an hour ago. Okay so I'm a smidge tipsy, but it's really only because we promised Schue we wouldn't get sloppy until after Nationals, so my tolerance is a little low right now. Rachel however, has never had a tolerance and two cups of Puck's Moose Juice has left her all kinds of messy. It's a graceful messy this time, though. She kind of felt obligated to drink it since Puck made it special for her. Usually he uses rainbow sherbet, but this time around he bought... well, actually he probably stole... a bunch of different sorbets and added them to the champagne, vodka, orange and pineapple juice concoction. Oh yeah, I forgot; I had one of the frozen strawberries that had been soaking in her second cup, too. Anyways, she loves the stuff, of course, and now I'm trying really hard to keep her away from the Moose Juice bucket.

Everyone else is in a similar state to the last time we all got slizzard together. Yeah, I just said slizzard... deal with it. I might be driving some people home tonight. Although, I think Mike is pretty sober, too, so I won't be the only one. As long as I get Rachel's ass into her house by 1AM, all's well.

I'm going to take a minute to re-cap my night up until this point:

After our little afternoon delight, Rachel and I ate some cereal and then napped like boring little lesbians. Leroy woke us up at 5:30 and told us that he had ordered take-out since the Chef had been sleeping instead of making dinner.

They ordered Breadstix! They really do love me! There were two entire take-out boxes filled with bread sticks. A month and half in that house and they know me a little too well. Although, Leroy's a big fan of the bread sticks, too. We actually got in a little argument over the last one. Rachel snatched it up, broke it in half, gave one piece to Hiram and ate the other half herself. The she said, "Neither one of you can have it."

"I hope you like cleaning up after other people, baby girl, because you just earned yourself clean-up duty. Nobody comes between me and my Breadstix!" Leroy said to Rachel through a sassy deep tone.

"What? That's not fair! San, was trying to take it from you, too!" Rachel pleaded.

"But she was unsuccessful," Leroy returned, crossing his arms.

I started laughing when he charged her with clean-up duty. After shooting me a really pissed off glare, Rachel started cleaning up. She took my box of spaghetti right out from under me, "Hey, I was still eating that!"

"No you weren't, you were too busy laughing at me," she huffed and then turned into the kitchen. I heard the box fall into the trash compacter after another two seconds.

In an effort to get out the dog house, I started helping her. She smiled when she saw me clearing away some of the mess.

"So, what are you girls up to tonight?" Hiram asked through a yawn.

"Noah Puckerman is having a little get together for the Glee kids at his house tonight," Rachel answered tactfully.

"Sounds like fun. What time will you be heading out?"

"Well, he can't be ready for everyone until 8:30 so we can't really show up at his place until about 9..." I kind of stretched the truth a little with that one.

"What time will you be home?" Leroy pressed.

I gulped, "What time do you want us home?" I thought that was the best way to approach that one.

"Well if I had things my way you two would be in bed by nine-"

"I think one is okay," Hiram said with a little glare towards Leroy, "but just this once. Every other night this summer the curfew is eleven Sunday through Thursday and midnight Friday and Saturday, got it?"

I nodded furiously in agreement. They don't have to tell me that twice.

How is it that _all_ of the Berry's have me whipped?

I think it's because Leroy is terrifying and Hiram has him whipped, which makes him even more frightening.

Oh my god! Rachel and I are totally the mini version of her Dads! Except that we're little baby lesbos of course. I'm not sure I want to point out my latest discovery to her, she might not like it as much as I do.

Anyways, we weren't even ready to leave the house until 9, so my plan to be fashionably late, actually worked out. Rachel tried on a million different things. It took a lot of coaxing but I finally convinced her to wear jeans and a red Lacoste polo that she's been hiding in her closet. I even found one of my pre-surgery push-up bras. Turns out, we used to be the same size.

"I don't know how I feel about this," she said as she looked herself up and down in her mirror.

"Rach, you look great. If we didn't have to leave, I'd tear all of those clothes back off of you and do some really dirty things to you," I smirked at her from the end of her bed.

"It's the bra isn't it! It's too much! My boobs are like popping out of this thing!"

I got up and walked over to her. From behind her, I reached my hands to her front and re-did some of the lower buttons on the shirt, "Better?"

"Mhm," she sighed, "besides, those are yours." She turned around and reached her arms up to rest on my shoulders. I knew better than to say anything and instead, leaned in to give her kiss. "Mmm... I love you."

"I love you, too, babe. Now can we go? We're working on obnoxiously late instead of the fashionably that I was going for."

"Okay."

When we left, Leroy reminded me of our curfew and made sure to let me know that he wouldn't even mind if we walked in earlier.

We stepped into Puck's basement at about 9:20. It was fairly quiet at the time but within a half an hour, people started getting a little sloppy. I had my shot of tequila with Brittany and Puck when I walked in the door and Rachel was done with her first cup of Moose Juice within fifteen minutes. My guess is that there's enough vodka in one cup of that stuff to fill five shot glasses. Plus the champagne and the sugar... wow, we're idiots. That shit just sneaks up on you. Two cups in and you have no idea what hit you.

"Spin the bottle!"

Of course Puckerman would throw that out there. And of course all of the Glee kids are secretly horny little freaks that want to make-out with everyone even though they're all paired off... well, almost all of them. Quinn, Sam and Mercedes are the only ones that aren't. Well, at least I think that's the case... Guppy Face and Wheezy have been oddly close to each other this whole time. Hmmm... whatever.

Oh, speaking of Quinn, she's been particularly quiet this evening. A little too quiet. Unfortunately, I don't know if she's kept her leering to herself. I've been slightly pre-occupied with my inebriated girlfriend.

"Come on, San, let's play!" Rachel leans into me and asks.

"You really want to, babe?" I ask mostly because I'm not sure I want us to play. I do have a tendency to get jealous.

"Yeah, issnot like iss real," she slurs, "besides, whenever we land on each other it'll be like super awesome!"

I cave, "Okay, but no getting jealous."

"Pssshht! Speak for yoursself, Lopez," Rachel says as she gets up and starts making her way to the circle that's been forming.

The last time we did this, I didn't play and neither did a bunch of other people, but this time, it seems like everyone wants in on the fun. I start to sit down next to Rachel but she stops me, "You can't sit there."

"Why not?" I scoff.

"Because it's supposed to be boy, girl, boy, girl!" Tina pipes in from across the circle.

Here comes a snarky response, "Well, with the range of sexual orientations in this group, I don't think that matters. Besides there are seven girls and six boys here, your seating arrangement is impossible." I laugh a little as I watch all the drunkies count out the boy/girl ratio. No one protests when I take my place next to Rach.

"I'll go first!" Puck calls out. He spins the bottle and it lands on Mercedes. "Oh yeah!"

"Hey!" Zizes yells as she smacks Pucks bicep.

"Chill, baby, it's just a game! I'm all yours tonight, remember."

Zizes gives him some weird face and I turn to Rachel and fake gag. She giggles and then whispers, "Cut it out. Iss cute."

We missed the Puckcedes smooch but we turned back to the game just in time to see Mercedes' spin land on Sam. They both smack these goofy grins on their faces and we all witness them full on make-out for way longer than two people who have never made out before would ever. When they were done, Brittany catches my attention from behind Artie's wheelchair and mouths, "What was that?"

I just return with this look of "I have no idea."

And the bottle is spinning again. Sam's spin lands on Kurt. Kurt turns to Blaine and whispers, "Sorry" as Sam tentatively crawls over towards him. I'm pretty sure that if Sam was a little less drunk, he would have protested. But alas, we are witnessing the first same-sex kiss of the night. Well, everyone but Blaine. His eyes are closed.

A peck later and the bottle is spinning again. Kurt's spin lands on Brittany. "Oh thank God a girl I've already kissed before!"

"What?" Blaine asks with surprise.

"I'll tell you later," he says as he starts making his way across the circle towards Brittany. When he gets there, he puts both of her hands on her cheeks and plants a big wet kiss on her lips. When he pulls away, they both start cracking up probably remembering that time Kurt pretended to be straight last year.

Brittany's turn. She spins the bottle really hard and it spins approximately forever. I can see out of the corner of my eye, Artie's fingers crossed, clearly hoping that he gets to make out with his super hot girlfriend in front of everybody.

Nope.

The opening of the empty champagne bottle is pointing directly at me. I see Britts clap her hands excitedly at the outcome of her spin and I feel Rachel's hand on my shoulder. "It's okay, San," she whispers into my ear.

Good thing because Brittany is hurdling over towards me. She looks over at Rachel and says, "Sorry, Rach," just before she tackles me. I'm not even sure what's happening right now. Well, except that Britt's tongue is in my mouth and she tastes like alcohol and watermelon Lip Smackers. I'm not even sure how long this has been going on. Why is no one stopping this? Why am I not stopping this? Ummm... why aren't Rachel or Artie stopping this?

"Mmmm... sweet lady kisses!" Brittany says when she's finally done assaulting my mouth. Don't get me wrong I love me some Britt Britt kisses, but that was a little ridiculous.

"Sweet lady kisses indeed," I hear Artie say as Brittany crawls back to her spot on his other side.

I finally sit up and have to be reminded that it's my turn to spin the bottle. I am hoping so hard that this lands on Rachel. The Brittany Experience made me miss her lips really bad. When I sit back to watch the bottle choose my fate, I feel Rachel put her chin on my shoulder. She kisses my neck and whispers, "I want you so bad right now."

I turn to look at her and see that her eyes are black. I'm surprised she can see her pupils are so blown. Please, please, please land on Rachel!

YES!

As soon as the bottle stops, Rachel is on me. I think she's forgotten that there are eleven other people in this room. She bites my lower lip and then slides her tongue across it. Hells yes her tongue have some fun with mine. She tastes like Moose Juice but I don't even care. I'm sure _I_ taste like Brittany's Lip Smackers. Out of nowhere, I feel her hand grab my boob and now I'm positive she's forgotten that we're in public. I don't think that we can have sex in the middle of Puckerman's basement in front of the rest of the Glee club. Much to Rachel's (and all of the straight boys' and probably Brittany's') dismay, I have to stop her from taking this to a level we would both surely regret.

I whisper, "Later, baby," just before she leans into the circle to take her turn. When she returns, she gives me a little smirk and I can see that her eyes are finally going back to their normal beautiful brown... somehow.

I watch the bottle spin with baited breath, remembering that now I'm going to have to watch her make-out with someone that isn't me. The bottle starts slowing down and just when I think it's going to land on Mike and relief starts washing over my body, the bottle keeps going and lands on someone else's bent knee. It lands on the knee of the one person I didn't want it to land on.

"No way!" I yell, unable to control the nerves flying through my body.

"Rules are rules, bro!" Puck butts in, "Rachel and Quinn have to make-out!" Pssht, as if he'd stop the third girl-on-girl kiss in a row.

"Sweetheart, iss okay," Rachel slurs into my shoulder, "Nothing'sgonna happen."

"It better not," I mumble as I glare across the circle at Quinn.

I keep my eyes on her as Rachel makes her way over. I only look away for a second to check out Rachel's ass in her jeans. My eyes find their way back to Quinn, though, who's looking right at Rachel. My heart is pounding harder than I think it ever has in my entire life. I think it's even harder than when I was walking into the Conference Room of Doom at the hospital. I mean, I can feel this in my ears.

I watch as Rachel leans forward, jutting her lips out towards Quinn's. I see Quinn close her eyes preparing for the contact. I wish I could pull my eyes away, but I can't. Instead I'm torturing myself, watching the one person I didn't want kissing my girlfriend, kiss my girlfriend.

"Come on. Use some tongue!"

Oh fuck you, Puckerman!

Oh my god, I can't even tear my eyes away to give him a death glare.

"Mmmm."

Oh hell no! Quinn did not just moan into my girlfriend's mouth!

"Uh uh! Nope. The end!" I yell as I stand up. I storm around the circle and when I get to Quinn, I grab her arm and drag her up.

"What the fuck, Santana?" Quinn yelled back at me.

"You and me. Outside. Now!" I yell and start pulling her up the stairs.

"San! Wait! Come on! Calm down!" I hear Rachel yell from behind us.

"Yeah, S. Chill out!" Brittany calls out from not so far behind as well.

I don't stop and keep pulling on Quinn until we're in Puck's backyard. I toss her arm down and after I get my breathing under a little bit of control I huff out, "Okay Q, I think I've let this go on long enough. Whatever feelings you have for my girlfriend stop here and now, got it?"

"What are you even talking about? You're absolutely delusional, Lopez! As if I'd _ever_ have feelings for Manhands!" Quinn basically chuckled out.

"Don't you dare call her that! Or any of those fucked up names we came up with for her! And don't play stupid with me Fabray! I see the way you look at her when you think no one else is looking! Cut the shit!"

"You're actually insane!" she laughs.

"Nope, Britt's seen you, too! Haven't you B?" I say not even having to turn towards Brittany knowing full well that she and Rachel followed us outside.

I watch Quinn's grin slowly fade away. It's completely gone after Brittany nervously says, "Yeah, I have."

"Well... I..." Quinn stutters out.

"Well... you... what?"

"Quinn you don't haff to say anything you don't wanna," Rachel pipes in, "San, leave her alone."

"No way! We're settling this here and now!" I say pointing my finger towards the ground and turning back towards Rachel and Brittany. I see Rachel's face and I start to feel really bad about what I'm doing to Quinn. Thanks to Puckerman's very well lit deck, I can see that she has tears in her eyes. And Brittany is nervously biting her finger nails. I know I'm currently disappointing two of the people I hate disappointing the most. I have to get to the bottom of this though.

"I don't have feelings for Rachel!" Quinn blurts out while I'm still looking back towards the deck. I turn back to her and arch my eye brow up in suspicion. "I'm serious, okay!" Oh no. Are those tears I'm hearing in her voice? "It's just that... I'm..."

"You're what?" Rachel says from right beside me. I didn't even hear her walking up to me.

"I'm jealous of you! Both of you."

I didn't see that coming. "Umm... jealous of what?" I ask slowly.

"Of you know... you two! You guys are all in love and open about it, throwing it in everyone else's faces!" suddenly Quinn's tears were turning angry.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa! What are you talking about?" I ask taking a small step towards Quinn.

"Isn't it nice to get to be who you want to be and not have any problems?"

Oh no she didn't! I'm taking a bigger step forward this time, "Excuse me? Not have any problems? I had to move out of my house because my mother disowned me! You aren't the only one with issues Q!"

"Come on S, let's just go," Brittany says grabbing my wrist.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it to come out that way." Quinn says backing up a little away from me.

"Well then what _did_ you mean?" I ask with a little bit of poison on my tongue. I step forward again and throw down Brittany's hand in the process.

"I meant that I wish I could be... you know... like you," Quinn says looking at the ground and then looks up to point between Rachel and me. It's dark and I can't really see, but I'm sure she's blushing. She might even be holding back her tears. I know she didn't actually say it, but I think I might have just forced her to come out.

I see a tiny body rush past me and slam into Quinn. Rachel's hugging Quinn so hard I think she's going to pop her. Oh and now she crying.

"Are you happy now?" Brittany asks from my side.

"No," I sigh. I've sort of grown a conscience in the last two months and now it's kicking my ass. "Q, I'm sorry."

"No you aren't," Quinn shoots back at me as Rachel releases her anaconda grip on her.

"Yes, I am. How often does the phrase 'I'm sorry' come out of my mouth?"

"All the time."

"Pretty often."

Thanks best friend and girlfriend.

"Okay, so maybe I apologize to them, but when was the last time I apologized to you?"

"Never," Quinn says quietly.

"Right. I only say it if I actually feel bad and thanks to that girl that just squeezed the life out of you, I've learned how to feel guilty-"

"It's a Jewish thing," Rachel shrugs.

Quinn laughs a little and wipes away the tears that had fallen onto her cheeks.

Completely overstepping my boundaries and forgetting that my filter actually works, I ask, "So are you like, completely lez?"

"Nah! She's totally bi-curious like me," Brittany says confidently.

"No, B, I think you mean bisexual," Quinn corrects her, "Whoa, I've never said it out loud before."

"Wait, what's the difference? They aren't the same?" Brittany asks, genuinely clueless.

"Ummm, well," Rachel tries, "would you ever date a girl, Brittany? If you weren't dating Artie of course."

"Uh, yeah! Girls are hot, but so are boys," Brittany answers as if that was totally obvious.

"Right. See? You're bisexual. You _know_ that you're attracted to both boys and girls," Rachel says, excited about her breakthrough.

"Ooooohhhh! I totally get it now. Quinn's totes bisexual like me," Brittany says through a huge smile.

"Yeah, B," Quinn sighs, "I am... and that's the second time I've said it out loud. You know, it's getting easier."

"Wanna try it again?" Rachel asks.

"Nope. Maybe in like a week or so."

"Want a ride home?" I offer. By now I am 100% sober. At least I definitely feel like it.

"I can drive. I've had water in my Solo cup all night," Quinn says running her fingers through her short hair.

"Hey, San, what time is it? My phone is dead," Rachel asks as she fiddles with her phone.

I pull out my own cell phone and slide it up. Shit! "12:30! Babe, if we have to bring people home, we need to go like now!"

"Oh no! Daddy's gonna be soooo mad if we're late!" Rachel practically sings out.

"I can take some people. And Mike wasn't drinking either," Quinn adds.

"Artie and I are staying here tonight. It's easier since no one can really take him with his wheel chair," Brittany shrugs.

"Walking back in is going to be awkward isn't it?" Quinn asks as we walk up the stairs to the deck.

"Maybe. Everyone might be super shit faced when get in there," I hope.

Quinn gives me a doubtful look and pulls the door open. We walk in and head towards the strangely quiet basement.

"Or everyone will be asleeping," Rachel whispers as we get to the bottom of the stairs. She yawns and says, "You know, thass a good idea."

"No, no, no, babe. We're gonna sleep at home, okay?" I whisper and wrap my arm around her waist.

"Hey guys. Everything okay?" Mike whispers when he gets to us with Tina draped in his arms.

"Yeah. We're cool," Quinn whispers and puts her head on my shoulder.

Hmm... maybe we could be actual friends.

I'll think about it.

"Artie's in the guest room in the corner. I helped him out of his chair and he's probably already passed out," Mike says to Brittany, who promptly hugs everyone, whispers something to Quinn and skips off to the spare room. I have no idea what Brittany said, but Quinn is a hysterical shade of pink.

"Have a good summer, guys," Mike says and carries Tina up the stairs.

"Ready to go, babe?" I get no response. I look down and see that Rachel is sleeping standing up, leaning against me. "This'll be fun."

"I'll help you get her to the car," Quinn offered.

"No, just help me get her on my back. I've done this before," I say as I start maneuvering her towards my back.

Quinn holds her up as I lower myself down and grab onto her arms. I start lifting up and as I do, Rachel wakes up a little and mumbles, "Ooo, piggyback ride," and musters up enough energy to wrap her legs around my waist.

"Okay, to the cars!" I whisper and let Quinn lead up the stairs. "Hey Quinn, what time is it?"

"Ummm... 12:40," she says as she looks down at her watch and holds the door open for me.

"Shit! Will you help me get Rachel into the car?" I practically beg Quinn.

"Yeah," Quinn breathes out in a sort of laugh.

"What time... do you.. have to be home?" I ask I try to bump Rachel up a little higher on my back.

"Technically, forty minutes ago, but my mother isn't home."

"Are we going home, San?" Rachel rasps out just as I get to the passenger door.

"Yeah, babe. Do you think you can get in the car by yourself?"

"Don't talk to me like that?" she huffs.

"Like what?"

"Like I'm drunk."

"Well, if the shoe fits..."

"Put me down!" she huffs again and lets her legs down from my hips. I bend my knees a little and let go of her arms, "Oh, hi Quinn!"

"Hi Rachel."

As I open the door I hear Rachel gasp and then even more filterless than usual she says, "You came out to us!"

My hand actually smacks my forehead. Keeping it there I say, "Rach, you should probably get in the car now."

She scowls and pouts at me but gets into the car anyways. "Bye Quinn!"

"Bye Rachel," Quinn says while slam the door shut.

Quinn and I walk around the front of my car and when she starts walking towards her car I call out, "I really am sorry."

"I know."

"Umm... if you ever want to talk or whatever...?" What? Way to be the most awkward human ever.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, no problem."

"Umm... you have fifteen minutes to get Rachel home," Quinn says looking up from her watch.

"Crap! I'll text you okay, Q!"

"Umm... okay?"

I don't have time to respond to that, but I am going to text her. Maybe not tomorrow, but sometime.

When I get in the car Rachel, wakes back up and asks as I start the car, "Are we gonna be friends with Quinn this summer?"

"Do you want to be?" I ask knowing full well that they don't have the best track record.

"I think so."

"I'll ask you again tomorrow afternoon," I chuckle as I stop at the stop sign at the end of Puck's street.

"Why not the morning?" Rachel asks putting her head on my arm.

"Trust me, you aren't going to want to talk to anyone in the morning."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So, I don't really have a good excuse as to why this took so long to update other than writer's block. It's been plaguing my mind for quite some time now. You have David Guetta, Gavin DeGraw and Jessie J to thank for pulling me out though. I'm hoping all my ideas for this are going to start fitting together properly soon. I won't let this go that long without an update ever again. Well, I'll try super hard.**


	3. An Interesting Conversation

Summer Vacation  
>Day 1<p>

We pulled up to the Berry House at 12:55 (because everything in Lima is ten minutes away). Luckily, Rachel stayed awake for the whole ride and was able to get out of the car on her own. She did however, request another piggyback ride. I made her pop a few Altoids in her mouth before we got out of the car and I consumed about ten on the ride home. I _knew_ that Leroy would be waiting up for us.

Clearly he was listening carefully for the key in the lock because just as I stepped in the door with Rachel on my back, Leroy was stepping into the front hall.

"Cutting it pretty close," he said stepping closer to us.

I gulped, "It won't happen again."

"It's okay, Santana. You're on time," Hiram came in from the top of the stairs. "Long night?" he asked indicating to his snoring daughter on my back.

"Knowing her, she probably had a long day," I chuckled a little, "even on the last day she was probably working a million times harder than everyone else." That wasn't even a cover up. It was probably true.

"Make sure she rests a little this summer," Leroy requested as he stroked Rachel's cheek.

"I'll try," I smiled and then yawned. I shifted Rachel up a little bit on back, feeling exhaustion from the entire day and night finally hit me.

"Okay, get up there," Leroy said to me in his deep voice. He kissed Rachel's forehead and then kissed the top of my head. The gesture would have put the biggest smile on my face had I not been hoping so hard that he couldn't smell the alcohol that was probably already seeping out of Rachel's pores.

"Good night, Leroy," I said as I started up the stairs.

"Night Santana."

I got to Rachel's door and heard foot steps behind me. "Make sure she sleeps on her side," I heard Hiram say from behind me.

I winced a little before I turned back around and whispered, "You're not mad?"

"Not at you," he whispered back, "if I know my daughter at all, I know that there was probably no stopping her," he added and then turned around to go to his and Leroy's room.

I feel like I could have stopped her, though. Actually, I shouldn't have let Puck make the Moose Juice vegan friendly. She's probably going to get in trouble when the Berry Dads get home tonight.

It took me a while but I got Rachel out of her jeans, her polo and her bra (which I actually felt a little guilty taking off of her while she was quasi-unconscious, but I knew she'd be mad if she woke up with it on). It took me the same amount of time to get my Nationals t-shirt on her. She somehow laid down in the bed on her own and curled up on her side.

I found another one of my t-shirts under her bed and put that on. I also found my body pillow under there. This is the body pillow that went missing about two months ago, not long after I moved in. I wasn't even mad! It's actually really adorable that she stole it from me. Well, I was a little mad that it was under her bed, but the adorable-ness outweighs all else. As always.

Finally, I snuggled up behind her and passed out really quick.

Now, I'm a wake and preparing for Rachel's hangover in the kitchen. It's ten in the morning and she isn't up yet. She's definitely going to feel like crap. I'm thinking that she snuck in a third cup of Moose Juice somehow. At least she didn't puke last night.

Oh, but she is now. Shit.

After removing all of the vegan breakfast items from their skillets, I run upstairs to the bathroom. I find Rachel leaned over the toilet, gripping her hair with one hand and her stomach with the other.

"Hey, babe. You okay?" I ask as I collect her hair from her.

"Shhh... you don't have to scream," she whispers into the bowl and then heaves again. I don't think there's anything coming out anymore. I rub her back lightly with my free hand and she says, "I shouldn't have had that third cup of Puck's juice."

I am trying so hard not to laugh at her. She has no idea what she just said. Okay, this is serious time, Rach needs me. "Hey, gorgeous?" I whisper as lightly as I can.

"Mmm?"

"I made you some breakfast. I know you're not feeling that great but eventually you need something in your stomach," I whisper.

"Thank you," she finally looks up from the bowl. Her eye liner from last night is all smudged and her face is a little pale. I still think she looks beautiful. Is that weird? It can't be. I kiss her forehead and she says, "You're the best."

"I know. Come on, let's get you back in bed," I whisper and start helping her up off of the floor.

"Slow," she winces.

"Whatever you need, babe."

"Pain killers," she groans when she's finally standing up.

"Coming right up," I say as I slink my arm around her waist and start leading her towards her room.

"And something to drink. My mouth is dry," she says making smacking sounds with her mouth.

"No problem. I'll be right back, okay," I whisper to her when she's settled back in the bed.

"Okay, San," she mumbles. I kiss her cheek and leave the room for the kitchen.

I think I have a Powerade in the fridge. She _will_ drink it. It's vegan friendly and calorie free. I'll put it in a cup so that she doesn't question it as much. Okay, plate of food, glass of Powerade and pain killers are in the downstairs bathroom. Hmm... maybe I should put the plate and glass down so that I can actually get the pills.

Alright! Santana to the rescue!

I am such a dork.

"Hey beautiful," I whisper as I slip through the door. I chuckle a little bit because while I was downstairs, she closed her curtains and put some sunglasses on. "Babe, you look ridiculous."

"Well I feel like there's a solar powered jack hammer in my head," she groans and sits up slowly. She scrunches her nose and sniffs a little, "What is that?"

Oooo... I hope breakfast isn't making her sick again. "Umm... tofu bacon and Morning Star breakfast sausage?"

She lifts up her sunglasses and her eyes go wide when she sees the plate in my hand, "Oh, I love you so much!"

I can't help but smile at her. Every time I hear the words come out of her mouth a smile instantly appears through mine. It's big, too. Teeth and everything. Whenever I take a picture now, I think about her saying "I love you" to me and instantly I have the smile I want everyone to see. I want everyone to know that I was happy at this time in my life and whenever I see those pictures, I'll know exactly why.

I walk over to the bed and sit down as I hand her the plate, "Eat a little bit and then take the pills okay?"

She grabs the cup from my other hand and looks into it, "What's this?"

"Powerade."

She scrunches her face and asks, "What flavor is it?"

I shrug and answer, "Blue?"

"That isn't a flavor," she scowls.

"Just drink it! It has a bunch of electrolytes and the vitamin B that you need in it and no calories," I plead.

"Your intelligence is showing, it's sexy," Rachel says and stares at me as she takes a sip from the glass.

"Eat," I tell her and nudge the plate on her lap towards her a bit.

She bites her lip a little just before bringing some pretend bacon to her mouth. I roll my eyes and get up off the bed, heading for the door.

"Hey, where are you going?"

"I need to take a shower," I say without turning around.

"Can I come?"

"No. You need to eat and take those pain killers. You have a jackhammer in your head remember?" I say crossing my arms and turning at the doorway.

"It's better," she pouts.

"Oh really?" I practically shout.

Rachel winces and starts rubbing her temples, "Oh! Why did do that?"

"No sex until your hangover is gone. I held out for an entire month for you, you can hold out until you're better," I say, pointing at her, "I'm showering. By myself."

"Fine!" she grumbles and then takes a big bite out of one of her fake sausages.

"I love you!"

With a mouth full of phony sausage, "I love you, too. Now, get out of my room."

It is literally impossible to take that seriously.

* * *

><p><em>All the girls at the party look at that body,<br>__Shakin' that thing like you never did see_

Why is this song stuck in my head? And are those even the words? I think I was like ten when it came out. Whatever.

_Got a nice package alright,  
><em>_Guess I'm gonna have to... ride... it... to_- Ew.

Gross Janet Jackson lyrics.

Wow, how gay was that reaction?

Anyways, shower's done time to get dressed. Hmmm... why is my door open? Oh good, Rachel's feeling better. Okay, why is she in the shoe box?

"Hey, Rach," I say as I nonchalantly walk into my room in my towel.

"Did you put these in here?" she asks showing me two cards.

Ummm... duh. "Well if you didn't, then who else would?"

"Shh."

"Your head still hurt?" I ask crossing my arms. I swear, if she tries anything and she isn't feeling better, I will be sooo mad!

"Not really. I just feel kind of icky," she says as she sits down with her legs crossed on my floor. She huffs and asks, "You really put these in here?"

I'm not really sure what the issue is here. It's not like I've put anything in that's absolutely insane. I don't even know which ones she's talking about. "What do those ones say?"

"Well, there's this one," she says holding up one of the cards to me.

I walk over, grab it and then head over to my dresser. I put it down and as bend down to open a drawer I read it.

_I want to fuck you with the strap-on, from behind, with your skirt still on._

I put that in there yesterday after our nap. I'm thinking she isn't cool with this one. Okay so it's a little risqué.

Wait, no it isn't!

Come on! She put one in there that says 'in the park... in public.'

And I mean, seriously, how hot would that be? So I have a little fantasy, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that.

"It's just a suggestion..." I shrug as I turn around with some clothes in one hand and the card in the other.

"It's vulgar."

"Why because I wrote the word 'fuck' in the sentence?" I ask. Then I give her a little smirk, turn around and drop my towel. After a couple seconds I look over my shoulder and catch her staring right at my ass, "It's rude to stare."

Without looking up, she says, "I will stare at my girlfriend's fantastic ass whenever I want." She looks back up and quirks her eyebrows up, "And I never said that you couldn't do it, I just thought it was vulgar."

Oh... yes!

"I don't know what this one even means," she says after I've put my clothes on.

I walk over and sit down on the floor with her. She hands me the card and when I look at it, I start cracking up.

"What is so funny?"

"You really don't know what this means?" I can't even believe it. She doesn't know what 69-ing is.

I'm actually surprised we've never done it.

"No! Why won't you tell me?" she pouts.

That pout is not going to work! "You trust me right?"

"You know I do," she sighs.

"Well, then, you're going to find out what this means later... when you're definitely better," I say giving her calf a little squeeze.

"Well, now I'm nervous," she says crossing her arms and chewing on her lip.

"Don't be, you're gonna love it. I promise. But seriously, it has to be later. I can tell that you still don't feel well," I say in my concerned voice and run my fingers up her calf.

"How?" she says with a whole bunch of doubt in her eyes.

It's actually really easy for me to tell. Rachel has excellent posture, even when she's sitting on the floor, but right now, her shoulders are slumped forward and her back is bent. "You're slouching."

"Oh," she says looking down at her body. She seems to notice what I've pointed out and then tries to straighten herself out. Clearly uncomfortable with the position, she lets her shoulders slip back down and her back curl forward.

Even when she's sick, she's trying to be strong. I wish she didn't feel like she had to do that. At least not with me. It's not like I'm judging her. If there's one person in this world that I never pass my usual judgement on, it's Rachel.

"Come on, let's go downstairs and have movie cuddle time. I think there's a certain Barbara movie down there that you might want to watch," I say as I get up from the floor.

"I like that idea," she responds and then attempts to get up. She merely gets to the part where she puts her hands on the ground and pushes up. The simple exertion is a little too much for her at the moment and she actually gives in and asks, "Will you help me get up?"

I extend my hands out to her and she grips them as hard as she can. I'm completely prepared to do all of the work in this. She adjusts her legs and plants her feet on the floor. "Ready?" I ask and then after she nods, pull with as much as I deem necessary. It's a little too much and when she's up, she has a little too much momentum and is flying into me. I wrap my arms around her and stop both of us from moving any further. I feel her sink into me instantly, her face buried in my chest.

I feel her breathe in hard and then hum, "Mmmm. You smell like Santana."

"Well, what else would I smell like?" I ask softly and lightly kiss her head.

"Sometimes you smell like apricots and vanilla and sometimes I can smell a hint of grape," she says without picking her head up and sniffing again.

"That's my hairspray," I say though a small laugh.

"I know. I can always catch the way that _you_ smell though," she sighs.

"And what do I smell like?"

"I don't know how to describe it other than Santana," she says taking in another breath and tightening her arms around my waist.

The feeling coursing through my body absolutely overwhelming. I noticed a while ago that she liked the way that I smell. I've seen her bury her face into my pillow or brush a piece of my clothing that she's wearing across her nose. It's why she stole my body pillow. That scent, it's me. I mean, it's something I have no control over. It's kind of like she can't get enough of me. I love it. I'm never wearing body spray again. I might even abandon the hairspray.

"It just makes me happy whenever I smell it. I love it so much I stole something from you," she confesses finally, looking up at me.

"My body pillow?" I ask and she adopts a nervous look, "I know. It's okay. You can keep it. Although, it might start smelling like you after a while and I might have to steal it back." I give her a little smirk. Truth be told, I can't get enough of the way that she smells either. Even right now. Despite the fact that she's hungover, she still smells like Rachel.

There's this spot behind her ear that whenever I find my nose there, I have to sniff. I find myself kissing her there for both of our benefit. It's a combination of her skin and her hair that I find completely intoxicating. Seriously, alcohol is pretty much useless to me with Rachel around.

"Ready to have cuddle time?" I ask as I tuck my hands under her t-shirt and let them rest on the swell of her back. Another one of my favorite places on her body.

"I want to shower first. I feel like smell awful. I'm not even sure how you can stand so close to me right now," she says trying to get loose from my hold on her.

Not happening.

"Because I love you no matter state you're in. I'd stand this close to you even if you were sneezing all over the place and had snot dripping out of your nose," I say with a smile. This is 100% true. Even if it meant I was going to get sick, too, I'd still want to be close to her.

"Ew... wait, really?" Rachel asks with curiosity in her beautiful eyes.

"Hells yeah! How can I be your knight in shining armor if I keep away from you when you need me the most?"

Instantly I know I've said something that she thinks is perfect. She's speechless. All she does is wrap her arms around my waist again and place her cheek on my chest. I cross my arms across her back squeezing her into me and after a few seconds like this, I feel a wet spot developing on my t-shirt. "Hey, babe, what's the matter?"

"Nothing," she mumbles into my chest and then looks up at me with her smudged eye liner and wet eyes, "everything is perfect. You're perfect. This is perfect." She lifts up on her tip toes, drapes her arms on my shoulders, and places her lips softly on mine, "You are my knight in shining armor."

I close my eyes and press our foreheads together. I'm completely reveling in this moment. This is perfect. She's perfect. Now I have tears in my eyes. I will always, gladly accept tears of happiness.

* * *

><p>I cannot believe I am sitting through <em>Funny Girl<em> for this girl. I am so whipped, the amount can't even be measured. It really doesn't matter, as long as she's happy. The movie's almost over anyways. Besides, I could sit through anything with Rachel in my arms, especially when we're like this. We're both lying down on the sectional, I'm on my back and Rachel's lying on top of me, our fronts pressed against each other. This is the most Rachel Blanket I have ever experienced.

Her head is right under my chin and with every breath I take I inhale a whiff of her shampoo. Oh, right, and I've been able to feel her mouthing the words along with the movie the entire time. Every time Barbara's mouth opens, so does Rachel's. Two and a half months ago I would have thought that was the stupidest thing I have ever witnessed, now it's one of those adorable little quirks that I couldn't imagine her without.

"When is your dad coming home from St. Louis?" Rachel asks pulling me out of the bubble I'd created while I was thinking about her.

"Ummm... Saturday... afternoon. I talked to him on Tuesday and he said he wanted to do dinner when he was home," I'm making a mental note to call him tonight... or tomorrow morning. Since we've been spending more time together, I've started missing him a lot more. I'd gotten so used to not having my parents around so much that I kind of forgot what it was like to spend time with them. He's been in St. Louis for a week and a half and I've called him 7 times already.

"Thank goodness, I think my Dads are having withdrawals. Their new bro has been gone for far too long," Rachel using the term "bro" is way too much for me to handle. I am cracking up. Because of the way that Rachel is lying on top of me, my laughter is shaking her, which causes her to laugh.

After the pain in my abs becomes a little too much, I calm my laughter down and say to her, "Have I told how adorable I think you are, yet today?"

"Probably," she says with a slight blush forming on her cheeks. She must feel it because she's burying her face back into my chest.

"Ok, then I won't tell you again, don't want it going to your head or anything," I say sarcastically. I feel her hand push up the side of my ribs and settle about three inches under my arm pit. Then coincidentally, I feel a sharp pain in the exact same place that her hand just stopped, "Ow! You know that's abuse!"

"Oh and tickling me until I feel as though I'm going to vomit isn't?" Rachel asks glaring at me.

"Tickling is way different than pinching! I think that's going to leave a bruise!" This shit still hurts!

Quickly she places her hands at both of my sides and maneuvers herself off of me. She lifts up her arm as if she about to attempt to lick her elbow and shows me a yellowing bruise at the top of her elbow.

"Is that my fault?" I ask feeling a little guilty.

"I'm not particularly sure, actually. It's kind of a mystery bruise. I wouldn't be surprised if it occurred the other day when you decided to sneak up on me and tickle me to the floor. I actually thought I was going to see my lunch again."

Okay so I guess as fun as that was for me, it was pretty terrible for her, "I'm sorry, Rach. I'll be less vigorous in my future tickle attacks." There's no way I'm stopping them, she is far too adorable when I tickle her for them to come to an end.

She knits her eyebrows together at me begins to turn away. I catch her wrist before she can walk away and pull her down onto me. She's sitting on my thighs and I sit up to start up an assault on her face and neck with my lips.

"Not fair! I can't stay mad at you when your lips are doing this to me!"

"That's the point!" I say and continue planting kisses on every bit of skin I can find on her face and neck. She's trying keep really stiff so I'll stop attacking her.

Oh please.

I get to that spot that I love so much. I lick my lips and the instant they touch it, she melts into my arms. "Sooo not fair," she mumbles as I give it more attention.

"Are you feeling better?" I whisper into her ear and then take a tiny piece of flesh that resides on her cartilage between my teeth.

I've been burning since I started kissing her neck. I'm pretty sure this is happening whether she's actually feeling better or not. It doesn't help that she was just a little mad at me. There's going to be one less card in the box soon.

"Totally," she husks out and tilts her head back as I direct my mouth back down to her neck.

"So, ready to learn what that card means?" I rasp out. For some reason my mouth is feeling really dry. Not helpful for what's about to happen.

Am I nervous? Why? It's not like I've never done this before. No, you know what this is? Well, of course you don't, you aren't me. It's that excited feeling I get when I'm about to do something kind of special with Rachel. Not that 69ing is particularly special, but this is the first card being eliminated from the box. We decided to start them after school was over.

"Mhm," she hums and nods lightly.

I'm moving my lips down her jawline up to her lips. I love her lips. I usually watch her speaking and only think about how much I want them pressed up against mine... or somewhere on my body.

"Upstairs?"

"Please," she exhales.

We get up, her first, then me and we hold hands all the way through the kitchen, up the stairs and into her bedroom.

This is going to be slow and sexy. She doesn't know what's happening and I want to draw it out. Not to tease her... okay maybe it's tease her a little bit, but it's also with the hope that she really enjoys what we're going to do. I mean, I put the card in there for a reason. She really likes it when we do things together, so why wouldn't she enjoy this?

She closes the door and the moment she turns around to me, I bring my hand to her face and catch her lips with mine. She moans into my lips as soon as we make contact. Her hands make their way to my hips and then slide to my back under my t-shirt. I point my tongue and slide it along her bottom lip. Parting her lips, she sends her tongue out to meet mine. A slow battle of taste buds against taste buds begins. Our hands shift slowly to different places. Her fingertips are dancing lightly across the skin on my back.

I'm lost in what's going on between our tongues and don't notice that my shirt is coming off until it gets stopped at my arms. I lift them up so she can take it off. I'm not going to stop her from trying to take the lead from me, this should be pretty equal.

Look at me being all symbolic.

Equal means equal though, so her shirt is coming off next. And there it goes, on the floor with mine.

Today's been completely lazy and completely lazy means no bra... or underwear... for either of us.

"Mmm," Rachel hums as my hands dive into the back of her shorts and skim lightly over the skin on her ass.

She walks her fingers up my abs and finds my breasts, palming them both. After a light squeeze, she rubs her thumbs over my nipples. I bite my lower lip and let out a low hum. Her hands linger on my breasts for a moment longer and then she restarts her walking fingers. I feel her finger tips press against my chest one by one as they make their way to my neck. Each one gives me this feeling in my lower back. It's like a tiny spasm, but it isn't painful or obnoxious, it feels amazing. It makes my breathing kind of erratic. The feeling builds slightly as her fingers do their dance up and around my neck. When her fingers find the back of my head, they stop their journey and begin to massage.

I love that she's obviously anxious, but she's pretty much keeping with my pace.

Oh my god! Her fingers are amazing. She keeps moving them along my head as I direct my lips down her neck to her shoulder. I look down her back and notice for the first time, that I've pushed her shorts down. I've been like, unconsciously undressing her. That might be dangerous. Well, I might as well keep going.

Just throwing this out there, her butt looks good no matter what angle I look at it from.

Before she can even think about taking her fingers out of my hair, I press our bodies together and pull down my own shorts so she can feel that they're coming off already.

"I was going to do that," she whispers.

"I know," I respond and then bite down into her shoulder. She sucks in air quickly through her teeth and balls her hands into fists, taking chunks of my hair into them. I lick over the bite mark and blow air onto it to cool it. Hmm... do I want leave a mark?

"Oh, San, don't stop," Rachel moans, pushing my head down into her shoulder more. Clearly, I made the right decision.

"So," I begin as I start shifting my hand around her hips, "are you ready?" Just as I finish the question, my hand gets to her slit. I don't even have to go inside to know, "Oh, you're definitely ready."

"What are we doing?" she asks with lots of excess air surrounding her words.

"I promise you'll figure it out once we get going," I say as I get onto her bed. She follows me and even starts to lie down with me, but I stop her, "Uh uh. You're on top." She simply responds with a puzzled look at which I respond, "It'll be easier." That didn't help her confusion at all.

Ugh. This isn't going to sound sexy at all, but I really can't think of any other way to say it to her.

"Rach?"

"Yeah," she responds nervously.

"Straddle my face."

"What?"

"You heard me."

"Umm..." she utters nervously and then starts to swing her left leg over me. That's the wrong one, I don't want her to face the headboard.

"Other leg."

"Oh. Okay..."

She takes her leg back and then I see it: her thinking face. I can pretty much see the gears grinding in her head. The connection between what position I'm telling her to get in and the number on the card is finally hitting her. I know she gets it completely when she licks her lips and adjusts her posture. She tells me she gets it by confidently saying, "Oh," and lifts her right leg over me.

I don't even have to tell her to bend forward, she does it on her own and after a little adjustment, I feel the coolness of her breath on my wet skin. She moans a little as I kiss the back of her thighs. I run my fingers up them, settling on her ass and squeezing.

She hums out her pleasure as she lays kisses on across my hips.

I move my hands down and begin teasing her lips with my fingers, listening as her hums get more throaty.

Her kisses change direction and when she places one on the top of my slit, I can't stop the moan from coming out of my mouth.

Time to start.

Holding her thighs a little, I lift myself up and point my tongue into her clit.

"Unh," Rachel moans and in less than a second I feel her tongue slide down my clit.

I forgot how much concentration goes into the this. Just, "Mmmm," keep moving your tongue, "fuck!" and stop using words to express how awesome Rachel is. Tell her with your tongue.

Duh.

Well, when you look at it that way, this is an interesting conversation. It's like every motion my tongue makes she has a response with hers. After circling at least a paragraph around her clit, I decide to change the subject. I ease into the new topic by swirling my tongue slowly up her length until I finally get to my point.

She responds by sucking my clit in between her lips and flicking her tongue simultaneously.

My response: a more vigorous conversation with the nerves at her entrance. It's so intense, I start talking with my hands. I'm pretty sure my last topic was feeling neglected anyways.

While I combine my topics, Rachel moans into me and starts getting a little more animated in her own response. Her hands get involved as well and I feel her fingers enter me, slowly.

My tongue and fingers start picking up the pace of their discussion. Rachel does the same.

And here's where concentration really gets difficult. I feel that tug in my stomach and my inhalations are getting sharp. I listen for a moment to hear Rachel's breathing. I don't have to hear it, I can feel it. She's moaning through her licks and what I really need to listen for is... is... nothing. Here come those scattered thoughts. I really hope she's as close as I think she is because... I'm... oh god... I'm... FUCK!

And there's silence on the other end.

I'm grabbing at her hip because even through her own orgasm (of which one of her reactions to is to dig her nails into my thigh) she keeps her tongue moving and her hand pumping.

Maybe she doesn't know... mmm... that I'm coming... maybe I should stop?

I stop my tongue and fingers, but just as I do, this wave hits me and what do I do? I smack Rachel with the hand that was grabbing her hip. I didn't do it on purpose. It was a reflex.

She stopped though.

For a moment, she relaxes on top of me. She takes a few deep breaths and rolls off of me.

With all of the energy I can find, I sit up. I want to see her face when I ask her, "So, did you like that one?"

"Yes," I smile and reach for the hand that she left on my leg, "and no."

Wait. What?

"Okay?"

Rachel smiles and then chuckles a little bit. I'm sure she expected that reaction. "Yes, because I really like when we touch each other simultaneously and you know I_ love_ when we come together. And no, because I can't see you, I _love_ being able to see you, too," she rolls her eyes and bites her lower lip, "I also really like hearing the things you say when I'm doing things to you. You can't say them if your mouth is busy doing something else."

Well, I wasn't expecting that last part. "So you like the swears and the random Spanish that come flying out of my mouth."

"Both sufficiently affect my level of arousal, which is usually already extremely high by the time the cursing and Spanish begin," Rachel answers in true Rachel fashion. I wouldn't have it any other way. "Nap?"

"Since when do you enjoy sleeping so much?" I ask, not because I don't want to nap, but because usually Rachel is not about spending the day lazing about completely.

"It's just for today. Tomorrow I'll be up and on the elliptical. I can have a day of rest with my girlfriend," she says as she traces lazy patterns over my calf.

"You can have many days of rest this summer," I say as I lie down on my stomach so that our heads are next to each other.

"But-"

"No buts. You're going to rest a little this summer, okay. Don't worry, you know I won't let you skip any of your lessons, but I'm also going to make you rest. This will be a perfectly balanced summer, okay babe?"

She knits her brow and breathes in deep. After the breath, her face relaxes and she says, "You are so wonderful. I love you."

I brush a stray piece of hair from her cheek then lean over to give her a kiss. "I love you."

"Naked nap time now?"

"Shameless."

"I learn from the best."

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I am writing as fast as I can. Trust me, I want to get these chapters out much quicker than this. Actually, if I had internet access this weekend, this would have been up sooner. Well, let me know what you thought!**


	4. Speak for Yourself

Summer Vacation  
>Day 2<p>

Naked nap time is one of my favorite things ever... just throwing that out there.

Oh, I didn't check my phone almost all day yesterday. I finally picked it up before I started making dinner and I had missed five texts from four different people. Here they are:

**From Britt Britt:  
><strong>Hey best friend! Can u txt me back? I need a favor! Love u!

**From Papá:  
><strong>Hola Mija! Just wanted to know how you're doing? Tell Rachel, Leroy and Hiram I said hi! Te amo!

**From Puckerman:  
><strong>Whaddup broski! Tekken marathon soon?

**From Britt Britt:  
><strong>OK please get back to me soon. Really important.

And finally:

**From Q:  
><strong>Hey. I'm sorry that you thought I was trying get in between you and Rachel. And even though it was a little harsh, I want to thank you. I actually feel better.

Okay, let's start from the beginning. Brittany's going on a little day trip with Artie and his parents so she needed someone to babysit Lily for the day. Rachel and I are babysitting today.

I'm going to call my Dad tonight but I sent a message back telling him that I missed him and all that cheesy daughter stuff.

Next week starts Rachel's Tuesday and Thursday all day triple threat training camp so Puck and I will be getting our video game marathon on often.

And once again, finally: Quinn. I haven't responded yet. I don't know how! I bet you that the message she sent me was the 9000th revision. There's no way that Q just came up with that shit and then sent it to me no problem. I just feel like it deserves a dignified response or something. I know, look at me all valiant and shit.

I did re-ask Rachel if she wanted to try to be friends with Quinn. Her answer was the same. Of course it was. She has a surprisingly big and forgiving heart. Just one of the bajillion reasons why I love her. I don't even think that a bajillion is a number... oh well. If she didn't have a such a big and forgiving heart, we never would have happened. And that makes me sad to think about.

It is 8:30 in the morning, on the second day of summer vacation and I am awake. I wish I wasn't such a light sleeper! Rachel's elliptical isn't even that loud and she has her ear buds in. I guess I'll get up.

Lazily, I roll out of Rachel's bed and walk over to the doorway of her little work out room.

Popping out one of her ear buds, Rachel says to me with a smile, "Morning, sunshine!"

"Please don't send me to a crack house," I respond through a raspier than usual voice.

"Huh- oh. Rude," she huffs, "For your information that's just a saying and it wasn't active!"

"Babe, I was joking," I respond. Whoa what is with my voice?

"Does your throat hurt?" Rachel asks with a slightly panicked look on her face.

"No. I think I slept with my mouth open or something," I say. Isn't that a fun little joke at my own expense?

"Oh good," she says all relieved.

What was that all about? Oooh! I totally remember! Tonsils. Got it.

"I think I just need some water. Don't worry, babe, no laryngitis here."

"Okay, well just in case, I'm not going to offer you my water."

Is laryngitis even contagious? Whatever, I get it. It's her voice. Hell, I'd be depressed if she lost it.

"I'm gonna go make us some breakfast."

With a pout, Rachel asks, "Reeses Puffs?"

"Okay, beautiful," I rasp out with a smile.

"Ew. I'm all sweaty."

"You're always beautiful," I sigh. I watch as her elliptical pace slows and then I turn out of the room.

I feel like by now she should expect things like that to come out of my mouth. I do it all the time and every time she has the same reaction: she doesn't know what to say. I love it! I mean, Rachel always has something to say, so rendering her speechless is kind of something to be proud of.

After a few sips of water my voice is back to its usual level of raspiness. And now that that is fixed, time for some breakfast making.

Oh, how I love Reeses Puff cereal. It's only the best breakfast invention ever. Well, I guess if you're allergic to peanuts it's not the best, but I'm not and neither is Rach, so it's the best. And it's ours. The end.

AND it's super great with the vanilla soy milk that Hiram buys.

"You ruined the rest of my work out," Rachel comes in from the stairs.

"What?" I ask as I grab a couple spoons. That doesn't even make sense.

"All I could think about was how much I wanted to kiss you! You ruined all my pacing because I couldn't concentrate and now I'm all discombobulated," she huffs as she sits down behind a heaping bowl of our favorite cereal.

"So am I not getting that kiss?" I ask as cute as I can and lean in closer to her.

"I hate how irresistible you are," she says with a knitted brow. She stands up on the stool she's sitting on, leans over the table and kisses me.

Mmmm Rachel lips. And Rachel butterflies.

"You wouldn't have kissed me like that if that were true," I say after she slowly pulls away.

"Shh," she shushes with her finger to her lips and a little scowl. Then she gives me a tiny half smirk and directs her attention to her cereal.

I just cannot get enough of this girl. I guess it's a good thing I live with her then isn't it?

"Good morning ladies."

And her dads.

"Morning Papa!"

"Morning, H!"

"How come you're still home?" Rachel asks as Hiram pours himself a cup of coffee. She sounded a little annoyed when she asked.

"What? Is my presence ruining your life?" he returns with sass and drama. I hope that makes sense.

"I like hanging out with your dads," I say to Rachel.

"Thank you, Santana," Hiram says looking directly at Rachel.

She gives me a scowl and then a smile pops up on her face. "Even in your underwear?" she asks leaning back in her stool to sneak a peak.

I totally forgot! I assumed L and H would be out of here by now. Great.

"I don't know if you've forgotten honey, but I'm a gay man. Your scantily clad girlfriend has nothing to worry about," he says to Rachel and then looks towards the stairs.

Wait... ummm hello! Gay dads!

"Your girlfriend should be worried that she's scantily clad in front of your fathers, though!" I hear the frightening, deep voice of Leroy Berry coming from the stairs.

Right. Gay _dads_.

Fuck.

"Oh come off it Leroy. The girl just woke up," Hiram comes to my rescue.

"Exactly! She slept in the same bed as your sixteen year-old daughter like that Hiram."

I can't tell who he's more angry at, me or H... or maybe Rachel. Just to clarify, he isn't yelling. Actually, Leroy never yells. He doesn't have to, his voice is scary enough without having to raise it.

"Oh please, Lee, it's not like we have to worry about a teen pregnancy."

This isn't happening. No way.

I have no idea how Rachel's reacting to this! I can't even look at her! I am absolutely mortified!

Forehead, meet table.

"So what's on the agenda for today girls?"

Wait it's over? Did I block it out or something? Maybe I hit my head?

"We're babysitting Brittany's little sister, Lily," Rachel answers rather dryly. Hmmm... I wonder how she felt about the previous argument that I seem to have missed.

"Oh yeah? How old is she?" Hiram asks as he sits down at the other side of the island.

"She's eight going on thirty-two," I say with a chuckle.

"What do you plan on doing with her. You've gotta have a plan ready for an eight year-old," Leroy adds as he stares into the fridge.

"Well, oddly enough, she loves going to the mall. It's like the zoo for her, except that the people are the animals and there aren't any cages," I say completely serious.

Rachel giggles and grabs my knee under the table, "She's actually Santana's little sister. She just looks like Brittany and lives at the Pierce house."

Oh finally some laughter! From everyone! Totally necessary. Maybe Leroy will laugh so hard he'll forget I'm down here in Rachel's tiny t-shirt and my underwear. That's complete wishful thinking, I know.

"I was also thinking a movie. Isn't that Panda movie out? She like, loved the first one." I did, too. Don't tell anyone.

"That sounds fun!" Rachel jumps a little in her stool, "We should probably start getting ready, though. We told Brittany we would come pick Lily up at 10:30, it's quarter past nine."

That's it! That whole debacle lasted probably a mere 5 minutes of my life? What the fuck?

"Okay girls, we'll probably be gone by the time you get back down, so hugs," Hiram suggests and walks over to our corner of the island. He hugs Rachel and she gives him a kiss on the cheek. He comes over to me and wraps his arms around me. He whispers into my ear, "Try to remember some pants next time." I actually laugh. I like that Hiram can always make you feel better about a not-so-fantastic situation.

"Have a good day ladies," Leroy says as he walks over to us with banana in hand. He kisses us both on the top of our heads. He didn't say anything about my outfit. Thank god! I have no idea what I would have done. Actually, I think I would have melted. Yeah, I would have melted like the Wicked Witch of the West.

Too much time with Rachel.

Nah, there's no such thing.

* * *

><p>So Little One's kind of a strange eight year-old. One of her favorite things to do is sit in the food court in the mall and watch all the people around her. If Rachel and I let her, she'd probably stay there all day. But, alas, Rachel has a hard time justifying staying in one place for too long, so we're going to get some shopping in.<p>

We also still have about an hour and a half to kill before the movie starts.

Rachel wants to go to a department store... I don't think she's ever gone shopping with a child before. She's lucky that Little One likes to be really close to people and will probably always be holding either mine or Rachel's hand the entire time.

She's currently holding both of our hands as we walk to the department store. It's pretty damn cute.

"Where are we going again?" Little One asks tugging on my arm.

"Macy's," I answer.

"Oh. That's the store with all the ladies that spray smelly stuff at you when you walk in," Lily says scrunching her freckled face. It isn't even summer yet and they're already out on display. When we were little, Brittany had them, too. It was the first thing I noticed when I met her in dance class when we were seven. I guess she's like, grown out of them or something.

Rachel and I are cracking up.

"Do me a favor, okay Little One?" I say as we walk into the store.

She looks up at me and says, "What do want me to do?"

"Always speak your mind. Always."

I hear Rachel make that teeth sucking noise and I know she doesn't approve. As if she has a filter.

"Let's steer clear of the perfume ladies," Rachel says and purposely bumps her hip into Lily, who instantly giggles and then bumps her hip into me.

Rachel has steered us in the direction of Men's section in order to get to the escalator.

"Ew boys underwear!" Little One points and giggles as we pass by racks of men's underwear.

As we're passing I spot a pair of Green Lantern briefs. Not gonna lie, I want them. Subconsciously, I start walking towards the rack that they're on.

"Umm... San, the escalators are this way," I hear Rachel say.

"I loved the Green Lantern when I was little!" I say as I get to the rack.

"You would look so cute in those," Rachel whispers into my ear.

"Those are boys' undies! Look they have a pee pee hole!" Lily says giggling some more.

"Which is why I'm not buying them," I say looking at a disappointed Rachel. Then I see something pop into her head.

"Hey, Lil, how do you know that's what that's for?" Rachel asks with a very perplexed look on her face.

I feel like she never played "I'll show you mine if you show me yours" when she was little.

"My friend Joey showed me his... thingy," Little One says. It was quite confident until she didn't know what to call it.

Laughter is boiling up in my chest. I can't laugh. I cannot laugh.

Rachel's hand is covering her mouth. I can't tell if she's shocked or trying not to laugh.

"It's okay, though. We were fair. I showed him mine, too."

Oh my god! I don't know what to do right now. I personally find nothing wrong with this. She's a curious kid. All kids are curious. I don't think that Rachel gets it though. I'm thinking we should exit the Men's Underwear section.

"Hey, let's go where you wanted to go in this place," I say to a still shocked Rachel.

"Okay," Rachel sighs and starts pulling Lily back out to the main walkway.

I pull out my phone and text Britt. Not that I think it's a problem, but I feel like she should probably know about it. She can decide if her parents need to know.

**To Britt Britt:  
><strong>So, Little One just told Rach and me about a little game of show and tell she had with her friend Joey. Just thought you'd want to know. Love you!

When we get to the top of the escalator Rachel and Lily walk towards the shoe department that's on one side of the walk way and I go over to dresses that are on the other side. A really cute red one caught my eye immediately. Ha, just what I need: another red dress.

"Rachel said that you should get me an ice cream," Little One says tugging on my shirt.

"Did she really?" I ask as I seek out the little brunette that supposedly made this suggestion.

"Uh huh and she said that we can go without her because she's gonna be a little while. Besides, she doesn't eat _real_ ice cream anyways," she says grabbing my hand and pulling me away from the little red dress that I will be back to purchase.

I turn back to try to find Rachel again before we walk to the other side to get to the down escalator and spot her looking at a pair of cute sandals. I'm actually a little surprised.

Lily is yanking me to the escalator. She's like, all about this ice cream. I think there's a place not far from here.

"Do you want the kind you have to scoop or soft serve?" I ask her as we get in line.

"I want the swirly kind. In a cone," she says nodding her head assuredly.

"Okay," I laugh out.

After we've been waiting in line for a little bit, I hear a "Psst," come from below me.

"Yes, Little One?"

Whispering, Lily asks, "Is that Quinn?" She points diagonally to the right, two store fronts over.

She's right. It is Quinn.

"Her hair is really short! I wanna say hi to her!"

And before I know it, Lily is running towards Quinn at full speed.

"Hey! Wait!" I call and start running after her.

Quinn must have heard me yelling because she turned from the window that she was looking into and caught me running towards her. She didn't even see Little One and she's completely caught off guard by the eight year-old slamming into her and wrapping her arms around her waist. Quinn looks away from me and down at a head of blond hair pressing into her. She starts cracking up, "Hi Lily!"

"Hi Quinn!" Lily says looking up at Q, "I like your hair! It's really pretty!"

"Thank you," Quinn says and then turns her attention to me, "Hey, S."

"Hi, Q. Um... are you here by yourself?" I ask. I'm sure she isn't.

"No, but I might as well be. I'm here with my Mom. I don't even know where she is. I walked away from her 45 minutes ago," Quinn says, clearly looking frustrated.

"Can Quinn come to the movie with us?" Lily whispers to me as if Quinn can't hear her.

"Um... yeah, sure, if she wants to see a movie about a Panda that knows Kung Fu," I say looking between Little One and Quinn.

"Umm... okay..." Quinn agrees.

Not gonna lie, this is a lot sooner than I thought we'd be starting this friendship with Q. I do feel bad for her, though. She looks really sad. I guess Quinn _has_ been through a lot. And _both_ of her parents suck, like hard core.

Fuck, when did I become nice?

Rachel.

"We were gonna get an ice cream, remember Santana?" Little One reminds me and grabs both mine and Quinn's hands. She leads us back to the ice cream line which has significantly less people in it this time.

"What kind are you getting?" Quinn asks Lily as we get back in line.

"The swirly kind in a cone," I answer with a little laugh.

"No sprinkles?" Quinn asks with fake shock.

Little One's jaw drops, "I can't believe I almost forgot sprinkles!"

"Phewf," I say wiping pretend sweat from my brow, "good thing Quinn was here to remind you that they existed!" I look to Quinn and give her a genuine smile. I think the one that I'm getting back is just as real as mine.

"Now here's the big decision," Quinn starts, "Rainbow? Or chocolate?"

"Rainbow! Duh! Who gets chocolate sprinkles?" Lily scoffs at us.

"I do!" I say with my fist on my hip.

"Hmm... I would have pegged you as the rainbow sprinkle type," Quinn says with a smirk.

I think that was a gay joke.

"Really? Speak for yourself, Fabray."

"Jeez, guys it's just sprinkles," Little One comes in from between us.

You know, I really hope she keeps to that favor I asked from her.

Oooo a text message.

**From Britt Britt:  
><strong>SHE TOLD YOU WHAT?

"Hey, Q, can you order? I have to call someone," I say and then mouth 'Brittany.' I pull a five out of my back pocket and offer it up.

"I'll buy it," she says pulling out a fifty, "My mother handed me this before she asked me to go away."

"I thought you..." sore subject, never mind, "Thanks."

Okay, calling Brittany.

"Why would she tell you that?"

"Hey, Britt. How's you day going? Mine's going wonderful, thanks for asking," I snark out through the phone.

"It's great. San, tell me what happened!"

This is so funny.

"Honestly, Rachel wanted to know why Lil knew why there was a flap in guys underwear. Then she said she played a little 'show me yours' with her friend that just so happens to be a boy. She really doesn't seem scarred," I say as nonchalant as possible.

"Should I tell my parents?"

"Do you really think they'll care? Britt, your mom walked in on me going down on you when we were 15 and then told us to proceed as she re-closed the door," I say facing the wall and when I turn back around, guess who's right there?

Just guess?

Of course Rachel sneaks up behind me when I'm talking about having sex with the one other girl I've ever had sex with. Seriously, what are the odds? Like a million to one?

"Yeah, you're probably right."

Rachel whispers to me, "Where's Lily?"

She isn't upset about what I just said to Britt! I gesture over towards Quinn and Lily who are starting to walk over to us, each with a rainbow sprinkled cone in their hands.

"Hey, Britt I have to go. We're taking Little One to see a movie and it starts soon. Have a good rest of the day with the Wheels family!"

Both Rachel and Quinn give me their "that was rude" face and Brittany actually says, "That's mean, San."

Lily wins though: she stomps on my foot.

"Okay! Have a good day with the Abrams. There are you all happy?"

How many ladies can whip Santana today?

Four.

* * *

><p>You know what's difficult? Buying concessions for an eight year old. Because the ice cream clearly wasn't enough, she also needed Sour Patch Kids... no M&amp;Ms... no Skittles... no popcorn... no wait, Sour Patch Kids.<p>

It's a good thing we got to the theatre thirty minutes early because it took us ten minutes to get away from the concession counter. The best part was that only Little One wanted something. Well, actually Quinn and I both ordered diet Pepsi's but that wasn't a big decision.

Luckily, we walked into the theatre before the previews started and finding four seats could become difficult. The seating arrangement goes as such Quinn, Little One, Me, Rachel. I think that Lily was having a hard time deciding who she wanted to sit next to. Before she could realize that she couldn't sit next to _all_ of us Rachel made the decision for her and pushed me into the aisle before herself.

Did I mention that Lily is super cuddly. This isn't my first movie excursion with her so I knew it was coming. She lifted up the arm rest between us, then lifted up my arm and snuggled right into my side.

On my other side, Rachel did the exact same thing. So, I've got my best friend's little sister curled into me on one side and my girlfriend cuddling with me on the other side.

And then there's Quinn. All by herself. Again.

I am getting really good at feeling bad for people.

About twenty minutes into the movie, I think that a certain perceptive Pierce girl realizes that Quinn has been left out of the cuddle fest. She whispers, "Sorry, Santana," and then removes my arm from her shoulder and scoots over in her seat. I know that Quinn wasn't expecting this.

Whatever! Now I have a free hand to hold Rachel's.

"What happened to Lily?" Rachel whispers and looks up at me from my shoulder.

I nod in the direction of Little One and Quinn and Rachel leans forward a little to see.

"Well that's cute," Rachel whispers when she gets back to my shoulder.

"Little One always does that," I whisper through a little laugh.

"Well, it's adorable."

"I know."

I kiss her forehead and settle my cheek on her head. Her hair smells great, as always. She's holding my hand with one of hers and with the other she's tracing lazy designs. Something that simple still gives me that fluttery feeling in my stomach.

Sorry, I have to go, these Kung Fu fighting animals and quasi-PDA time with Rach are much more important. Besides, you can easily see this movie on your own.

* * *

><p>Well that was thoroughly entertaining. Yup, Santana Lopez: a sucker for romcoms and animated kids' movies. Who'd have thought?

"Hey, the movie got out with perfect timing. We told Brittany we'd have you home by 7:30 and here it is, 7:15," Rachel says to Lily, who is not happy to hear that PezBerry and Quinn fun time is ending.

"But Brittany won't even be home!" Lily says as if that makes a difference.

"But your mom and dad are home, Little One," I remind her.

"Oh yeah," she huffs and crosses her arms. She starts walking out of the theatre and the three of us follow very close behind her.

"Umm..." Quinn starts.

"Yes, Quinn?" Rachel asks a little too enthusiastically. I shoot her a look that tells her it might be a little too much, but it's kind of unnecessary because she's already figured it out.

"Could you guys, possibly give me a ride to my house?" Quinn asks shyly.

Wow! What's happening to Q? I don't remember her ever being this shy. She's always been kind of a bitch. Like, I don't give a fuck whose face I'm stepping on, I'm getting what I want, bitch. Even after her pregnancy, which, let's be serious, probably should have been a little more humbling for her.

"Of course we can," Rachel answers sweetly. Much better.

"Quinn's coming to bring me home?" Lily asks stopping her march and turning around.

"Looks like it!" Quinn says and rushes forward to turn Lily around and start walking again. As per usual, Lily grabs Quinn's hand.

"This isn't that hard," Rachel whispers to me when Lily and Quinn are just far enough not to hear.

She's right, this was pretty easy. Although, the thing with this though is that we didn't really _hang__out_ with Quinn. We went to a movie and now we're taking her to her house. There's one more important element to this not being that hard, "We have a buffer."

"A what?" Rachel scoffs at a whisper.

"We're parked in the South garage!" I call out to Quinn and then whisper to Rachel, "Little One is our buffer. She prevents anything from going down. We feel like we have to be civilized humans in front of her so we don't let anything happen."

"Oh," Rachel says and then she sighs and says, "I don't understand. Why do you think a friendship with her is going to be so difficult?"

"Because it is," it's that simple, "It's not easy going from 'frenimies.' And you and Quinn have always been at odds."

"San, we're proof that people can change," she says to me simply.

Dammit! She's right again! Leave it to my own relationship to possibly prove me wrong.

Okay, here's why I'm really so wary about this whole Quinn friendship thing: I still think she has a thing for Rachel. Seriously, there's no way those looks were coming out of jealousy of our relationship. Maybe out of jealousy that she wasn't with Rachel, but definitely not because she wishes she could be gay out loud.

But, this is what Rachel wants. And I have a really hard time saying "no" to the girl.

"You're right, babe," I say just as we get to the door that leads out to the parking garage that Quinn and Lily are on the other side of.

"I know," Rachel says, "and you know what else I bet I was right about?"

"Umm... what?" I say a little nervously.

"That you'll look super cute in these," she says opening up her Macy's bag and showing me the Green Lantern briefs that she clearly plotted to buy me.

"You are too much," I say shaking my head and smiling, as I push open the door in front of us.

"You love me!"

"I sure do," I say and kiss her, forgetting that Lily and Quinn have been waiting for us.

"Ew! Mushy stuff!" Little One yells out.

"Yeah, ew, mushy stuff," Quinn says scrunching her face at Lily. She grabs her hand and starts walking into the rows of cars.

"We're late," I say and push the button on my key that locks the doors so that Lily and Quinn can find it.

"Shot gun!" Rachel yells out and then books it for the car, passing Quinn and Little One. After about a second, they realize what's happening and join in on the mad dash to the car.

"Blitz!" Quinn yells.

"Blitz back!" Rachel yells back to Quinn.

Well, Rachel wins.

* * *

><p>Little One fell asleep during the car ride home. I was pretty sure she was going to. She was basically a zombie when we gave her back to the Pierce Parents.<p>

I love Brittany's parents by the way. The Pierces are like my second family... the Berry's are my third. They've always made me feel like I was family. Ever since the first time I stepped foot in Brittany's house when I was seven, I've felt like I could always go there. I know that if I didn't have Rachel and her dads, I'd the Pierces to turn to.

Anyways, Brittany's dad carried Lily upstairs to her room while the rest of us chatted it up with their mom. She already knows Q and me, so she had a few questions for Rachel. She's one of those parents that actually cares about what kids that aren't her own children have to say.

Rach was nervous. Yeah, a girl that can stand up in front of hundreds of people and sing her freaking heart out, was nervous speaking to one of her friend's parents. She barely let on that she was, but she grabbed my hand when we sat down and the questions kept coming.

I have a feeling Brittany had already told her about Rachel and me, but I'm pretty sure if she hadn't, her mom would have figured it out in that moment anyways. She acknowledged our hands, but kept to her line of questioning.

When Britt's dad came back down, the questions moved over to Quinn. She hasn't been around much so they wanted to do some catching up.

We just walked out the door. It's 8:30.

"Hey Rach," I start when we're all in the car, "why were you so nervous when Britt's mom was asking you all those questions?"

"She was nervous?" Quinn asks looking and sounding pretty damn confused.

"I was a little bit nervous," Rachel says turning to the back seat to look at Quinn.

"Well you fooled me. How did _you_ know she was nervous?" Quinn asks, tapping on my shoulder.

I take my eyes off the road to look over at Rachel for a moment and then turn back saying, "She grabbed my hand and like, squeezed it so hard it practically went numb."

"I did not!"

"Close."

"Well, it was like meeting your parents again-"

"Nothing will _ever_ be like meeting my mother was," I say interrupting her.

"What?" Quinn asks.

Nosy.

Luckily the questioning comes just as we pull up to her house.

"Perhaps another time, Quinn," Rachel says as my knuckles start turning white on the steering wheel. I'm not sure why I'm so mad. But I am. And thank god for Rachel because I'm not sure what could have possibly flown out of my mouth at Quinn.

"Okay," Quinn says in that shy voice that I'm really not used to hearing. "Umm... so... see you guys around?"

I see Rachel nod out of the corner of my eye and then hear the door open.

"Thanks for inviting me, by the way. I had a good time," she says and then lets out a little sigh, "for once."

And then she steps out of the car.

I wait to pull away as she finds her key and unlocks the door. Before she walks in, she turns around and gives us a little wave.

Well how can I be mad now?

Fuck.

"What's wrong with you?" Rachel asks as I pull away from Quinn's house.

"It's none of her business! That's what's wrong with me!" Oh there it is!

"You didn't hear the concern in her voice?" Rachel asks.

Here's that big heart she's got chillin' up in her chest. No, of course I didn't hear the "concern in her voice." All I heard was her nosy ass asking about things she doesn't need to know about.

See, once that buffer is gone...

"That isn't something I listen for when it comes to Q," I say in all honesty.

"Well, maybe you should try to change that," Rachel says just as I throw the car into park in the driveway.

"You're really determined to make this 'friendship' work out aren't you?"

"She isn't happy, Santana. I know she's spent a lot of time making my life miserable, but I'm not really that innocent either. I'm thinking that a clean slate is in order, for all of us. Maybe we'll find a friendship we never saw coming," Rachel says. She laces her fingers in between mine and brings my hand to her lips, "Besides, we all deserve second chances."

Not fair! I am so bad at saying no to her!

"Okay, babe, I'll try for real. But just so you know, I'm doing this for you and not for Quinn." Well not yet anyways. She _really_ needs to prove to me that she doesn't want Rachel.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I am trying to write faster, but it's getting difficult to find time. I'm sorry that this is taking so long, but I promise that I'm not going to leave it hanging. Promise!**


	5. The Elephant

Summer Vacation  
>Day 3<p>

Dinner with Papá tonight! I actually think that L and H are more excited than I am, though. Leroy offered to cook! I don't have to do anything for this!

I'm teaching Rachel how to play Tekken instead of cooking.

She's really good.

You know, for someone who hates real violence, she sure loves the fake kind.

She's actually beating me right now.

"In. Your. Face. Lopez!"

And here comes the victory dance. It involves revolving hips and arms thrown up in the air. You know, if it wasn't so effing cute, I'd be pissed that she's been beating me. I might even be losing on purpose just so that I can see the dance.

At least I'm faking being upset that I'm losing.

"So who am I losing to this time?" I ask after she sits down and picks her controller back up.

"Ummm... Paul!" she says and the little picture of the beefy blonde haired dude flashes at us. "Who's ass is he kicking?"

"As if I'd pick anyone but Law?" I scoff.

"You probably should. You've lost every time but the first one with him," she teases very close to my face. I sneak in a kiss before she pulls her head back. Before turning back to the gigantic screen, she scrunches her nose and sticks her tongue out at me.

Just as our fight starts I get a text message. I'm assuming it's my dad, so I should probably get it right now.

Pause.

"Hey!"

"Hold on a second, babe. This might be Papá," I say as I pick up my phone.

Nope.

Not Papá.

**From Q:  
><strong>Hey, I was just wondering what you and Rachel were doing today?

Ummmm...

"What did he say... that's not from your dad, is it?" Rachel asks leaning in to try and read the message.

I willingly hand the phone over to her for her to read it.

"We should invite her over," Rachel says almost instantly after reading the text.

This is happening a little too fast for my liking.

Oh, no. She is _not_ pouting at me. I haven't even said no yet! Not fair!

"Please. We could utilize the pool that's just sitting in the backyard waiting to have some people in it," she says through the pout.

So, I need to invite Quinn over in order to get my girlfriend into a bikini? This sounds convoluted... I've been reading the dictionary.

"Come on, I bet her house is awful."

Christ! She's relentless!

"Okay! We can invite her over. Ay dios mio, babe."

"Yay!"

Seriously?

She hands me back my phone and says, "Text her and tell her that we don't really have any plans but we'd love it she came over for a swim... and maybe dinner?"

Clearly that was a question directed at me.

You know what? It's her house. I'm not even cooking. She can ask Leroy.

"You should ask Leroy if he's making enough for six," I say and start typing out a message back to Quinn.

**To Q:  
><strong>Hey. No plans today. Rach wants you to come over to swim.

That's probably not the most tactful message.

"Okay, I'll go ask him," Rachel says and then jumps off the couch, heading for the kitchen.

**From Q:  
><strong>Rachel wants me to come over?

This is one of those moments that I wish you could hear a person's inflection through a text message. There are so many ways that this could go:

1. She's surprised that Rachel, after everything that Quinn has put her through, wants Quinn at her home.  
>2. She's upset that <em>only<em> Rachel wants her to come over and not me.  
>3. She wasn't prepared to be invited to the Berry Household and expected something like another movie.<br>4. SHE'S IN LOVE WITH MY GIRLFRIEND.

Was that last one too much?

"He said it's fine. He's making too much food anyways," Rachel says as she makes her way back to her corner of the sectional.

Great.

"Okay. Papá will be happy to see her," I say as I stare at Quinn's response to my message.

I need to think of something to smooth this over. Rachel really wants Quinn here and somehow it's up to me to get her here. I think I'm going to pick option 2 and respond as if that's how she's feeling.

**To Q:  
><strong>I want you here 2. Please. There's dinner involved.

Okay, so I'm suffering from "I have no idea what to say" syndrome. I can't really help it. Quinn and I haven't exactly been besties lately. And by lately, clearly I mean for like, two years. I told her I wanted her baby to look like a lizard. Honestly, I was just mad that she slept with Puckerman.

And now Rachel wants to be friends with her. Seriously, what is happening?

**From Q:  
><strong>With Rachel's Dads?

"What did she say?" Rachel asks leaning into me and trying to read the screen.

"She hasn't really said anything. I don't think she was expecting to be invited over," I answer fairly honestly.

**To Q:  
><strong>My Dad is going to be at dinner 2.

**From Q:  
><strong>Oh, I don't want to intrude...

"Oh give me that!" Rachel yells snatching the phone from me.

"What are you gonna say?" I ask, a little worried about what she's going to say to Quinn.

"I'm telling her to get her ass over here or I'm coming to her house to drag her out," Rachel huffs as she types furiously.

I actually believe that she will do that if Quinn says "no."

"Here," she says slamming the phone onto my thigh.

"She isn't even here and you're mad," and super hot. I suddenly _really_ wish that Leroy and Hiram weren't home today. Oh and we would totally have time for a quickie before Quinn got here... if she ever says yes.

Dammit!

I'm just going to check out what Rachel wrote to her...

**To Q:  
><strong>Quinn Fabray, you get your butt to my house right now with a bathing suit and towel or I will personally come to yours and drag you out.

**To Q:  
><strong>By your hair!

Holy shit! I really hope she recognizes that was Rachel and _not_ me.

Well I guess we're going to find out:

**From Q:  
><strong>Okay Rachel! I'll be there in 20**.**

That might be one of the funniest things I have ever witnessed! I'm pretty much rolling on the sectional with laughter.

Oh and like I said, totally have time for a quickie.

"What?" Rachel asks and then grabs the phone from my weakened fingers. "Good!" she huffs after she reads the text.

"You're really sure about this?" I ask only slightly hoping that she'll suddenly change her stubborn mind.

"Positive."

That's what I thought.

* * *

><p>Rachel doesn't own a bikini! All she has are one pieces! I don't understand. I mean, clearly I'm biased and think she's hot no matter what she's wearing, but she has a really great body. I was figuratively smacked in the face with it that day I came over to rehearse our duet.<p>

Why wouldn't she want to show off her abs? She works out for a reason. Shouldn't she be proud of the body she has?

I don't even think I _own_ a one piece.

Like, what even is a one piece?

Oh.

That's a one piece.

I'm just gonna stand here at Rachel's door for a minute and gape at her... one piece.

"Do you like it?" Rachel asks me when she sees that I'm blatantly staring at her.

"What's a word that means I more than love it?" I ask without taking my eyes off of all of the skin that her "one piece" was showing me.

The neckline... do bathing suits have a neckline?... whatever... the neckline plunges in between her breasts and stops at a point just above her belly button. When she turns around, all you can see are a couple of strings and back. I'm not the biggest fan of the color pink (we all know) but looking at on her right now, I could totally learn to love it.

"I don't think that word exists," Rachel says as she walks up to me, "I will say that _I_ more than love this on you." She slowly reaches out and slides her finger down from the string between the cups of my top to the top of my bottoms. "You always look so sexy in red," she says and then gets on her tip toes to kiss me.

"Too bad Quinn'll be here soon," I say and then kiss her again.

"Now Santana, you know we can't have sex when my Dads are freely wandering around the house," Rachel says to me as if I just tried to eat cookies before dinner.

She thinks she has jokes, "Well, why did you let them out of their cages then, huh, Rach?"

She giggles at my joke and I can't help but laugh with her. She's totally contagious.

And then the doorbell rings, ruining everything.

"Ladies, the door!" I hear Leroy call up to us.

"Ready?" Rachel asks with her big encouraging smile.

With my hand on my hip I say to her, "You aren't really giving me a choice."

"Nope. Let's go," she says and starts walking out of her room. She grabs my hand as she passes me in the doorway and drags me down the hall to the front stairs. I don't think she realizes that we're answering the door with _a__lot_ of skin showing.

Rachel gets to the door before I do... of course... and tugs it open as soon as she gets to it.

"Hey Quinn!" she says all excited when she sees our new blonde bestie on the other side of the doorway.

"Umm... hi..." Quinn says through her drool.

Seriously? Am I really going to to have to deal with this ALL DAY?

I step in front of Rachel a little bit to partially block her from Quinn's blatant leering, "Hey Q."

"Uh... hey Santana..."

Wait. Now what is she staring at... oh.

Me.

Well, this just got a little more awkward.

Rachel gives me a slight push, so that I'm out of her way and moves a half a step closer to Quinn, "Well, it's silly for you to be standing on my porch when we invited you over to swim-"

"Oh I'm not swimming..." Quinn interrupts, taking her eyes off of whatever she was staring at then and shooting them up at Rachel's eyes. Finally.

"Why aren't you going to swim with us, Quinn?" Rachel asks as she crosses her arms she pouts. It looks a little different than the one she gives to me. I suddenly have this feeling she knows how well that specific pout works on me.

Anyways, back to the problem at hand: Quinn doesn't want to swim... and she's still standing on the porch.

"Well, even if you aren't gonna swim, you could still come in the house. It's not like you've never been here before," I say and punctuate the ending with an eye roll.

"You two have been standing in the doorway the whole time, I can't really get in the house," Quinn snarks at us. Seems like she finally found her footing.

I move aside and extend my arm saying, "Please proceed."

I watch her as she passes through the doorway and through both Rachel and me into the main hall. I'm like staring at her. Clearly not in like a sexual way, but in a "if you even so much as glance at my girlfriend and her hot body again, I will cut you" sort of way. She kept her eyes in front of her the whole time. Rachel must have been watching me, though, because as soon as Quinn was past us, she stepped over to me and pinched my arm. When I whipped my head to her she simply scowled at me and it was obvious what that was for.

"You must be Quinn!" I hear Hiram say from the stairs, "I recognize you from all of the Glee Club performances."

"Your Dads come to the performances?" Quinn says to Rachel as if Hiram wasn't even there.

"We've been to all but two," Hiram answers.

Rachel finishes by saying, "They were out of town for our less than fabulous showing at A Night of Neglect and neither one of them could get enough time off of work to come to New York."

"How come I've never seen them before?" Quinn asks still, clearly surprised at what she's learning.

"Well," a deep voice comes in from the living room doorway, "our babygirl is a little touchy when it comes to interaction with anyone she isn't going to be onstage with."

"She's a little superstitious, if you will," Hiram continues.

I look over at Rachel and see that she is blushing uncontrolably. It's adorable. I've never heard this before. We weren't even friends during Regionals and like Rachel said, they weren't at Nationals. So, I'm pretty intrigued right now. Especially if this is how she's reacting when the story hasn't even been told yet.

"Umm... superstitious?" Quinn asks. She turns and looks back at Rachel and me. I shrug at her and Rachel isn't even looking up. She's staring at the floor.

Both Leroy and Hiram let out small laughs and give each other looks that are clearly deciding who should tell the story.

Leroy wins.

This story has to be good!

"Let's all go in the kitchen. I cut up some apples and put out the organic peanut butter," Leroy says as he gestures towards the kitchen.

We all start moving that way, but my smart ass mouth says, "Because we're preschoolers..."

"The Chef gets none," Leroy snaps back at me and then continues leading us all through the living room and into the kitchen.

Hiram meets us there from the back stairs and when he gets over to me he says, "Keep up the sass," and holds out his hand behind his back for me to slap it.

After everyone but me grabs some apple slices and peanut butter and is sitting down at the island, Leroy begins his tale, "Once upon a time in a land of tap shoes and tiaras-"

"Are you really going to tell them like that?" Rachel huffs.

"Yes," L answers back and continues, "Once upon a time in a land of tap shoes and tiaras, a little seven year old girl, the light her fathers' eyes, was preparing for the competition of her life. Well, of her seven years of life. As her fathers were sitting down in the audience, her Daddy realized that his babygirl didn't have her lucky ribbon. "How did he know that?" you ask. It was tied to his wrist."

"Daddy do you really have to tell this story?" Rachel whined.

"Quinn asked..." Hiram says to her and grabs for another apple slice.

I find her hand under the island and say, "I want to hear it too," in the sweetest voice I can make.

Rachel rolls her eyes and huffs, allowing L to continue with the story again, "In a panic, the seven year-old's Daddy, excused himself through the aisle and made a bee line for the backstage area. He had no idea where his babygirl would be. He knew that even at seven she already had a pre-competition ritual and it involved the lucky ribbon that he had around his wrist. After searching high and low for his little girl, he finally found her behind a running curtain watching her competition on the stage. 'Babygirl,' I whispered to her. 'Daddy! What are you doing back here? You know that once the competition starts parents aren't allowed back here anymore because of Becky's crazy mom.' After her Daddy laughed at his adorable, filterless daughter, he answered her question, 'I have your lucky ribbon.' The little diva crossed her arms and scrunched her face, saying, 'No you don't Daddy, I do.' Then she turned around and pointed to a bright red ribbon holding her half ponytail in place. Well, the little girl's Daddy was quite baffled, but he kissed his daughter, wished her a broken leg and returned to sit down with her Papa-"

"Oh, I hate this part of the story," H says looking between Quinn and me. We're sitting on opposite sides of the island.

"Well," Leroy continued once again, "the little diva's fathers watched their daughter tap her way through a perfect routine. They sat on the edge of their seats as the top two girls in the age bracket stood next to each other and waited to hear who was number one. They were sure it was going to be their little girl, it always was. Except this time. For the first-"

"And last!" Rachel pipes in.

"And last time, the little diva came in second place. She stormed off the stage ripping her lucky ribbon out of her hair and throwing it as best as anyone can throw a ribbon, at the stage floor. Her fathers got up immediately and headed for the backstage area to find her before anything really terrible could happen. They found her in the dressing area throwing her things into her bag and crying. When she saw her fathers, she grew angry. 'This is all your fault!' she screamed at her Daddy, 'if you had never come back here with that fake lucky ribbon this would have never happened! You ruined my whole ritual!' The little diva picked up her bag and started walking out of the backstage area, 'Well, are you coming? You both know that I can't drive!' she yelled back to her shocked fathers. On the drive home her fathers gave her a lecture about sportsmanship and poise. All they had to do was tell her that Barbara never threw fits and she was sold. However, ever since, her fathers have not gone to visit her backstage before a performance. No one likes to be a jinx."

"The end," Rachel huffed out.

Quinn and I both burst out laughing. That is the least surprising story I have ever heard! Of course she stormed off the stage when she lost. Of course she told Leroy that he was a jinx. In nearly ten years Rachel hasn't changed very much. Okay, I take that back, she has changed, at least in the last year or so. Minus sending Sunshine to a crack house...

"I don't think we actually introduced you to my Dads, Quinn," Rachel says and then purses her gorgeous lips. I'm refraining from molesting them with my own lips.

Choking back her laughter, Quinn says, "Oh yeah, we got so involved with the story it never happened."

"Well, I'm Hiram," H says extending his hand to Quinn, "and this is my gorgeous 'life partner' Leroy." He actually put air quotes around "life partner." I think it's because he isn't really a big fan of the term. He thinks it sounds silly. So do I. We had a whole conversation about it one day when only the two of us were home one Sunday afternoon.

As she shakes Leroy's hand, she says to them, "It's really nice to meet you both."

Then the door bell rings. It has to be Papá!

"I'll get it!" I yell as I sprint though the kitchen and into the living room. I get to the door and waste no time flinging it open. I yell, "Papá!" as soon as I see that it's him and throw myself at him.

"It's good to see you, too, Míja, pero, why are you not wearing clothes..." he says as I cling to him for dear life.

Oh. Right. Bikini.

"We were going to go swimming..." I say through a slightly nervous smile as I release him from my grip.

"Cris!" a voice booms from behind me. Saved by Leroy.

"I'm gonna go change."

I turn around and let the Dads have bro time in the hallway. I intercept Rachel on my way to the kitchen and thell her, "Let's change before you say hi to my dad. I'm actually surprised L didn't say anything."

"He was too busy telling the story. He gets pretty involved in what he's telling," Rachel says as we get to the top of the stairs and then something hits her, "We left Quinn in the kitchen!" She turns around and runs back down the stairs.

I try to listen in on whatever they might be saying, but I don't think they're saying anything. In less than twenty seconds Rachel is barreling back up the stairs with Quinn right behind her. Rachel probably pulled her off of her stool and dragged her to the stairs.

"This is my room and that's Santana's," Rachel says as we get to the part of the hallway where our doors are and pointing to the corresponding ones.

"Umm... could I use your bathroom," Quinn asks in that shy voice that I am soooo not used to.

"Yeah, sure. It's the next door on the right," Rachel answers and points.

"Thanks," Quinn says and ducks her head down before she starts walking to the bathroom.

"See you in two seconds," Rachel says with a kiss to my lips.

"Can't wait, gorgeous," I say through smile and simultaneously we turn towards our respective rooms.

Hmmm... I'm thinking sweatpants and a tank top are in order for this evening. I'm also not removing my bikini. Why would I do that?

"Hey," I hear the familiar voice of a blonde that isn't my best friend.

"Hi," I say looking up from my dresser.

"So, your Dad's here?" Quinn asks awkwardly.

"Yeah, he just got back from St. Louis. Some big brain surgeon thing," I answer as I grab a pair sweatpants that I'm positive I accidentally stole from Puckerman; they're gigantic.

"Does he come here for dinner often?"

Jesus! Twenty questions much?

"Yeah, umm... once a week since I moved out of my house and into here."

"Oh..." I hear her take a deep breath and as I'm pulling my tank top over my head she asks, "Why are you guys being so nice to me?"

"What?" I ask because I really didn't expect such a sudden change of subject. There was like no segue whatsoever.

"You and Rachel! Why are you two being nice to me? I really don't deserve it," she's almost yelling.

Well, she asked for it, "You know what? You're right! You don't deserve it! If I had things my way, this wouldn't be happening, not so soon, anyways, but this is all Rachel. I didn't deserve her forgiveness either, but she gave it to me and I've never been happier. She's just a much better person than she gets credit for. You should just take it, okay?"

"So then why are _you_ being nice to me?" she asks with her arms crossed and leaning on my dresser.

My answer to that is simple, "Because I'd do anything for her." Just as I began saying that, Rachel appeared in the doorway. I'm glad she heard it. I've said it to her before but never in front of someone like Quinn. Not that I don't think she believes it or anything, but I think this makes it pretty damn real. And just to really seal it up, "And I love her. So if I have to be nice to Juno-" cue glare from Rachel, "I mean you, I'll do it. For her. Besides, we used to be really close, remember?" There's that soft side of me that shows up every once in a while.

"Yeah, I do. And you did kind of rescue me from that... umm... episode."

"You see," Rachel comes into the room, startling Quinn, "we can definitely do this. I mean, I sincerely believe that the reason we were always so at odds with each other was because we were both always vying for Finn's attention as a love interest. Seeing as I'm no longer into cavemen, or men at all for that matter, a friendship between us should most definitely be possible."

"I love your long-winded explanations," I say through my 'I love you' smile.

"I guess I'll just have to get used to them," Quinn said through the first smile I've seen on her face since the story that Leroy told us.

"Ladies! Soups on!" Leroy calls up to us.

"What's for dinner?" Quinn asks as we get to the top of the stairs.

"I think Daddy made chili...?" Rachel answers with clueless look and a shrug.

"Oh, so soup is _literally_ on," Quinn snarks.

You know, when Quinn isn't using her wit to put people down, it's pretty fucking great. I think I'm getting a glimpse of what things could be like.

"¡Aye dios mio! Is that Quinn Fabray?" Papá says the second he sees Quinn, "I haven't seen you in... I think... two years!"

"Things have been quite tumultuous," Rachel says with a smile to Quinn who looked as though she hadn't a clue what to say.

"Uhh yeah, I've been avoiding the people I respect the most," Quinn says with a blush.

Wait! What? Did she just say she respects my Dad?

"You didn't have to avoid me, Quinn, I know you were pregnant last year. I also know that life happens. I respect people no matter what happens to them," Papá says to Quinn. She has no idea what just hit her.

I nudge her as I'm walking by and say, "Isn't he like the best thing since sliced bread?"

I look up and I see Hiram and Leroy looking at each other. Then as if it all just clicked, they both turn their heads towards Quinn and Hiram says, "You gave your baby to Rachel's birth mother."

And there it is: the elephant that _wasn__'__t_ in the room.

I'm gonna give a little run down of the faces that I'm seeing in this room:

Hiram: Looks like he realizes that he just opened up a gigantic can of worms and keeps swallowing down nothing. I now realize where Rachel's lack of a filter comes from.

Leroy: He clearly can't believe that Hiram _actually_ said it. I mean clearly they were both thinking it, but he wasn't going to say anything.

Papá: Totally feels for Quinn. He's one of those people that lets all of emotions show on his face. That's why I can't lie to him. He looks concerned and sad and I think a little angry all at once.

Rachel: She's absolutely mortified. Clearly she's the one who told them. I can't even imagine what life was like in the Berry household when all of _that_ was going down.

Finally, Quinn: All I see are trapped tears. No one's talked about this. It's like it never happened. I mean, yeah, I've made a few preggers jokes here and there, but no one has ever really talked about her giving Beth up. We don't even recognize that the baby's name is Beth.

She must be reeling inside.

I actually feel terrible.

"I did," Quinn finally chokes out.

"You don't have to talk about it, Quinn," Rachel says extending her hand out and touching Quinn's shoulder. Then she shoots H an absolutely terrifying glare. I never ever want that aimed at me.

"I'm sorry! I shouldn't have said anything," Hiram clearly feeling awful that he just brought that up.

"It... it's okay," Quinn says. I don't think it really is, though.

After a few moments of unbearable awkward silence, Papá breaks into it with, "So, what's for dinner?"

Mi héroe.

Leroy jumps to the occasion and answers, "Chili con vegan carne!"

Quinn quirks her eye brow up and I take the opportunity to quell the fear that popped into her head over potentially not liking dinner, "You can't even tell the difference. They're these vegan 'beef' crumbles that work out perfect in chili. I promise."

"Well, thanks to Cris, the table is all set and we're ready to eat in the dining room," Leroy says leading us all to where dinner is being served.

I think this might be the first time in Rachel's life that every seat at the dining room table is filled. I only know this because she told me once that she loved when my Dad came over for dinner because it made the table full and she'd never had that before. I feel like as much as she loves her dads, she wishes she had a big family.

"Tana?"

"Sí, Papá?"

"You didn't take your trophies down from the attic and put them in your room, did you?" Papa asks with this kind of weirded out on look on his face.

"Ummm... when would I have done that? Actually, I didn't even know they were in the attic," I say with a shrug.

"Hmmm..."

"Am I the only one wondering what's going on right now?" Quinn pipes in from across the table with her eyebrow quirked up like Quinn always does.

"Nope," Rachel answers and gives me quite the inquisitive look.

As if I know what's going on?

"Your mother must have done it," Papá finally says, "they're all out of the boxes and set on your naked mattress."

"Umm... which ones?" I ask. In my seventeen years of living I've racked up my fair share of trophies from a numerous amount of activities.

"All of them," Papa answers.

"Even the karate ones?"

"ALL of them."

"Wow, she hated that I was taking karate."

"No she didn't Mija-"

"Yeah she did. She wouldn't stay in the class like everyone else's moms would!"

At that I catch Rachel's eyes. I've never told her this before. I know I'm gonna get a million questions later.

"Anyways, Mija, I think she's cracking," he says and takes hold of my hand.

I look down at our hands and then up diagonally across the table at Quinn who's forming a "w" with her lips. I mouth "later" to her and the "w" disappears.

I'm not even sure I want to tell Quinn. Hmm... maybe she'll forget in an hour or so from now.

* * *

><p>The Berry's have this crazy well lit backyard with a deck, a pool and a gazebo. Seriously, I feel like the only thing missing is a hot tub. I don't think that's the Berry's style though.<p>

We're finally swimming. Good, I need some exercise. I have been far too lazy since school got out.

I dive in fully expecting at least Rachel to follow me. When I get back up to the surface both Rachel and Quinn are staring at me with their arms crossed across their chests.

"So, what's with you and your Mom?"  
>"You took karate when you were little?"<p>

Those were at the same time, by the way.

"Ummm..." okay how can I stall these at least a little bit. Oooo I know, "I'll answer your questions if you get in the pool with me. Both of you. Come in and your question gets answered."

I might not have to answer Quinn's question.

Rachel jumps in almost instantly. She lands like, right in front of me and even with her tiny body she still created a slight tidal wave. After I open my eyes, I see that Quinn is debating in her head whether or not this is worth it.

"I knew you'd be in here in a second, babe," I say to Rachel when she pops up in front of me.

She gives me a quick kiss and then says, "I want my answer."

"Yes."

She looks at me with a 'go on' expression.

"You asked me if I took karate when I was little and I did, so the answer to your question is yes."

I hear Quinn snicker and then there's a wave of water in my face. "You know I meant more than that!"

"You should have phrased your question better," I say rubbing and blinking my eyes. Rachel just gives me her little reprimanding scowl. "I started gymnastics and karate at the same time when I was five. I really loved them both, like a lot. I quit karate when I was seven, though and started taking dance, that's when and where I met Brittany. We were in the same hip hop class."

"Why did you quit karate?" Rachel asks with a sad face.

I shake my head and breath out a little laugh, "All the girls in my gymnastics class made fun of me doing something that only boys should do. I _was_ the only girl in my class, so I figured they must be right. So, even though I was better than all those boys in my class, I quit not long after I got my purple belt. My Mom was, like, all for me quitting karate and taking dance classes instead. It was bad enough that I loved the Green Lantern and the Power Rangers so much when I was little, she didn't need her daughter in karate with a bunch of boys to influence her, too."

Splash.

Quinn's in the pool.

"My question," she asks when she comes up for air.

Shit.

I look to Rachel and she gives me an encouraging smile.

Oh fine!

"Remember the day that Rachel and I didn't come into school, but still came to Glee Club?"

"The day that you took down Finn like he was, like, one of those tacky inflatable lawn decorations because he was hitting on Rachel... again?" Quinn says pretty nonchalantly.

I laugh a little bit and then say, "Yeah, that day." I take a deep breath and then start, "That morning..." Rachel grabs my hand when she senses my hesitation, I look at her and then continue, "that morning, my mother came barreling into the house screaming for me. Rachel and I were in my bed and not... umm... and..."

"You were naked, I get it. Tell the story," Quinn pushes.

Jeez.

"We didn't have enough time to get dressed and the door was unlocked, so she busted in on her half naked daughter with her fully clothed girlfriend. The kicker: Rachel's underwear was on the floor. She wouldn't even listen to me; she just told me that I wasn't her daughter and that Rachel was this disgusting thing in her house. I totally lost it. I couldn't breathe, I couldn't see, I could barely feel anything around me and then Rachel pulled me out. We told Schue about it when we got to the school for Glee Club..."

"Finn hitting on Rachel and calling you a slut really didn't help matters did it?" Quinn asks interrupting the trance that I've been in while telling her this.

"Not at all."

"When did you move out of your house?" Quinn asks as she gets to the shallow end where Rachel and I have been standing. Like I said before, the backyard is really well lit when all the lights are on and I can tell that Quinn genuinely wants to know. She actually cares. I haven't seen Quinn look like this in a _long_ time.

"Officially? The day she hit me..."

"I knew that story about the dresser was bull shit. S..."

Then out of nowhere, Quinn is on me. I didn't have time to react to the hug. I'm stiff and I think I'm holding my breath... yup I am, I just let it out. I hear her sniffle in my ear and feel Rachel's hand in mine. Both kind of cause me to relax and then just like Quinn's hug, out of nowhere, tears start rushing down my face.

I feel Rachel move behind me after my tears start. Quinn releases her grip and it allows me to turn around, wrap my arms around Rach and shove my face into her neck. Not long after that Quinn is back to hugging me. I feel her chin on my back and I can still hear her sniffling in my ear. Actually, there's like surround sound sniffling happening, because I think Rachel is tearing up, too.

Usually, I'd absolutely hate a moment like this.

I can't hate this. I need it.

Let's add Quinn Fabray to the roster of Team Santana.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Technically it's still Tuesday so, Happy Glee Day! This story is starting to flow little better in my head so chapters should be coming quicker! Let me know how you felt about this one!**


	6. It Just Happens

Summer Vaca  
>Day 5<p>

Quinn left the Berry house about an hour after "the moment." Breaking out of it was a little awkward. I wasn't letting go of Rachel until I was done crying and I didn't want Quinn to see my face. I know, how vain. Hey, you know me. I think that Rachel was also holding onto Quinn, so _she_ wasn't going anywhere either. I finally stopped crying and lifted my face out of Rachel's neck. As soon as I did that, Quinn backed away from us.

Rachel put her hands on my cheeks and rubbed under my eyes with her thumbs, "Feel better beautiful?"

I nodded, gave her kiss and then turned around to Quinn, "I'm sorry you had to witness that."

"Don't be. You must have needed it if it happened," she said back to me.

"I'm not really in the mood for swimming anymore," I said and then waded my way to the stairs.

We all got out of the pool and went into the house where we all changed into normal clothes. I was suddenly really tired and wanted to go to bed but Rachel isn't one for kicking people out so we watched some TV for like forty-five minutes before Quinn finally decided it was too awkward for her to stay any longer. I also think that I might have been falling asleep in the corner of the sectional. Luckily, Quinn's good at taking hints.

Yesterday, I was supposed to spend some time with Papá, but he got called into the hospital. It's cool, people need their brains and stuff. Instead I spent the day lounging around the pool with Rach. Yep, a boring Sunday.

Today is Monday.

It's 10AM and an elliptical hasn't woken me up.

Actually, Rachel is still in bed with me, which is weird. Not much stops her from ellipticaling it up every morning.

"Ow."

That usually doesn't come out of her mouth very often either.

"Hey, babe, are you okay? You're never in bed this late," I ask and kiss her shoulder. She's in the fetal position facing away from me.

"I just have a stomach ache, San, it'll go away," she says still clutching at her stomach.

"Do you want some, like, Peptobismol or something... or can you not have that... I don't know what's in that stuff, but I can go get you some," I start rubbing her back a little bit and place another kiss on her shoulder.

"You're so sweet... ow," she turns a little bit to look at me, "it'll pass though... ow."

I can barely see her face, but she doesn't look so good and I think she's shivering. I reach my hand out and feel her forehead, "Babe, you're burning up!"

"No I'm not. I'm freezing-"

"Which means you have a fever. Rach, you have to take the blanket off."

"But I'm cold... ooowww... stop it!" she whines as I try to pull the blanket off of her.

"I know you are babe, but the blanket is gonna make your fever worse-"

"Fine!"

Hmmm... something isn't right here. Now, I'm no doctor or anything, but my parents are and I've heard enough and they've taught me enough for me to know that there is definitely something wrong with Rachel right now.

She's going to downplay it though because, god forbid, she's anything but brave for two seconds. I'm going to ask her a bunch of questions and she's gong to lie to me. Well, here we go:

"Rach, where's the pain?"

She turns onto her back, wincing and says, "Here," putting her hand over where her belly button is.

I hate this question, but my parents always asked me it and it actually makes sense, "Okay, on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst pain you've ever experienced, how bad is this pain?"

"I'm fine, San! Ow... it just feels like a regular stomach ache, okay... just a little worse... a four."

I don't think she's telling the truth. It clearly hurts when she moves. "Are you sure it's just a four?"

"Yes! Ow."

Ugh!

"You know, babe, you don't have to act like this with me..."

"Act like what?" she scowls and winces at the same time.

Okay, say this like you care and not like you're angry... even though you are a little angry, you do care... you care more than you're angry.

"Like nothing bothers you. Rach, you're in pain and I can tell. Right now your brave face is only going to make things worse. Babe, I love you, no matter what, okay? I _know_ you're strong and even if you tell me you're in the worst pain you've ever felt, I'm not going to think you're weak. I will never think that you're weak."

Tears start forming in her eyes and she says, "It hurts a lot, San, and it's lower now." She's kind of clutching above her right hip.

Wait, what's there? Or maybe she just has to go to the bathroom...?

"Babe, do you think you might just have to... you know... go?"

"It kinda feels like that but, I don't think so... San, I don't know what's wrong... owww," she rolls over onto her side so that she's facing me, but she's still holding onto her stomach. She's also still shivering... because she has a fever... OH MY GOD!

Flashback to that time I broke my wrist:

There were a lot of people in the ER that day and I was stuck in the hallway because my vitals didn't need to be monitored and they could keep my clothes on me. There was a kid in the room across from my gurney who had stomach pains. He said that they started in his belly button and eventually moved down to near his hip. He said that it was making his back hurt, too. He had appendicitis...

What if she has appendicitis?

"Babe I have to take you to the hospital-"

"What? No!"

"Yes! I'm calling your dads and I'm taking you to the ER. I think you have a appendicitis-"

"No! No, hospital! I have my Triple Threat Camp tomorrow-"

Oh my god!

"If you don't go to the hospital today you'll probably miss more than just tomorrow. I'm taking you to the hospital!"

"But the ER... your moth-"

I grabbed her burning cheeks and kissed her. When I take my lips back I say, "Please. Please let me take you. You're sick and I _need_ you to be better. Please."

She looks at me for a little bit and then says, "Okay. Call Papa first. He'll probably spare you from calling Daddy... hhhmmmph." She's trying to sit up.

I roll off the bed and as I'm getting up I grab my phone off the little table next to Rachel's bed. I go into my contacts and type H into it knowing full well that Hiram is the first number to show up, "Cell or work?"

"Cell."

Send.

As it rings in my ear I ask Rachel, "What do you want to wear to the ER?"

"Your sweatpants, they're in my bottom drawer," she groans out.

"Hey, Santana. What's up?"

"Hi, H... ummm... Rachel... ummm... she isn't feeling very well... I uuuummmm... Ithinkshehasappendicitis!"

Yup, that was five separate words said as one. Well, how do you tell you girlfriend's dad that you think his daughter needs to have a useless organ removed?

"Uuuuh... are you sure?"

"Yeah. She says that her stomach hurts on her lower right side and it kinda feels like she has to... you know..."

"Okay... okay... ummm..."

"I'm going to take her to the ER, but you or Leroy has to come because neither one of us are eighteen..."

"I'll call Leroy. Can I talk to her?"

"Yeah," I walk over to Rachel's side of the bed and hold out the phone to her, "He wants to talk to you."

She takes my phone and says, "Hi Papa."

I hear Hiram say, "Hey sweetie pie. Santana tells me that your tummy hurts?"

"Uh huh."

I walk away so that I can start getting things together for our trip to the hospital. All I hear are Rachel's answers to H.

"Santana said that I do... okay, I'll tell her that's where it is... I know, Papa... I will... I love you, too... see you a little later... bye Papa."

"Can you put these on or do you think you need my help?" I ask her as I get back to her side of the bed with my black WMHS sweatpants that I let her borrow quite some time ago.

"I can do it. I know you want to be dressed in regular clothes for this. Go ahead, beautiful," she says as she takes the pants from me.

I kneel down next to the bed and kiss her forehead... I think it might be even more hot than it was before! "Babe, call for me if you need help, okay?"

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"I promise!"

I kiss her forehead again and then jog to my room. Okay, I showered last night so it isn't entirely necessary for me to do so again. Jeans and a t-shirt. I don't even care. We need to get out of here. Besides, who's going to be in the Emergency Room, anyways?

I shouldn't say that. My life is full of the unexpected.

"San?"

"One minute, babe!"

Okay all dressed in quasi-clean clothes. I'm not really sure when these jeans were washed last, but that's literally the least important thing right now.

I get into Rachel's room and see that she's gotten as far as sitting up and getting her feet onto the floor. Until she sees me and then she let's herself back down onto the bed and groans, "I need your help."

"Okay, babe," I say and walk over to her.

"I want to shower."

"What? No, Rach. They aren't going to care that you haven't showered in twelve hours, at all."

"But-"

"No shower!"

"Fine! At least get me some clean underwear!" she huffs and then starts to try to sit back up. I can't watch her be in pain so I grab her hands and pull her up, "I could have done it myself."

"Without any pain?" I ask. It kind of came out in a patronizing tone. I didn't mean for it to sound like that.

"No, but if you're going to treat me like that I don't want your help at all!" she scoffs and crosses her arms, "Ow."

"I'm sorry, please let me help you. I'm gonna get you some underwear, okay?"

She nods and I head for her closet where she has one of those plastic drawer things filled with underwear. She separates them by style... are you really surprised? I mean mine are just thrown into one drawer in my dresser... not important right now. I'm thinking some normal cotton ones are fine for the occasion in which a nurse is just going to tell her to take _all_ of her clothes off so she can where an adorably embarrassing johnny. I'll give her a few options so she feels like she still has some control of the situation.

"Kay, babe, pick a pair and then you're gonna have to stand up for me to help you with this stuff," I say as I walk back over to my ailing girlfriend.

"The yellow ones," she groans as she tries to get herself up.

I bend down and say, "Put your arm on my shoulder." She sighs, but complies. I wrap my arm around her ribs and lift her up as gently as I can. I'm trying to avoid her lower half as best I can. When she's standing I tell her, "Hold onto me and don't bend down, I'll do the work." She scrunches her face at me and in response I just start pulling her underwear down. One of her hands goes down to cover herself... "Are you serious?"

"Time and place," is all she says to me.

"Whatever! Step out of those... and into these." She isn't moving her hand, "You have to move your hand. I'll close my eyes."

"I can do this without bending," she says to me. She's pretty adamant about this.

"Fine," I say, standing up and backing away a little. As she's putting her underwear on, I grab the sweatpants off the bed and bring them to the floor. I crunch the legs up so that she can step into them and I can pull them up easily. "Ready for your pants?"

"Yes! Stop acting like I'm completely helpless!"

Breathe.

She's just being Rachel.

I don't tell her to step into the legs of the pants, I just hold them out for her to do so. I only lift them up to the base of her butt and shrug for her to take them from me. After she takes them I walk away and go into her closet to find her a bra.

"Oh, now you aren't going to talk to me?"

I don't respond. I just go into the plastic drawer that her bras are in and grab a yellow one so that she matches when has to take all of these clothes off.

"Really mature, Santana."

Once again: Breathe.

I go back over to her and grab the hem of her t-shirt.

"I'll do it. You go be a child somewhere else."

Okay that's it.

"What are you doing?" I finally say to her.

"What are _you_ doing?"

"Helping my sick, stubborn girlfriend put a bunch of clothes on that are just going to come off when she gets into the hospital. You know the longer it takes us to get out of here the worse you're getting. Rach, you're like, on fire! I don't even need a thermometer to know that you're at a dangerous temperature. Just let me help you and get us out of here!"

I didn't yell at her. It was more of a stern tone... with some tears for emphasis.

She grabs my hands and puts them back on the hem of her shirt. "I'm sorry," she says, "help me. You're right, this is bad."

"Thank you," I say and then pull her shirt up over her head. I grab the bra off the bed, stretch it around her and hook it. I let her do the rest and don't even look at her, assuming she wants her privacy for that, too. I grab her t-shirt, roll it up and put it over her head. When she's done putting that on I ask her, "Ready?"

"As I'll ever be."

I crouch down with my back to her and say, "Hop on."

* * *

><p>How does one actually get appendicitis? I feel like it just happens. I mean, it's not like Rachel eats terrible... she's a freakin' vegan! Maybe that's why! Nah, I'm sticking with "it just happens" theory.<p>

There weren't a lot of people in the ER on this Monday morning. You know, just the usual idiot kids that fall out of trees... like Little One! Rach and I walk in and I hear "OH MY GOD! What are you guys doing here?" I knew it was Brittany at "OH." Turns out Lily climbed the big tree in the Pierce's backyard. Luckily she wasn't very high up in the tree when she fell and she's probably only walking away with a sprained ankle. I'm not sure though because they took Rachel in before her.

A nurse took down all of Rachel's information. She took her vitals and asked all the questions. I tried really hard not to laugh when the nurse asked if there was any chance that Rachel could be pregnant. Rachel's temperature was 103.4°! Hold on, let me spell that HER TEMPERATURE WAS ONE HUNDRED AND THREE POINT FOUR DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!

Now, we're sitting in a room in the ER. I'm in a chair that I pulled up next to the gurney that Rachel is in. They haven't made her change her clothes yet and we haven't seen a doctor yet. We aren't really talking, I'm just holding her hand while she lies on her side clutching her stomach.

"Okay. Thanks Susan."

Rachel's eyes pop open and meet mine instantly. We both know that voice and it's right outside the doorway. I must look terrified and I feel like Rach is terrified for me. Her mouth opens as if she's going to say something but it's interrupted by footsteps coming into the room. We both turn our heads to look at person whose voice we know all too well.

Without looking up from the chart, "Good morning Miss... Be... rry..."

My mother looks at Rachel first, then at me, then at our hands interlocked. I squeeze Rachel's hand even harder than I was before. She looks back up at me and then turns around to walk out of the room.

"Mamá!"

"¿Que quiere?" she turns around and spits at me.

"I want you to help her! It's your job!" I say back to her, biting back my urge to scream.

"I-"

"Please, Mamá. Está en mucho dolor. ¡Miras!" I say standing up. I don't let go of Rachel's hand though.

She doesn't say anything, but she does look at Rachel, who isn't looking up at her anymore.

"At least get someone who _will_ help her," I say quietly but with anger, "You're wasting her time."

After a few seconds she finally asks, "What was her temperature when they brought her in?"

Despite the fact that I know the chart says it, I tell her, "One-oh-three point four."

"Okay."

I see her take a deep breath and then she takes a few steps forward. She stops at the foot of the bed and looks down at the chart that's been in her hands. When she's done she hangs it on the foot of the bed and stands there looking at Rachel for a few seconds.

I haven't let go of Rachel's hand this entire time and I haven't taken my eyes off of my mother.

"San, I'm really cold."

I instantly bring my attention to Rachel. I sit down and brush some stray hairs our of her face, "I know, babe. I'm gonna get you some _real_ help soon."

"R-Rachel?" my mother stutters out.

We both direct our attention to my mother.

"I'm... going to do a preliminary exam, but I can't be your doctor-"

"What? Why?" I ask not really thinking and just assuming she doesn't want to.

"It's a conflict of interest, Santana. I actually _can__'__t_ be her doctor," she says, shooting a glance at me.

Oh.

Because I'm her daughter.

And Rachel is my girlfriend.

Is she acknowledging us...?

I'm gonna shut up now.

"Rachel?"

"Yes," Rachel says turning a little bit.

"Can you roll over onto your back for me?"

"I think so," Rachel answers and lets go of my hand so that she can turn over.

"Okay, I'm just going to put a little pressure on the area where the pain is located. Tell me if the pain gets to be too much," my mother says as she hovers her hands over Rachel's stomach. Rachel nods and my mother puts her hands down onto Rachel and starts pushing on her stomach. "Where did the pain start?"

"Near my belly button," Rachel answers through a wince.

"At about what time?"

"Umm... I think around five... thirty... last night..."

"WHAT?" I couldn't stop it!

"I thought it was just a movement! Ow."

My mother's done doing whatever she was doing and she says looking at me, "How did you know that this was appendicitis?"

"I was right?"

"Yes. She still needs to go through all the tests but I'm positive it's going to come back as appendicitis. How did you that's what this was?" she presses on me.

"There was a kid that had it when I was here for my wrist when I broke it," I say like it's nothing and that it wasn't seven years ago.

"¡Ay dios mio! That was seven years ago, Míja..."

What?

"Umm... are your... umm... parents on their way Rachel?" my mother asks, avoiding my eyes that are on her.

I answer, "They should be here soon."

"O-okay. I'm going to get you a new doctor," my mother says and then turns away from the bed and out of the room.

I make eye-contact with Rachel and without even having to say anything to her, she says, "Go. I'm not going anywhere."

"I love you."

"I love you, too, now go before she leaves that station," she says nodding in the direction of the nurses station outside the door.

I look out the door, get up and walk to the doorway, "Mamá?"

She turns around and simply looks at me.

What am I gonna say? Oh god. My brain is a mess.

"Thank you."

"Es mi trabajo," she says flatly.

"Pero podrías haber salido y no lo hizo," I say taking a few steps closer to her.

"Ella está enferma y tú... y tú... cuidas sobre ella," she shakes her head a little and then turns around.

What's happening?

Whatever it is, I'm not gonna push it. Besides, Rach needs me. And there's Leroy.

"Santana! Where's my babygirl?"

I point to the door behind me and watch him power walk his way into the room.

"Babygirl!"

"Hi Daddy."

I turn around and catch my mother's eye, my mother's judgmental eye. One step forward and two steps back.

* * *

><p>Okay, so, clearly Rachel was admitted into the hospital. Because she's under eighteen, she's in the pedes unit. They're pumping antibiotics into her because her blood test came back with high white blood cell count and the sonogram told them that her appendix needs to be out of her body.<p>

Britt, her mom and a hobbling Little One came to visit. Lily was hilarious, as usual. She had Leroy and Hiram cracking up. It's because she's a kid and gets to say almost anything she wants. Brittany was excited to meet Rachel's dad's for the first time because she was convinced they were _always_ on that gay cruise. Okay, so sometimes she isn't the brightest crayon in the box... wait, that isn't a good one for Britts, because of course she's the brightest crayon! Let's say that she isn't the sharpest... no... ummm... she isn't always... the... smartest.

Oh! And when she left she sent everyone in Glee Club including Finn and Mr. Schuester a text saying that Rachel was in the hospital with "appendixitis." At least she got the word almost right.

How do I know this, you ask?

Because she also sent the text to me... and Rachel. I sent her a reply text asking her what she was doing and she said:

From Britt Britt:  
><strong>Making sure that my bff's gf gets all the get well cards and flowers and candy that she should have bc shes sick!<strong>

From Britt Britt:  
><strong>Wait she cant have candy can she...?<strong>

From Britt Britt:  
><strong>Whatevs! I'll make sure that she has A LOT of visitors!<strong>

I'm a little nervous about how she's gonna go about doing this...

I also know that she did this because Kurt, Mercedes and Blaine are already here. I'm positive that there are too many visitors in here right now. Good thing my Dad is like the best doctor in the hospital or this wouldn't be happening.

There aren't enough chairs for everyone, so people are standing around. I'm in the bed with Rach, Leroy and Hiram are in the chairs provided and Klaincedes are just up against the wall parallel to the foot of the bed. AND Rachel isn't even the only person in this room. Her roommate is a seven year-old with a broken femur. Luckily her parents are super cool and aren't upset about all of Rachel's visitors.

"How does a vegan get appendicitis?" Mercedes asks with her tude.

"I think anyone can get appendicitis, Wheeze," I respond and get a little tap from Rachel.

"I think it's all the roughage I consume on a daily basis, Mercedes," Rachel says and gives me a little pinch on my thigh. It's a flirty pinch.

I'm glad that even when she's sick as a dog, she's still flirting with me. It's cute. Like, really cute, actually. I'd kiss her if her dads weren't in the room.

"So, when's the operation?" Blaine asks from the corner of the room.

"Tomorrow morning," Rachel answers, "they have the antibiotics going so I should be okay until then."

"But she can't eat or drink anything until after the operation," I add.

"WHAT?" Mercedes shouts, then she looks at Kurt and goes, "I'm never getting appendicitis."

"I don't think you get a choice when it happens," a voice from outside the room says. I know exactly who's voice that is. Within seconds a sun dress clad Quinn tip toes into the room to join the crowd. "Hey Rachel, hey... everyone."

"Hi, Quinn," Rachel says with her million dollar smile. She looks genuinely happy to see her. I think I might be, too.

"I got a text from Brittany saying that you were here. How are you feeling?" Quinn asks and awkwardly tries to find a place to stand within the crowd.

"Well, since they started administering antibiotics, I feel much better. I'm starting to get slightly peckish, however, and as Santana said before, I can't eat anything," Rachel wordily answers.

"Can you chew gum?" Kurt asks.

"What?" I ask. Like, who thinks of that?

"You know what? I'm gonna go ask a nurse," Hiram says jumping up from his seat.

"I'm going to come with you!" Leroy adds and stands up as well.

We all watch them walk out and then Rachel says, "They aren't used to this many teenagers in one place." She kind of ducks her head down and shakes it a little bit. I think that was a subtle way of saying that they aren't used to her having friends. The arm that I've had around her shoulders this whole time is squeezing her a little tighter. I even throw in a kiss to the top of her head for good measure.

"Have I ever told you two how adorably gross you are?" Mercedes asks and then gets a text message or something... yeah it's a text message.

I bet it's from a certain Trouty Mouth!

Weird.

"Hey, Rach, I think we're gonna get going," Kurt says as he grabs Blaine's hand, "We promised my Dad that we'd have dinner with him tonight."

Rachel smiles and says, "Thank you so much for coming. I wasn't really expecting anyone to visit me, it's a pretty common ailment."

"Oh come on, Rachel, we love you... even if you are a little selfish sometimes and do crazy things to people... not the time..." she fades out when she catches a glimpse of the death glare I'm giving her, "I'm going to head out, too."

"We'll be back tomorrow, okay hun?" Kurt says as hugs Rachel.

"Yeah, after your surgery," Blaine says from the foot of the bed.

"Okay," Rachel says with a big beautiful smile.

"Break a leg," Mercedes says when she gets her turn to hug Rachel, "I know you'd be all pissed if I had said good luck."

Through a tiny laugh, Rachel returns, "This is a little different than a stage performance, Mercedes, but I graciously accept your wish."

"Even when you're sick you have a lot to say," Wheezy says as she heads for the door.

"Bye guys!" I say waving to them as they back out of the door.

"So, how long did it take you get her to come here?" Quinn asks when she's sure that Klainecedes is gone.

"Well, we woke up at about 10 and we didn't get here until about 11:30," I say to Quinn but I'm looking at Rachel by the time I'm done saying it.

"Are they gone?" I hear Hiram say from the door. Quinn nods and then he and Leroy walk back into the room.

"We got you every flavor of gum the gift shop had, babygirl," Leroy says producing a bag full of packs of gum from behind his back, "I personally want to the try the apple pie flavored one."

Rachel giggles as she takes the bag from L, "Thanks Daddy. Thanks Papa. Gum anyone?"

"Got any watermelon flavored?" I ask peeking into the bag.

"Spearmint?" Quinn asks.

"Hmmm... check and check," Rachel says she pulls out a lime green pack and a regular green pack, "And here's the apple pie gum Daddy wanted."

"Thanks, babygirl."

"You know, I think we should be thanking Santana. If she wasn't so darn smart and pushy, our little girl would probably still be at home clutching her belly in pain," Hiram says and I can feel my face getting pink.

"I just have a good memory," I say ducking my head down a little.

"Oh please, don't act like you aren't a secret genius!" Quinn jumps in, "I saw your SAT scores! You got a 1980 without even studying!"

"It needs to be higher," I mumble.

"And we're gonna study together, right, beautiful? NYU isn't going to know what hit them," Rachel says nudging into me, "Ow."

"Be careful, babe."

"Mercedes is right, adorably gross," Quinn says and then looks at the clock on the wall, "Wow, it's quarter to eight already?"

"I guess so," Hiram says also looking down at his watch.

"You two don't have to go you know, it's pedes, parents get to stay all night," I say to them.

"We know, but..." Leroy starts with hesitation, "we figured that you might want to stay here with her tonight."

I cannot believe that Leroy was the one to say that to me. _Leroy_. He's the one who's always like "hands off my babygirl!" or "you two better be three cushions away from each other!"

"So, we're going to go home, knowing that our daughter is with someone that cares about her," H says as he gets up from the chair he's been sitting in. He kisses me on the top of my head and then circles around the bed and kisses Rachel's cheek, "We'll be here bright and early tomorrow, okay darling?"

"Okay, Papa."

Leroy walks over to Rachel and kisses her on the cheek as well. He looks up at me and says, "No funny business," and walks away from the bed. Hiram takes his hand when Leroy gets to him and he says, "Bright and early, babygirl."

"Okay, Daddy."

"Thank you for visiting her, Quinn. It was wonderful seeing you," Hiram says and after Quinn smiles and blushes he and Leroy wave one more time to all of us and walk out of the room.

"I should probably head out, too," Quinn says standing up off of the wall she's been leaning on, "Could I come and visit tomorrow?"

Why is she asking?

"Of course you can, Quinn! Why would you even feel like you had to ask?" Rachel says with a little laugh, "We're friends."

I don't think Quinn expected that come out of Rachel's mouth.

I didn't expect that to come out of Rachel's mouth.

"Oh... okay... ummm... I'll be here tomorrow, then," Quinn says through her blush.

"Come here!"

Quinn doesn't move.

"I'm going to hug you, but I'm not really allowed to leave this bed, so you need to come to me," Rachel says after she rolls her eyes. She's spending too much time with me.

"Oh..." Quinn utters and then pretty much tip toes her way over to Rachel. I watch as Rachel grabs Quinn's hand and yanks her down to her. Sneaky.

When the hug is over Rachel says, "See, now that wasn't so bad was it?"

Quinn just laughs and shakes her head.

"See you tomorrow, Q," I say.

"See you tomorrow."

* * *

><p>I can't sleep. Exhaustion finally smacked Rachel in the face and she's snuggled up to me sound asleep. I have the TV on and she's here snoring away. She doesn't snore very loud. It's little and cute. I wouldn't be able to fall asleep without it. I mean, granted I can't fall asleep right now, anyways, but still.<p>

Hmm... is that the door opening? Do nurses check in during the night. It isn't really that late, maybe they just assume Rach is awake because she's sixteen and sixteen year-olds don't fall asleep at 9:30. Even when they're sick.

"Hola," I hear a quiet familiar voice.

What is she doing here? What should I do? Should I pretend I'm asleep? Should I talk to her? Aaah! I have like, a millisecond!

Ummm...

"Hi, Mamá," looks like I made my decision.

"Is she...?"

"Sí. It's been a long day."

I can barely see her because the room is dark and the TV is shining in my face, but I _know_ that she's looking at us up and down. Rachel is asleep and I'm holding her.

"¿Su padre viene abajo?" she asks fiddling with the chart at the foot of Rachel's bed.

"Sí. Que realmente le gusta Rachel...y él lo admite," I whisper through my pounding heart. That might wake Rachel up.

"Yo sé."

That's it. She knows. Well no shit she knows! If I wasn't holding Rachel right now, I'd be right in her face.

"Sé que te apoya, Mija y yo... y estoy tratando."

Holy. Fucking. Shit.

I think my heart just stopped beating.

"Tienes que entender que esto es difícil para mí, Míja. Toda mi vida me ha enseñado que esto," she gestures to Rachel and me, "es un pecado, pero tú eres mi hija y te amo. Y esto es lo que eres..."

I can't even breathe. Where is this coming from? I... I... I don't even know.

"Yo no quiero perderte para siempre."

I can't respond. I don't even know if I have control of my lungs, never mind trying to say something to her.

"Dile que le deseo buena suerte en su operación de mañana," she says to me and then turns around, walking out of the room.

Suddenly, I feel the arm that Rachel has had around my waist, tighten and I hear a tired, raspy voice say, "Breathe."

"She..." I start but the tears building in my throat stop it.

"I know, beautiful," Rachel says looking up at me and kissing my cheek.

"You heard it all?" I sniffle out.

"And I understood most of it," she says with a smile and with the light from the TV flashing on her face, I can see a couple tears falling down her cheeks.

"I love you so much, Rachel," I say wiping her tears away with my thumbs.

"Y te amo, Santana. Mucho mucho," she says with a giggle.

I laugh a little with her, but I let it die. I think of something that kills my laughter, "I still think there's a long way to go with her..."

"She's headed in the right direction, though. Look at it that way. She wants to understand, it's just difficult for her and she knows it. Time. That's what she needs," she says to me and adjusts her arm so that her hand is now resting on my bare stomach. She yawns really big and says, "I think I need to go back to sleep, though."

"Okay, babe. You have a big day tomorrow, you _should_ sleep," I say and then kiss her forehead.

"Good night, beautiful."

"I love you."

"I love you, too," she says back and I can't help but kiss her.

Well, whenever she speaks it's like her lips are just asking for mine to touch them! I can't turn them down. Ever!

* * *

><p><strong>¿Que <strong>**quiere?** - What do you want?

**Está ****en ****mucho ****dolor. ****¡Miras!** - She's in a lot of pain. Look!

**Es ****mi ****trabajo** - It's my job

**Pero ****podrías ****haber ****salido ****y ****no ****lo ****hizo**- But you could have left and you didn't

**Ella ****está ****enferma ****y ****tú... ****y ****tú... ****cuidas ****sobre ****ella** - She's sick and you... and you... care about her

**¿Su ****padre ****viene ****abajo?** - Did your father come down?

**Sí. ****Que ****realmente ****le ****gusta ****Rachel... y ****él ****lo ****admite** - Yes. He really likes Rachel... and he supports this.

**Sé ****que ****te ****apoya, ****Míja ****y ****yo... ****y ****estoy ****tratando.** - I know he supports you and I... and I'm trying.

**Tienes ****que ****entender ****que ****esto ****es ****difícil ****para ****mí, ****Míja. ****Toda ****mi ****vida ****me ****ha ****enseñado ****que ****esto** - You have to understand that this is difficult for me, Míja. My whole life I have been taught that this

**es ****un ****pecado, ****pero ****tú ****eres ****mi ****hija ****y ****te ****amo. ****Y ****esto ****es ****lo ****que ****eres..**. - is a sin, but you are my daughter and I love you. And this is who you are...

**Yo ****no ****quiero ****perder te ****para ****siempre** - I don't want to lose you forever.

**Dile ****que ****le ****deseo ****buena ****suerte ****en ****su ****operación ****de ****mañana**. - Tell her I wished her good luck in her surgery tomorrow

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Look at this! Less than week has passed and here's an update. It's happening! I'm also utilizing my time better. Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Let me know what you think!**


	7. Nothing Too Vigorous

Summer Vaca  
>Day 13<p>

Rachel's appendectomy was exactly a week ago. For exactly a week, my life has been slightly hellish.

I'm just going to say this: Rachel is determined. Imagine how difficult it is to deal with a determined girl that can't attend the camp that she's been waiting to attend since it ended last summer. They're doing FAME and she's already cast as Carmen. All she can talk about is how great a role it is and how difficult it's going to be. She keeps saying something about Method Acting and if it's what I think it is and if I know anything about this musical from listening to it over and over again, I don't think that she really wants to "get into character" with this one. I don't know from experience or anything but I'm pretty sure that crack really is whack.

I have to wake up at 6AM just so that I can stop her from getting on the elliptical.

I also have to keep turning down her advances, which sucks for both of us. She has to wait! Her doctor actually told her that she couldn't have sex for at least two weeks! It's only been one!

She's just so freaking stubborn!

Luckily, I've had some help. Everyone from glee club has been here at least once, including Finn. I actually welcomed his company.

Puck and Brittany have been here everyday (I guess Brittany's off Lily duty for last week and this week because her mom took them off). They saw how difficult Rachel has been when they came to visit last Wednesday and they decided that I needed their help. Kurt and Mercedes have been here almost just as much. I think they saw how difficult this is for Rachel so they came for support. Finally, our dear friend Quinn has has been here five times. She's been evenly splitting her time between us. I'm thinking she understands that this is difficult for both of us. Quinn's a little more observant than I thought.

Despite how difficult it's been, I don't love Rachel any less. How could I? I understand why she's being difficult. This is all she's ever wanted her entire life and she has to deal with this minor set back.

Oh yeah, I almost forgot... well actually, I didn't forget, I just forgot to mention it; Rachel's birthday is coming up. Like, soon. Like a week and a few days soon. I have a plan... I've had a plan for it, but I'm worried that she won't be able to go. I also haven't had to time to go out and get the gift that I want to get her. So, if you've been paying attention, the plan involves taking her somewhere and a gift. I have to talk to her dads and go to the mall.

My 6AM alarm is about to go off. I'm sure Rachel will figure out how early I've actually been waking up and try to beat me eventually, but for now, I'm good. She has an appointment today with her doctor. Who knows, maybe she'll tell her she can go to Triple Threat Camp on Thursday.

One can only hope.

Hey, 6AM. How are you today?

* * *

><p>"Looks like you are healing up just fine, Rachel..."<p>

Oh thank god!

"... I think you should definitely be able to attend that camp next week."

Crap.

A frustrated Rachel asks, "Not Thursday?"

"Just to be safe, no. Definitely on Tuesday, though," the doctor says as she writes in Rachel's file.

"Well how about the elliptical? Can I start exercising soon?"

"Let me ask you a question: does your stomach ever hurt if you walk up the stairs?" the doctor asks taking her attention away from whatever she's been writing.

"No..."

I shake my head and breathe out one of those throaty sighs.

"What?" Rachel scoffs.

"You groaned when we were walking up the stairs to get up here," I answer matter-of-factly.

"I haven't been exercising! It was little more difficult than usual," Rachel lies. I know she's lying. A week of not exercising doesn't make going up the stairs tiring.

"Whatever."

"Light elliptical... ing," the doctor answers, "nothing vigorous. You'll make sure she doesn't go overboard?" she asks me.

Yeah, sure! She has no idea how difficult that's going to be, "Uh huh."

I can see another question on Rachel's mind. I know exactly what she wants to ask. Being the proper girl that she is, she has no idea how to ask it. I'm not going to. Hmmm... this should be interesting.

"Okay, do you have anymore questions, Rachel?" the doctor asks, closing up the file and getting up from her stool.

"Ummm... actually... yes... just one more," Rachel says balling up the johnny she's wearing.

"Ask away."

"Well, last week after my operation, the surgeon told me that we... well, I... couldn't ummm... partake in... uh..."

Oh my god.

"Sex. She wants to know if we can have sex," I finally spit out for her.

"Umm... oh... you two are... I see," she sits back down and opens up the file again. I have a feeling that she's writing down "sexually active" in Rachel's file. She's in for a treat her next physical.

My bad.

"I think it should be okay, but nothing too vigorous, like the exercising," she says when she's done writing, "and if that's all you have for questions, I will hopefully not see you again until your next physical, Rachel. Even though sick kids give me job security, I don't really like to see them in here when they are."

"Thanks, Dr. Allard," Rachel says hopping off of the table.

The doctor turns around just as she's about to open the door and looks right at me, "How old are you?"

Uuuhhh... "Seventeen," I gulp out.

"Oh, okay. Have a nice day ladies," she says and then walks out the door.

"Why did she ask me how old I was?" I ask Rachel as she pulls her shorts on.

"Statutory rape laws...?" Rachel shrugs.

"Ummm... what? Isn't she like, sworn to confidentiality or something?" I ask without thinking, because I know full well that she has an obligation to report child abuse and whatnot.

"San, don't worry about it. We aren't doing anything wrong. Besides, my birthday is in ten days and then we'll be the same age and it won't even matter. It doesn't matter anyways, I'm sixteen, now! It's those fifteen year olds you have to look out for," Rachel says through a laugh. "Can you untie me?"

"So," changing the subject, "what do you want to do for the rest of the day?"

"Well," she says turning around, "I was thinking..." she lets the johnny fall and her bare chest is right in my face, "... we could do some not so vigorous..." she straddles my legs and sits down, "exercise," finally she leans in kisses me.

Another advance I have to turn down. As much as I'd love to get in on in the doctor's office... what the fuck am I saying? Of course I want to get it on in the doctor's office!

"Stand back up," I husk out as Rachel kisses down my neck, "and take your shorts off."

We can't take too long, that'll be quite suspicious. Rachel can have the fun... I'll just be a little uncomfortable for a bit.

Rachel smiles big and beautiful at my requests. She does both and I'm thinking suddenly that she should probably at least put her shirt on, "Umm... maybe you should put your shirt on, babe."

"No one's going to walk in here, San-"

"Please. Just humor me."

"Fine," she says as she takes her shirt from my hand. After it's over head and on her body, I grab it in my fist and pull her towards me... not too vigorously, of course. She snickers a little bit, then straddles and sits on my legs. "I've wanted this all week," she moans as I kiss her neck and tease her over her underwear.

"You have?" I ask knowing full well that she isn't lying and as I hook my finger on the waistband of her underwear.

"You know it's true," she whispers, then takes my hand and shoves it down, beyond the waistband and underneath the fabric.

Impatient much?

"Do you want me to do this or are _you_ going to do it with _my_ hand?"

Rachel giggles and says, "You were taking too lon-mmm... San..." Her face finds its way into my neck as my fingers find her clit.

"Don't move too much, okay babe?"

"Where am I... mmm... gonna go?"

Okay so my free arm might be wrapped around her back and pretty much holding her down so she _can__'__t_ go anywhere.

"I don't want you to get hurt-"

"I'm fine," she says grabbing my face and then biting down on her lip, "and if you'd just push down a little harder... uh huh... we can go home and... oh god... it'll be your turn."

I have a feeling a little speed won't hurt things either.

"Uh huh, just like that."

"Nothing hurts?"

"Shh... I'm so... close."

Good, because we should probably get out of here. Let me just find that itty bitty spot just under-

"Oh right there. Don't stop... San... don't stop..."

I'm guessing just a couple more pushes up and...

Silence.

And grabbing. Hard.

Ow.

"Is someone still in here?"

Oh shit.

And of course Rachel's laughing.

"Your face is priceless right now."

"We'll be out in a second. There was a slight..." I look around and the first thing I see, "bra issue."

"What?" Rachel whispers.

"Okay, just make it quick."

"It's the first thing I thought of. Get dressed, babe, please."

"I thought I was having bra issues?"

No response. I just have a look for her. Guess what it looks like.

"I love it when you get all frustrated with me! It's so sexy," she says as she maneuvers her bra on under her shirt.

Well, now I'm torn! Do I let her get to me and get all frustrated, which she thinks is sexy, or do I _not_ let her get to me?

Maybe I'll choose my battles...

"Okay, sweetheart, let's go home," she says grabbing my hand. Before she can start pulling and exert more than necessary effort, I stand up and start walking with her towards the door. I've learned to stay at least two steps ahead of her in the last week.

Rachel opens the door and I turn around to make sure that we didn't leave anything behind. You never know with my luck. As we're stepping through the door, I get some hand sanitizer off the thing on the wall. This shit smells like bubble gum! Only a pediatrician would have something like that.

"Bye, Dr. Allard!" Rachel says as we pass her. I look back for some reason and I see her quirk up a questioning eyebrow.

Oops.

This big, stupid grin smacks itself on my face and when we're out of the waiting area and in the hallway, Rachel asks, "Why are you smiling like that?"

I laugh a little and whisper, "You just came in an exam room in your doctor's office."

"A) Public place," she says looking around her to make sure that no one was in ear shot to hear me, "and B) I know. I feel quite rebellious."

"My little rebel," I say scrunching my nose at her while we walk down the stairs, "ouch."

So, turning my head stings a little bit. No biggie.

"What's wrong?" Rachel asks with all of her concern.

"Nothing, babe. Don't worry about it, okay?"

"Don't give me that! You said 'ouch' for a reason!"

Well, she asked for it.

"You kinda, sorta, dug your fingernails into my neck when you did that oh so rebellious thing in the exam room," I say as I pull my keys out of my pocket.

"I what? Oh my god! Let me see!" she stops us just as we get to the mat that you step on the make the doors slide open, so they open but we don't keep going. I bend down a little so that she doesn't start jumping up to see my neck. Two steps ahead. "Oh no! You're bleeding! Well, you aren't really bleeding anymore, but you were! Why didn't you say anything?"

I roll my eyes and start walking again, "It wasn't a big deal. It still isn't. Babe, it's fine. Usually you're able to move a little bit more, but that was all you could do. Besides, that's like, a battle scar; it's something to be proud of," I nudge her a little bit as we get to my car.

She huffs and says, "I'm putting a band-aid on that when we get home."

"Whatever you want, babe."

* * *

><p>"Can vegans not eat animal crackers?"<p>

"I love you Britt, but sometimes..."

"Let me see the package," Rachel says and grabs the bag from Brittany's extended hand.

"I bet they're made with milk," Puck says walking in from the living room.

"Actually, these have whey in them, so yes, they are made with milk," Rachel says and hands the bag back to Brittany.

"Boom! My name's Puck and I'm awesome!"

Eye roll to like, the hundredth degree.

"Oh, I just figured you couldn't eat them because they were shaped like animals," Brittany says with a shrug and stuffs a giraffe in her mouth, "like you can't eat gummy bears."

"No, B, she can't eat gummy bears because of the gelatin that _might_ be made out of pig's feet," Quinn answers as she walks out of the bathroom.

"Ewww! _I__'__m_ not eating gummy bears anymore! Or gummy anything. That's disgusting," Brittany says and closes up the bag of animal crackers.

"Not all gummy foods are made with gelatin. They just have a lot of sugar in them so I avoid them anyways. I'll get my carbs elsewhere thank you very much," Rachel informs the table.

I feel a little nudge at my ribs and of course it's Puck who wants to play video games in the living room. He didn't even have to tell me. He has his, "I'm gonna kick your ass this time" look on his face. It's always wrong.

"Bro time in the living room!" he says as I'm nodding to him.

"Really? 'Bro time?' Who are you?" I scoff as we sit down on the sectional.

"I really just wanted to talk to you about what you're doing for your girl's b-day. It's soon," Puck says as grabbing a controller off of the coffee table.

He knows that Rachel's birthday is soon? How does he... oh right, Temple and baht... no bar... I don't know... something mitzvah. Of course he knows when her birthday is. I bet she knows when his is, too.

I guess there's also Facebook.

"It's a secret."

"What? Come on Bro! You have to tell me!"

"No way! You can't keep your damn mouth shut! Besides, I'm not telling anyone... except her Dads... I need to ask them something."

He laughs and just as our fight starts he sarcastically asks, "What are you taking her over state lines or something."

Ummm...

"Come on bro, stop blocking my hits and take it like a man!"

So I may have stopped pressing the buttons on the controller.

"Dude! What the- you are taking her over state lines! And you're asking her dads for permission? Oh. My. God!" he starts cracking up and even drops the controller on the floor, "dude, that's so, like, medieval..."

"I think the word you're looking for is chivalrous, something you know literally nothing about."

"Oh please! Who needs chivalry when you've got these guns," Puck says and flexes his stupid biceps.

"You're gross. And an idiot."

"You went for it. So did the other three ladies in this house," he says with his stupid Puck face.

"Okay, fifty percent of those 'ladies' are gay and the other two will not be hopping on the 'Noah Puckerman Express' anytime soon, trust me. Now pick up that controller so I can kick your ass for reals! Well, for fake, but for real!" I unpause the game and start wailing on his guy. Lots and lots of backflips that keep getting blocked because he won't touch his controller.

"Chill out! I was joking!"

"I know! But you know how well I take joking! Let me just take it out on an animated video game person!"

"I'm fighting the winner!" I hear Rachel's voice behind me.

"It's gonna be me!"

"Oh good, I love kicking your ass at this game," Rachel says as she wraps her arms around my neck and kisses my cheek.

"What have _you__two_ been talking about?" Brittany asks because she's nosy.

I give Puckerman a look out of the corner of my eye and he answers, "Chivalry."

"Was she giving you a lesson?" Quinn asks all snarky from the reclining seat in the sectional.

"Sort of."

"Bam! KO! Give that controller to Rachel so she can kick my ass." Did I really just say that?

"This game is too violent!" Brittany says from her own little corner of the couch.

"I thought so, too, Britt, but then San taught me how to play it and now I think it's the best thing ever. How about you play the winner of this one?" Rachel says to Brittany with a small version of the pout she usually gives to me.

"Okay, but don't get mad at me if I stop playing because I think it's too much."

That pout works on everyone! Rachel must have gotten everything she ever wanted as a kid!

"I won't," she nudges me a little and whispers, "Christie is about to kick Law's ass."

I hear both Quinn and Puckerman snicker as the fight starts.

"Come on! Quit it with the Brazilian, kung fu, break dancing shit, Rach!"

"That's what she does, San!"

"She's kicking your ass!"

"Shut it, Puckerman!"

"Go Rach!"

"Q?"

"Kick her ass, Rachel!"

"Britt?"

Every time! I don't get it! Am I wearing a sign that says "don't ever cheer for me" or something?

And an eruption of cheers from the gallery of anti-Santanas. "Here you go Britt, it's all yours," I say handing her the controller.

"Just letting you know, Rach, you're going down."

"Yeah, sure Brittany."

"Oh it's on-"

"Like Donkey Kong?"

"Really, Q?" I ask and just then my phone starts ringing, "It's probably my Da..."

Not my Dad.

My phone clearly says 'Mamá.'

"Umm... I'm gonna take this in the kitchen."

I feel like Rachel instantly knew who it was because she just continues with the game but gives me a look when I glance back at her on my way to the kitchen. It was slight and no one else really noticed, which is perfect because no one is following me into the kitchen.

Okay, deep breath and push the green button... "Hello?"

"Hola, Mija."

"Hola... Mamá."

"Comó estas?"

"Honesto? No sé, Mamá. Dos segundos atrás, estaba muy bien, pero ahora, yo no sé."

"Que es mi culpa... lo siento, mijá! Quiero empezar a hacer las cosas mejor."

"Cómo?"

"Cena... esta noche... con tu... novia. Tengo esta noche fuera."

"Rachel's-"

"Vegan. Yo sé. Tu Papá me dijo. There's a chinese restaurant a few towns over that I thought we could go to. Una de las enfermeras me lo contó."

"I was actually going to say that she's still recovering from the operation and she can't really eat much... but that was... really thoughtful of you."

I really don't know what's going on right now. I don't know what to do. I'm not even sure where my answers are coming from.

I don't know how to talk to my mother.

"¡Ay dios mio! ¿Cómo podría olvidarlo? ¡Puede tener sopa! Por favor, mijá. I really want to do this," she sounds kind of desperate. I wonder how much of this my father is putting her up to.

"I have to ask Rachel if she's up to it, hold on a second," I put the phone on the island and walk to the doorway. Rachel isn't playing the game anymore. It looks like Brittany beat her and Quinn called winner. Perfect. "Hey, Rach?" I get her attention and when she looks back at me, I nod back towards the kitchen with a facial expression that I'm sure says "come to the kitchen as quick as your appendix-less body can take you."

"Is everything okay?" Rachel asks after she had excused herself from the living room and came into the kitchen.

"My Mom's on the phone," I whisper.

Rachel pretty much only forms the "wh" in what.

"Yeah and she wants to take us to dinner tonight, she even knows that you're vegan and she wants to take us to some chinese restaurant where you're gonna have to get soup because you can't really eat anything yet-"

Rachel has stopped my rant with her hand, "Okay, is she still on the phone?"

I nod because her hand is still on my mouth.

"Tell her that we'll go to dinner with her-"

"Eeweeouswy?"

"What... oh, sorry," Rachel says taking her hand off of my mouth finally.

"Seriously?"

Like, seriously? She wants to do this?

"Of course, beautiful. You want to get your mother back, right?" I nod, "Then I'll do whatever I can to help you do that. Even eat soup awkwardly at a Chinese food restaurant with your mom." Luckily she's whispering and I don't think my mother can hear her.

"You are so wonderful."

"You're the wonderful one," she kisses me and then says, "now tell your mother that we're going to dinner with her."

"Okay," I pick up my phone off the island and say into it, "Que hora es la cena?"

"Seis y media. Are you coming?" she sounds... excited...?

"Yes," I say tentatively for some reason.

"Gracias, mijá. I'll send you a text with the name of the restaurant. Esto ver a ser bueno. Te lo prometo."

"Okay. We'll see you at six thirty. We have to get ready. Adios, Mamá."

"Adios, Mijá! Te amo."

"Te... amo... también."

Holy shit.

"Are you guys gonna come back? We need someone to play Puck... ummm... is everything okay?" I hear Quinn's voice behind me.

"Yes, Quinn, of course everything is alright!" Rachel answers in a very perky tone that didn't sound suspicious at all.

"Okaaay... so I didn't just overhear the end of a phone conversation that Santana was having with her mother?" Quinn asks because she's nosy, as usual.

I guess I should just tell her, "Yeah, that was my Mom. She wants to have dinner with Rachel and me and it's weird."

"What's weird?" Brittany says from behind Quinn. Both she and Puckerman walk into the kitchen.

Well now it's party.

"Santana's mother called her and invited her and myself to dinner this evening," Rachel answers for us.

"Does she know that you're vegan?" Puckerman asks as he pulls a stool out from the under the island and sits down.

"Actually, yeah, she did know. She's taking us to a Chinese restaurant that serves vegan stuff," I say still puzzled over her knowledge.

Something really just doesn't seem right about all this.

Interestingly enough, I feel like someone else in this room senses it, too.

It's Quinn.

She just keeps looking at me with these concerned eyes. Quite the change from Miss Fabray. But, I guess if anyone knows shitty parents, it's her.

Crap. It's already 5:30. "We should probably start getting ready," I say to everyone in a not-so-excited voice.

"Well, good luck with Crazy Mama Lopez," Puckerman says giving me a little punch to my shoulder and then walking over to Rachel to give her a hug.

"Wanna FaceTime about it later?" Brittany asks as she hugs me goodbye.

"Sounds perfect."

"Bye, Rach. It was fun kicking your ass in that violent but entertaining video game," Brittany says as she hugs Rachel.

"It was my pleasure," Rachel says graciously and with a hint of a laugh.

"Bye, Q," I say to Quinn who is just walking away without saying anything.

You know, she's really sending a bunch of mixed signals. I am not a fan of it.

"Bye, S. Bye, Rachel. Thanks for having me," she says back and then walks out of the kitchen before Britt and Puckerman.

Fucking weird.

"That was strange," Rachel says after they've all left the house.

"Yeah, well, that's Quinn for you," I say rolling my eyes.

Then I get a text message.

From Q:  
><strong>Good luck with your mom tonight. Let me know how it goes? Even if it doesn't go well. Maybe we can commiserate together.<strong>

What the fuck? Where did that come from? And why couldn't she have just said that in front of everyone?

"So, are you ready to go?" Rachel asks as she lightly takes my hand.

"Would it be rude to cancel?"

"Entirely."

"Then I'm ready."

* * *

><p>Honesto? No sé, Mamá. Dos segundos atrás, estaba muy bien, pero ahora, yo no sé - Honestly? I don't know, Mamá. Two seconds ago I was great, but now, I don't know.<p>

Que es mi culpa... lo siento, mijá! Quiero empezar a hacer las cosas mejor. - It's my fault. I'm sorry, my daughter! I want to start to make things better

Comó? - How?

Cena... esta noche... con tu... novia. Tengo esta noche fuera. - Dinner... tonight... with your... girlfriend. I have tonight off.

Yo sé. Tu Papá me dijo. - I know. Your father told me.

Una de las enfermeras me lo contó - One of the nurses told me about it.

¡Ay dios mio! ¿Cómo podría olvidarlo? ¡Puede tener sopa! Por favor, mijá. - Oh my god! How could I forget? She can have soup! Please.

Que hora es la cena? - What time is dinner?

Seis y media. - 6:30

Esto ver a ser bueno. Te lo prometo. - This is going to be good. I promise.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: So I'm actually posting this before I'm finished with the chapter that's three in the future... if that makes sense. I'm just tired of being so slow with this. Hopefully you enjoyed this! Let me know!**

**A/N 2: You should also go to my profile and click on the link to my Glee Project audition! Yeah, I'm shamelessly asking you to do that for me. Hey, those of you who read We Laugh Just a Little Too Loud know full well that I'm an attention whore.**


	8. Back Here On Earth

Summer Vacation  
>Day 13... still<p>

Oh my god! What was I even thinking? I'm not ready for this! And I'm dragging Rachel into it!

"San?"

What the fuck am I doing?

"Sweetheart?"

This is ridiculous!

"Beautiful?"

Is Rachel talking to me?

"Santana!"

She is.

"Yeah, babe?"

"Nice of you to join me back here on Earth," she says sarcastically but in a super sweet girlfriend voice.

"I'm sorry, I just..."

"I know. It's okay, this is a big deal and you're just thinking. You're having second thoughts aren't you?"

She knows me too well.

"Is it that obvious?" I ask.

"You're like an open book with large print," she says and then laces her fingers into mine, "you have to do this, San. It's not like you're by yourself; I'll be there right next to you the whole time."

"You're right, babe. I just... I just need a few more seconds."

Well, I'd actually like a few more hours, but I don't get to have that.

"Okay, but just so you know, I think I just saw your mom walk into the restaurant. We probably shouldn't keep her waiting too long," she says squeezing my hand as she looks out the window.

Okay, I guess it's now or never, "Let's go."

"After you, sweetheart," she says bringing my hand to her lips.

I bring my hand to the handle on the door and say, "Okay... and I'm opening the door... right now... yup, right this very second..."

I'm like, staring at the handle but I'm not opening the door. Suddenly I feel Rachel leaning over me and the door is open. "You can do this, okay?" she says and then kisses me. This is like, a 'you can do anything' kiss. It's like, an 'I love you so much' kiss.

I can do this. "Okay," I answer breathily and then start stepping out of the door.

"One more," she says grabbing my shirt a little and then she kisses me again. The same encouraging, take my breath away kiss as before, "for luck."

"I've got all the luck in the world now."

"Good. Now let's go. Oh no. Wait, one second," she wipes what I can only assume is stray lip gloss off of my skin around my lips and then says, "Now we can go."

"Thanks, babe."

"Anytime, sweetheart."

After a quick little smile we both turn and get out of the car. I walk around the back and grab her hand when I get to her. I'm not changing for my mother. That's the point of this, right? We walk hand in hand to the door and keep our fingers interlocked all the way to the booth that my Mom is already sitting in.

"Hola, Mamá," I say when we get to her.

"Hola, Mijá, Rachel."

"Hola, Dr. Lopez."

"Please, call me Mari," my mother says surprisingly. I mean, I wasn't expecting her to make Rachel call her Dr. Lopez or anything, but I figured she'd say 'please, call me, Marisol.'

"I'll be honest, it might take a few tries for me to be able to do that," Rachel jokes, probably thinking about the million times she's called Papá, Dr. Lopez and not Cris.

"That's alright... you're respectful... that's a good quality," Mamá says slowly and at the last part looking at me. "Please, sit down," she says gesturing to the other side of the booth.

Oh right, that's why we're here: to have a whole dinner with her...

I let Rachel get in first and then I follow her, leaving at least a half a foot between us. I'm nervous, okay! I know I said I wasn't going to change anything, but I don't want to push things too much!

"So, what did you two do today?"

Oh god. Small talk with my mother? This is going to be painful.

"Well, Rachel had an appointment with her doctor today because it's been a week since her operation." Clearly I'm leaving out what happened directly after the appointment.

"Oh, how did it go?" my mother directs her question at Rachel.

"Good! I can go to my theatre camp next week and I can get back on the elliptical tomorrow morning!"

"Lightly, though," I say with my concerned voice.

"She's right. You should be careful. Especially if you want to be going to that camp next week. I'm assuming there's dancing involved with this theatre camp?" my mother says all concerned and out of nowhere.

Where the fuck did that come from? There is no way that Rachel was expecting that either!

"Uh... yeah. We spend the entire afternoon learning choreography." I was right! Rachel never starts a sentence with 'uh!'

"What play are you doing in your camp?"

I am absolutely dumbfounded at the interest that she's showing in Rachel. How does a person go from calling someone filth to being totally interested in their summer plans?

Rachel perks up in the booth seat and answers, "FAME! It isn't the most fantastic musical to have graced Broadway, but the part I'm playing is pretty challenging!"

I love when she gets all excited about things.

"And what part is that?" Mamá asks... with a smile... a smile!

"Carmen. She's the lead-"

Rachel is interrupted by the presence of the waiter. We actually haven't been able to look at the menu. We've been busy talking.

"Good evening, ladies. My name is William and I will be serving you, tonight. What would you like?" he says like he's reading cue cards and with a Chinese accent.

"Could we actually have a few more minutes? We haven't quite decided, yet," my mother requests.

"Of course. I will be back in a few minutes."

"I'm getting vegan General Tso's and you are not stopping me," Rachel says to me with her determined eyes.

"No way! You can't eat that yet-"

"I think she'll be fine. How do you feel, Rachel?" my mother the doctor butts in.

"Hungry," she answers, "I can't consume anymore warm liquids. Besides, it's not like the appendix actually helps you digest anything."

"Actually, there's some debate on whether or not it is actually the useless organ that we've always believed it to be, but for the most part you are correct Rachel," Mamá says all intelligently and doctor like. "What are you getting, Tana?" she asks looking back down at her menu.

"Orange chicken, but with real chicken and rice that's been fried," I say with annoyance. Rachel giggles and gives me a little kick under the table. I think that's her way of telling me to calm down. I breathe out a little laugh and the annoyance is gone.

"I think I'm going to try that meatless General Tso's that Rachel's having. White rice?"

"I'm getting brown. I know it isn't very traditional, but it's healthier," Rachel shrugs.

"Wow! Not many teenagers are so health conscious," Mamá says and then looking at me, she continues, "Estoy muy impresionado."

Rachel giggles again and then I say to my Mom, "Mamá, Rachel knows Spanish. She's actually really good. Besides, that sentence is easy to figure out even if you don't know español."

"Oh, lo siento, Rachel."

"Está bien," Rachel says with a little wave of her hand. It's super adorable. One of those times that I want to kiss her because it's so cute. Clearly, I won't.

"Okay ladies, are you ready to order now?" our Chinese waiter asks when he gets back to our table. He kind of snuck up on us this time.

To avoid the awkward, silent exchange of figuring out who goes first, I just do it, "I would like the orange chicken, with fried rice, please."

"Original or vegan?"

"Original."

Wait, they call real chicken "original?" That's kinda fucked up.

My mother gestures for Rachel to go next and she does, "I am going to have the vegan General Tso's chicken with brown rice."

"I'm going to have the same," my mother says before William can say anything else.

"Thank you very much, that should be out very soon."

How soon is soon? I'm really worried that we're going to run out of topics. Like, really worried. Food in front of us would make it all better, though. That way we'd have something to keep our mouths occupied for a while.

I'm still worried that my mother is going to ask a rude question. Actually, every time she opens her mouth I get a little bit worried.

"So," shit, here's that worry, "how long... have you two been... umm... together, exactly?"

This is one that I have to answer, "It will be three months on Sunday."

Oh, where is she going with this?

"Mija?"

Oh god.

"Sí, Mamá?"

Where is that food?

"¿Cuánto tiempo hace que conoce?"

¿Qué? How long have I known what?

I have my left hand in the space on the booth seat that's between Rachel and me. Suddenly, I feel Rachel's hand on mine. It gives me this anchored feeling.

"I don't think I know wh-"

"Orange chicken?"

Oh thank god! "Right here, thank you."

William = best waiter ever.

"And two vegan General Tso's with brown rice," the best waiter ever says taking a plate off of his arm and placing it in front of Rachel and then the other in front of my mother.

"Can I get you anything else?"

"Could I have some more water, please?" I ask knowing full well that he'll interrupt another chance that my mother can have to ask her awkward questions.

"I would like more water as well, please," Rachel says to William and gives my hand a little squeeze at the same time.

"For you as, well, ma'am?" he asks my mother.

"Yes, please."

"Okay! I'll be right back!"

Okay, time to start eating. Can't talk with my mouth full, right? Mamá always told me "no hables con tu boca llena."

"¿Quiero decir cuánto tiempo hace que conoce sobre... tú sabes... esto?" she said 'esto' while looking between Rachel and me.

I know what she means now. She wants to know how long I've known that I'm gay. I'm surprised she didn't ask how long have I been gay? Actually, I'm really surprised.

Okay, how do I answer that? It's not like I've known forever, but in hindsight, it was actually pretty obvious. It took everything with Rachel almost three months ago for me to really realize it. And Brittany's coaxing, of course.

"Not very long," I answer.

"But you were always with boys..."

Oh, come on! Why now?

"It never really felt right being with boys, Mamá." I am totally about to make myself sound like a slut to my mother, but I'm pretty sure it's the only thing that's going to work, "In a three month period, any three month period between starting high school and three months ago, how many _different_ boys was I going on dates with?"

I turn my head a little to see Rachel and her eyes are big with surprise. I feel like she A) can't believe I just asked that and B) doesn't get why I asked that.

"Ummm... I'm not really sure," my mother answers slowly.

Pfft! Why would she know? She's never around.

"A lot. Actually, most of the boys on the football team." Yeah, I went there.

"Oh."

Rachel has now directed her attention to her animal-less meal. She isn't eating it, she's just pushing things around.

"Mamá, in the last three months I have only been with one person, Rachel. She's the only person I want to be with. I love her. I've never felt like this about any boy. And I know that I'm only seventeen and I have my whole life to figure things out, but I know that this is right, okay?"

Whoa!

Where did that come from? That was fucking awesome!

I think that Rachel thinks so, too because she is squeezing my hand again.

"Okay. I just... quería escuchar que me digas eso. Yo nunca te dio la oportunidad de antes," she says with this super sad face. She turns herself a little towards Rachel, who has stopped pushing her food around, "So, Rachel?"

"Yes, Dr. Lop- Mari?" she adorably corrects herself.

"Your parents, they're... umm... two men?"

Oh no! Where is she going with this? She just asked me how long I've known I was gay! Things were going well! Why does she have to bring up Rachel's dads?

"Yes, they are," Rachel answers a little nervously for the first time since we've been here.

"Have they raised you your whole life?" Mother asks and takes a bite of her food, "hmm... this isn't bad."

What is she doing?

"They've been my parents since they took me home from the hospital," Rachel answers. I hear a tinge of defensiveness in her tone.

I have my fists balled up at my sides, pushing into the seat.

"From the hospital...?"

"Yes. They used a surrogate-"

"So you do have a mother?"

"Mamá-"

"I met my birth mother," Rachel comes back in, looking back down at her food, "that's really all she is to me."

"You didn't like her?" my mother says kind of in a nonchalant way. It's gross.

"Honestly, I don't really have a reason to," Rachel says looking back up for a moment and then back down at her food. This time she takes a bite.

"Oh really?"

Mother is starting to be awful again. You know, things were really starting to look up. I actually kind of want Rachel to lay this one on her. I want her to feel bad for making Rachel have to explain this.

Unfortunately that means that Rachel has to relive it.

"Well, she sent the star of Vocal Adrenaline, Jesse St. James, to seduce me into falling in love with him and used him to get to me. She even got him to leave Carmel and transfer to McKinley for this plan. She made a tape with her singing on it and that's how I found out she was my mother. She went through all that effort to find me and get to me. She even told me that her biggest regret in life was not seeing me grow up, then she barely wanted to speak to me. Constantly, she pushed me away and then pulled me back in. Jesse went back to Carmel and pretty much stomped all over my heart," Rachel says and takes a breath. So far she's been pretty confident. I sense something else coming though. She takes a deeper breath and then says, "I think the best part was her adopting Quinn Fabray and Noah Puckerman's baby, Beth. A replacement child that she gets to watch grow up."

That didn't sound bitter at all.

"Honestly, meeting her made me grateful for my Dads," Rachel finishes.

"Hmm... so you don't think that because your fathers are homosexuals, it caused you to be as well?"

And there it is. That's where this has been going.

Bitch.

"Stop," I say firmly and quietly (we are in public), "Right now. Stop. You know full well that's ridic-"

"Well honestly, I can't help but think that she made you this way. You said it yourself, you haven't known for very long that you were like this. It must be her fault," she says with this obnoxious shrug and then taking a bite of her vegan chicken.

"Are you kidding me right now?"

"San," Rachel whispers.

"No, Rachel, I'm not going to let her talk to you like this. Again!" I'm not. This is ending here and now. "Rachel didn't make me gay, mother. Don't blame my girlfriend and her upbringing. Being gay isn't some cult. It just happens and until that gets through your head, I don't think I want to be around you."

"Mija-?"

"No. We're leaving. Come on, Rachel," I say grabbing her hand and starting to slide out of the booth.

Rachel moves with me but doesn't say anything. What could she possibly say? This must be terribly awkward for her.

Once she's up I start walking away from the booth but I get this thought and turn around, "You know, you really had me convinced that you had changed. Of course it was too good to be true. Llámame cuando no eres tan ignorante. Come on, Rach."

I turn back around and head for the door with Rachel's hand in mine. I don't stop. I don't look back. I just open the door, walk out, and hold it for Rachel to walk through. I shove my hand into my pocket and pull out my keys. We're in my car within a few seconds.

I wish I knew what to say right now. I'm just sitting behind the wheel, with the key in the ignition. Rachel's sitting next to me, just as silent. I'm not looking at her but I can feel her eyes on my.

I have to say something.

How about what I often find myself saying to her.

"I'm sorry."

She reaches over and takes my hand, "Sweetheart, explain to me what part of that was your fault?"

"It... I... she's such a fucking bitch! How can she say all those great things to me and then do this?" I actually smack my steering I'm so angry.

"Sounds familiar."

"Oh my god! Like, what the fuck? You know, she promised this dinner was going to be good," I roll my eyes and fight off the tears beginning to take over in my throat, "another broken promise."

Fuck. Here come those tears.

"Oh, sweetheart," Rachel says stroking up and down my arm.

"I just want to go home," I turn to look at her and I can barely see; the tears came on fast and in abundance, "I think you're gonna have to drive, babe."

"Okay," she says and lifts my hand to her lips. I love when she does that. It's so simple and like, old fashioned. It's perfect.

We both get out of the car. I keep my eyes down until I get to the back of it, expecting to meet Rachel there, but I don't. I look up more and see Rachel standing there, staring at something on the other side of the aisle of parked cars.

I'm actually afraid to turn and look. I know what she's staring at.

"Rachel, come on. Let's go home," I say to her and then look directly at my mother. I say it loud so she can hear me call someone else's home my own, "Leroy and Hiram are probably waiting for us."

"Yeah, you're probably right," she says and finally starts walking around to the driver's side.

After I hear the driver's door open and close, I get this impulse. Of course I have to follow it, "Go on home and tell Papá about how great this dinner went, Mamá. Good. Just like you promised, right?" I don't let her answer and as soon the words are done spilling out of my mouth, I open the passenger door and step into the car.

"What did you say to her?" Rachel asks after putting the car in reverse.

"Take your foot off the brake and I'll tell you," I say. I can't even be in the same parking lot as my mother right now. As she's backing out of the space, I answer her question, "I told her to go tell Papá that dinner went great. I know she's going to lie to him and say that it did."

"Why would she do that?" Rachel asks as she stops and looks both ways before turning onto the empty street.

"Babe, we're talking about my mother here. _My_ mother. I got my conniving ways from somewhere didn't I?" I say crossing my arms and looking out the window at the passing buildings.

"You aren't conniv-"

"I was. Don't deny that. Sometimes I still am. It's impossible to completely change yourself, Rach. You can't deny that."

I hate how true that is.

"Fine, but you can't deny that you're better and you're going to start using your powers for good instead of evil," Rachel says with a smile.

"Right," I say with a laugh.

"Well, who do you think your dad is going to believe? You or your mother?" she asks just as we pull up to red light.

"Hopefully me, but why should he even have to deal with that? He shouldn't have to decide which one of us is telling the truth. She shouldn't do that to him," I say shifting in the seat to turn to her.

The light turns green and Rachel pushes on the gas pedal, "I think you should call him... now."

That's a good idea! Of course Rachel thought of it and not me. She always thinks so logically. Okay maybe not always, but more often than I do.

"I'm putting it on speaker," I say as press send and push the speaker phone button.

"Mija, what did you do?" Papá asks the instant he answers.

What's worse than being furious? Whatever that is, I'm it.

"I didn't do anything!" I spit out.

"Eso no es lo que dice tu madre!"

"Well she's lying to you Papá!"

"¿Por qué mentiría a mí?"

"Because she's crazy, Papá! She blamed Rachel for me being gay! She tried to say that _Rachel_ made me gay! That's absurd and ridiculously ignorant!" I practically yell into the phone.

"Tu madre no es loca."

Really? That's what he chose to respond to.

"You have to believe me, okay! Rachel, tell him what she said!" I know I shouldn't bring her into this but she's the only witness. Luckily she's on my side.

Rachel sighs and says, "She thought that... she thought that because my Dads are gay, they made me gay and then I turned Santana gay."

"Okay, maybe that is a little crazy," Papá says finally agreeing with me.

"See, Papá?"

"Yes, Mija. I'm going to talk to her again. I'm sorry that this happened girls. I have to go. I hope your night gets better."

"Thanks, Cris."

"Thanks, Papá. Te amo," I say.

"Te amo, también. Adios."

"Adios," both Rachel and I say, then I press the end button.

"Wow, you were right," Rachel says as she pulls up to the house.

"Yeah, I know. Babe, I really don't want to talk about it anymore. Let's just go inside and cuddle. I don't want to use my brain anymore," I say, letting my head fall back and hit the head rest on the seat.

"Okay, beautiful."

* * *

><p>I feel like shit. Absolute shit. <em>Drop <em>_Dead __Gorgeous_, one of the funniest movies I have ever seen, is not even cheering me up. Cuddling with Rachel helps, but it doesn't really halt the thoughts running through my head.

Really, I'm kind of a mess.

Talking to L and H _definitely_ didn't help. I didn't want to say anything to them, but Rachel insisted. Needless to say, they're a little agitated. I mean, they have every reason to be! Their daughter was attacked because of their non-traditional family. That's why I _didn__'__t_ want to tell them. Now they _really_ don't like my mother. Okay so they didn't say that, but why wouldn't they? She insulted their parenting skills by saying they brainwashed their daughter into being gay and that she did the same to me.

This is giving me a headache.

I'm just going to dig my face into Rachel's chest and hope the pain sitting just above eye disappears.

"The movie isn't helping, is it?"

"No," I sigh into Rachel's chest.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Right now, how much my head hurts."

"Sweetheart," she says lifting my chin with her fingertips, "you have to stop. None of this is your fault."

I roll my eyes and put my face back into her chest. I know it isn't my fault, but it doesn't stop me from thinking about how awful I feel.

After letting out her own sigh, Rachel pauses the movie and says, "Tell me what you're thinking about. I know nothing I say is going to make you feel better, but trust me, getting what you're thinking out of your head helps."

"My mother sucks," I say into her chest.

"That can't be all you're that's on your mind," she says.

I pick my head up and say, "Yeah, that's pretty much the big picture. Everything I'm thinking about basically stems out of her sucking major ass." I bring my knees up, resting my chin on them and say, "I feel like all those things she said to me at the hospital were just a way to get us to dinner so she could confront you about her fucked up theory. She just... sucks!"

"You really think that your mother used a rouse to get us to dinner?" Rachel asks incredulously.

Why doesn't she believe me when I say that my ninja manipulation skills were genetically inherited from my mother? She's actually better at manipulating people than I am!

"Just believe me, okay?"

"Fine."

"Thank you," I say and dig my chin deeper into my knees.

We sit together in the quiet for a little while. The only noise in the room is slight creek the floor makes when Rachel pushes off of it to adjust the way she's sitting on the sectional. She turns her body around to face me, bringing one of her knees up against the back of of the couch and her other leg tucked underneath, lying across the seat.

Hmm... giving all of my attention to Rachel kind of eases the pain in my head. It's a much better use of my concentration.

"You aren't going to give up, are you?" Rachel asks breaking into the quiet I was actually enjoying.

After the shit show that was dinner with my mother, I think giving up on her being in my life is a good idea.

Papá would hate that, though.

"I don't know," is the best answer for her question that I can come up with.

"I don't think you should," she says with her most convincing facial expression.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah! Okay, this is going to sound really weird, but bear with me for a second," she says.

She seems pretty excited about what she's going to say to me. I'm thinking this is some sort of crazy hypothesis she's come up with in regards to my mother.

"Lay it on me, babe."

"Your mother loves you."

Is that it? That's what she was so excited about?

"Okay...?"

"That's why she's doing all this," she says as if it's the most obvious answer in the world. I still don't see where she's going with this and she can tell because she rolls her eyes and continues, "Okay, how do I explain this? Oh! Remember our first date?"

"I will never forget our first date," I answer because I won't... ever.

"Me neither," she says with a smile and then continues, "You told me you came out to your dad right before you left your house and you also told me that you were afraid to tell your mom because she's Latina and Catholic-"

"I still don't see where your going with this," I say rolling my eyes.

"Well, if you'd let me finish what I'm trying to say you might," she huffs at me.

"Sorry."

She gives me a little scowl and then starts again, "You said you were afraid to tell your mother because she's Latina, Catholic and 'loves you too much.' San, I think she just needs more time. I don't think she would have even been able to be in the same room with you, let alone both of us if she hadn't actually made any progress at all. I think she's fighting herself or something. Like, half of her wants to accept you for who you are because she loves you, but the other half doesn't want to for the exact same reason."

Well... that's complicated.

"Were you like, a psychiatrist in another life or something?" I ask despite the fact that I only slightly believe in past lives and whatnot.

Rachel laughs at my question and says, "I think you are the last person I would ever expect to believe in reincarnation." She laughs even harder and once it slows down she says, "I think I've just had enough of my own therapy. So, what do you think?"

As complicated and twisted as her idea is, it does make sense.

"Okay."

"Okay... what?"

"I won't give up-"

"Yay!" Rachel practically jumps off the couch with all of her excitement.

"Yet," I finish and Rachel sighs, "Rach, there's only so much rejection from my own mother that I can take."

She gets this sad look on her face and I know she gets it, but she still says, "I understand."

I reach my hand forward a little bit and link my fingers with Rachel's. As I stare at our fingers intertwined together I say, "I'm really tired."

"Do you think you'll be able to sleep?" she asks as she starts to absent-mindedly tangle and untangle our fingers.

"I don't know. _But_ I do know that I could use a Rachel Blanket right about now," I say shamelessly.

"You're wish is my command! Come on, let's go upstairs," she says getting up from the sectional and dragging me up right after her.

"Gladly," I answer and follow her into the kitchen, up the stairs, into her room and directly into bed.

I'm going to try really hard not to think about, not thinking about what happened today. Maybe that way I won't think about what happened today.

It's going to be a long night.

At least I have my Rachel Blanket.

* * *

><p><strong>Estoy muy impresionado<strong> - I am very impressed.  
><strong>Lo siento<strong> - I'm sorry  
><strong>Está bien<strong> - It's okay.  
><strong>¿Cuánto tiempo hace que conoce?<strong> - How long have you known?  
><strong>¿Qué?<strong> - What?  
><strong>¿Quiero decir cuánto tiempo hace que conoce sobre... tú sabes... esto?<strong> - How long have you known about... you know... this?  
><strong>quería escuchar que me digas eso. Yo nunca te dio la oportunidad de antes<strong> - I wanted to hear you say that. I never gave you the chance before.  
><strong>Llámame cuando no eres tan ignorante.<strong> - Call me when you aren't so ignorant.  
><strong>Eso no es lo que dice tu madre!<strong> - That's not what your mother says.  
><strong>¿Por qué mentiría a mí?<strong> - Why would she lie to me?  
><strong>Tu madre no es loca.<strong> - Your mother isn't crazy.


	9. Kool Aid

Summer Break  
>Day 17<p>

Oh my god! I'm finally getting Rachel's birthday present! Her birthday is only six days away!

I'm also spending some much needed bestie time with Britts. The only problem is that she insisted we invite Quinn. What the fuck? How can I talk about Quinn to Brittany when Quinn is going to be there? But, since I have a difficult time saying "no" to Brittany, Unholy Trinity time is happening today while I shop for my girlfriend's birthday present.

The girlfriend that I think 1/3 of the Unholy Trinity has feelings for.

I'm talking about Quinn, for those of you who haven't been paying attention for some ungodly reason.

"So, what are you getting Rach?" Brittany asks as I steer her and Quinn in the direction of the store I need to go to.

"Something expensive, at least, something expensive for a seventeen year-old without a job," I joke as we pass by the cart with the dude that asks if you have natural nails.

"Oh please! Like you'd ever need to get a job while you were still in high school!" Quinn scoffs.

I'm sorry, what?

"Are you saying that I'm spoiled, 16 and Pregnant?" Okay not one of my best. I'm a little rusty.

"Hey, S, you didn't have to go there," Brittany says to me, "besides, she is kind of right..."

Oh my god! How is it that everyone is on my side, but when it comes to Rachel and now Quinn, everyone is against me?

"Well, just so you both know, the Doctors Lopez aren't paying for this one. I still have Quinceañera money left over _and_ money from my last two birthdays. That's what's paying for this and the day that I have planned for her," I huff and then turn away from them, power walking to the jewelry store that has what I want to get Rachel at it.

It isn't long before I feel Britt and Quinn on my sides. They thread their arms into mine and Brittany says, "I'm sorry S."

"Me too," Quinn says, "but you have to admit, you are a little spoiled. I mean, your chest and your whip are proof."

I'm choosing to ignore the chest part, "Did you just call my car my 'whip?'"

"Yeah... you call it that sometimes," Quinn says through her quirked up eyebrow.

"Yeah, but you're like, totally white bread and you sound even whiter trying to sound ghetto," I chuckle.

"Oh shut up!"

"So, where are we going?" Brittany butts in with glorious timing.

"Here," I say because we just got to the jewelry store I've been steering them to.

"Oh," Quinn says, stopping in her tracks.

"Ooo! What are you getting her? Aah! I'm so excited!" Brittany says jumping up and down _and_ clapping her hands.

"That," I say pointing into the glass container that I went directly for, "When I was here getting my Dad's watch cleaned, she was looking at it with this big smile on her face."

"It's cute!"

"And really like, Rachel. Peace signs and hearts? And who doesn't love Jane Seymour," I'm thinking the last part of that was some Quinn sarcasm.

"Can I help you ladies?"

I look up and meet the eyes of this super short, round man. I try so hard not to laugh. So hard in fact, that my throat hurts from my stifled laughter. I think he might be wider than he is tall.

"Yes you can," Quinn jumps in and gives me an elbow to my ribs.

"Umm... I want to buy that necklace," another elbow, but from Britt this time, "please."

"Ah, of course!"

Oh my god! He's like a miniature Santa Claus! He's just too happy.

"Now, is this a gift for someone?" he asks and once again I'm holding back a massive crack up.

"Mhm," I hum, nodding to the rolly polly man... oh I need to stop.

"Okay! So, is gift wrapping in order?"

"Yes, please!" Brittany answers for me.

"Okay then! I'll be right back with this all wrapped and ready to go!"

Once the guy is in the back room Brittany smacks my arm and goes, "Ummm, S, what is wrong with you?"

"Nothing is wrong with her," Quinn answers, "She's laughing at that guy because he's short, round and jolly."

"Like a miniature Santa Claus," I say finally vocalizing what I've been keeping inside for far too long.

"Oh," Brittany says and then after about three seconds she is laughing really hard. "Oh my god! A miniature Santa Claus!"

Now the laughter that's been boiling inside of me is literally bubbling over. I can't stop it!

"You guys are awful," Quinn says shaking her and then suddenly she smacks my arm and then Britt's.

"Wha- hi, there!" the guy is back with a box wrapped in gold paper with a black bow around.

"I'm glad to see you ladies having a good time during your summer vacation. Now, this is all set and how will you be paying this afternoon?"

Oh man! He has no idea we were laughing at him!

"Cash," I answer though a light laugh.

"Wonderful! Now if you'll just come over to the register, I'll process this transaction," he picks up the wrapped box and waddles over to the register.

Laughing as quietly as I can, I follow him over to the register. As I'm walking I pull the $100 that I have in my pocket out. The five twenties are folded around my license and debit card. I know I should have a purse or a wallet but A) a bag is just too obnoxious and B) I don't need a wallet ruining how great my ass looks.

I'm so gay.

"Okay, your total comes to: eighty-four dollars and thirty-eight cents."

I hear Britt whisper "whoa" as I hand the guy the hundred bucks that I've been carrying around with me.

"Out of twenty, forty, sixty, eighty, one hundred. Thank you."

This guys starting to really be a little too much.

I hear the drawer open and watch his mouth count out my change, "And fifteen dollars and sixty-one cents is your change. Have a wonderful day, ladies!"

I take my change and without anyone having to elbow me in the ribs, I say, "Thank you," and turn around with the gold bag holding Rachel's birthday gift in my hand.

"How did you get out of the house without Rachel?" Quinn asks, "You two are like, attached at the hip."

"Uh... no they aren't, Quinn! If they were they'd be siamese twins and the fact that they have sex would be like, really gross... and I think illegal," Brittany says, stopping right as we get to the up escalator.

I can't even breathe I am laughing so hard. That is why Brittany is my best friend in the whole entire world. Like, who thinks of that? Brittany S. Pierce, that's who.

"Britt, that's just a saying," Quinn says stepping onto the escalator, "it means they're always together."

"Well, that's dumb! Why couldn't you have just said that?"

"Because it's... I don't know why Britt," Quinn says, this time stepping off of the escalator.

"Hmm... I think that if you don't know why you're doing something you shouldn't do it," Brittany says simply.

"Britt, Q's always talked like that. In idioms and similes," before we can have a 'duck in the hat' moment I continue, "Remember in the seventh grade in English class when we had to draw pictures of sayings like 'lost her marbles' and 'cat got your tongue?'"

"Oh yeah! I drew a picture of a fish drinking all the water in his bowl for 'drinks like a fish!' It means someone who drinks too much," Brittany says proudly remembering our first year of middle school together.

I laugh and say, "Yeah! And-"

"And similes and metaphors are comparisons. San, I know," she rolls her eyes, "I want to go to the pet store!"

Quinn and I look at each other with disgust over going to the pet store. I hate the pet store. It isn't because I'm heartless bitch either, it's just the opposite. I absolutely abhor looking at all the sad little puppies in their probably dirty cages. This isn't even because of Rachel and all her animal cruelty issues. I've always felt this way. Quinn feels like that, too! I'm actually surprised that Brittany likes going to the pet store so much. Maybe she doesn't see that they're sad or something.

Hmm... let's try to think like Britt for a second... I got it! I bet that she figures they'll all have homes eventually and then they won't be so sad anymore! I'm totally asking her to find out if I'm right.

Now, how do I bring it up? Oh! Easy! "Rachel hates pet stores," I say as we walk into the worst store in the mall.

Brittany's face gets all shocked, "What? How can anyone hate pet stores? They give animals homes!"

I knew it!

"So do animal shelters, Britt," Quinn says.

"They treat the animals better at shelters, too," I whisper as we pass by the jerk that runs this hell hole.

"I think you two have been listening to Rachel too much," Brittany says and then pouts at a particularly sad looking Golden Retriever puppy.

Quinn and I give each other another look behind Brittany's back, but when we look away, I suddenly start to wonder if what Brittany said was right. Not about me, clearly, but about Quinn? I guess we have been spending a lot of time with her lately and she and Rachel have had some alone time. I told you! Rach was really starting to drive me nuts! I needed a break every once in a while! Quinn helped me out and prevented her from doing something that would be potentially risky for those stitches holding her insides in. Okay so they're really only covering little tiny holes, but still.

Now that I'm thinking about it, Quinn knows a lot veganism, too...

"Okay, we can go now," Brittany says out of nowhere, "I just wanted to see if some of the puppies had been sold since the last time I was here."

"And when was the last time you were here, Britt?" Quinn asks.

"Three days ago. Five of them are gone. I think that's progress," she says and turns to walk out of the store.

"Anyways," Quinn starts as we follow Britt out of the store, "how did you get out of the house without Rachel?"

"You know, we don't have to do everything together," I say through an annoyed expression.

"Could have fooled me," Quinn laughs out.

I roll my eyes and start to wonder again why I'm trying to be friends with her.

"You know, I think it's cute," Quinn says in this gross apologetic tone.

"Could have fooled me," I can't stop myself from saying.

"No, I do. You're both so happy all the time and I have to admit, you do look really cute together."

"Yeah, super cute," Brittany says turning back to us.

I smile at Brittany and then finally answer Quinn's question, "I told Leroy and Hiram that I was going to buy her birthday present today and they decided it was family day, which involves a movie musical marathon. I faked disappointed that I wasn't really invited to join and pretended to come up with plans."

"It worked?" Quinn asks.

"I'm here without Rachel, aren't I?" I ask in a 'duh' tone.

"Right."

"Hey, you said you had a whole day planned for Friday. What are you doing?" Brittany asks as we venture into the food court.

I was totally planning on keeping this a big secret. I know far too many people that don't know how to keep them. But of course Brittany has that look on her face and I can't not tell her. Ugh. "You have to promise me that you won't say anything. To anyone! Not even Lily!"

"Pinky promise," Brittany says holding out her right pinky to me. I link mine with hers and we both kiss the ends of our fists.

"You too Q," I say once I put my hand back down.

"Do I have to pinky promise," she asks with a kind of weirded out look on her face.

"Duh! It's the only way it's real," Brittany says and picks up Quinn's right hand. Quinn sticks her pinky out and we repeat what Britt and I just did.

"Now tell us!" Brittany says sitting down at a table and then pulling me down into the seat next to her.

I wait for Quinn to sit down in a chair across from us and then say again, "Now, you promise-"

"We linked our friggin' pinkies, Santana! Tell us where you're taking her! God!" Quinn all but yells at me from across the table.

"Okaaay," jeez, "I'm taking her to an aquarium," I finally answer.

"The one in Kentucky with the penguins!" Brittany grabs my wrist and hops in her seat.

"Yeah, that one."

"I feel like vegans are anti-zoo and aquariums," Quinn says.

Is she trying to ruin my plans? Rude. Well, just so she knows, "Way ahead of you Luce," instant pissed face, "she's actually all for zoos and aquariums. She thinks that because the animals are there for helpful research purposes and the admission that they charge goes to a good cause, they're all good. They also treat the animals well because the people taking care of the animals have degrees."

Boom. Roasted.

Yeah, I said it.

"So, she doesn't think that the animals are being taken advantage of?" Quinn presses on again as if I hadn't just answered that question.

I roll my eyes and say, "No, she realizes that most of them have been there since birth and that some of them are even rescue animals. Zoos and aquariums aren't the same as farms that raise animals simply for them to be eaten."

Duh.

"Wait, there are farms that do that?" Brittany asks with her completely serious, sad face.

"Hun, have you listened to anything Rachel has said to you about veganism?" Quinn asks.

"You know, I like Rachel, I really do," Brittany says and then turns to me, "but sometimes, it's just too many words."

"It's okay, Britt," I say through a smile.

"Wow, you really are spending a lot of money on this," Quinn says through her quirked eyebrow.

"Yeah, but it's cool. She's worth it. Besides, what else am I going to use this money on? I just want her to be happy and that makes me happy... and Little One is keeping score on who gives better gifts," I say to Brittany and Quinn who both sigh and roll their eyes at me, "You do realize that I'm kidding, right?"

"Yeah, sure," Quinn says shaking her head.

Bitch, please.

Wait, she isn't looking at me. Actually, running through this conversation, she's actually been looking slightly beyond Britt and me. Let's do a sneaky little trick to see what she's looking at... after I text Brittany who's literally sitting right next to me.

To Britt Britt:  
><strong>Have you noticed Q looking behind us this whole time?<strong>

And maybe a quick text to Rach...

To Rach*:  
><strong>Hey Babe! How's fun time with the Dads going?<strong>

Quinn is too busy staring at whatever is behind us now to even tell that I'm texting under the table.

I hear Brittany suck in a bunch of air through her throat in excitement and then see her start furiously texting out of the corner of my eye. In no time:

From Britt Britt:  
><strong>Right when we sat down! Theres a rly cute girl behind us. I looked when I asked if you were going to kentucky.<strong>

She's so fucking smart! I can't stop myself from turning a little bit to give Britt my 'oh my god' look.

"What?" Quinn asks suspiciously.

"Oh, nice of you to join us here at this table," I respond.

"I have no idea what you're talking about," Quinn gulps out.

"What? Quinn, you've been staring at the cute girl behind us since we sat down," Brittany whispers loudly.

"Shhh!"

"Oh come on Q, she's two tables away, she can't hear us," I say rolling my eyes and then obviously looking back towards her. Hmmm... she is cute, not really my type with the dude's haircut and the fitted cap, but I get why Quinn's been looking at her.

"Way to be obvious, Santana!"

"What? I just wanted to see what was more interesting than me."

"Talk to her!" Brittany says leaning over the table closer to Quinn.

"No way! What if she isn't-"

"Oh please, with that haircut? Of course she's gay," I interrupt Quinn before she can make a really shit excuse.

"Hey, I think I've seen her before," Brittany says turning to me but looking out of the corner of her eye at the girl in question.

"She works at the Lima Bean," Quinn says with that shy voice, "I've been drinking a lot more lattes than usual..."

Now that I think about it, she's shown up to the Berry house with a Lima Bean cup in hand everyday this week.

"So you've talked to her?" Britt asks.

"Well, not much beyond 'I'd like non-fat iced caramel latte, please' and 'thank you' when she hands me my change that I just put in the tip cup," Quinn sighs and then looks beyond Britt and me again at the girl she's clearly crushing hard on.

This is fucking great! Quinn's all puppy dog eyes over this girl! This girl that isn't my girlfriend! This is the best trip to the mall ever!

"You know what, Q? I want to help you," I say putting my elbows on the table and my chin into my palms.

"Me too!" Brittany says doing the same thing.

"You know, you guys don't have to do that," Quinn says leaning away from the table and looking rather nervous.

Yes we do.

"I'm sure that Rachel would love to help, too..."

"That's really unnecessary, guys... I think... ummm... I think I want to just, you know, keep things the way they are... me drinking too much coffee everyday... and smiling too much when I see her and... stuff," Quinn says nervously and then brings her hand to her face, rubbing her eyes with her thumb and forefinger.

Ooo! I forgot I put my phone in my lap.

From Rach*:  
><strong>It's okay. I miss you. How's Unholy Trinity time?<strong>

I have to tell her!

To Rach*:  
><strong>Britt and I just found out that Quinn has a crush on one of the baristas at the Lima Bean.<strong>

Oh I cannot wait to see her response!

"Are you telling Rachel?" Quinn asks trying to snatch my phone away from me.

"Yup. Let's see what she has to say, shall we?"

From Rach*:  
><strong>A boy barista or a girl barista? There's no such thing as a baristo and Quinn is bisexual...<strong>

Well that was anticlimactic.

To Rach*:  
><strong>A girl barista.<strong>

Instantly:

From Rach*:  
><strong>OH MY GOD! We have to help her!<strong>

"Rachel wants to help, too," I say through my devious eyes. These are a good devious though.

"You guys really don't-"

"Yes, yes we do," I say.

I am so excited it isn't even funny. Okay, maybe it is funny. It's pretty obvious why I'm so excited. I mean, you get it right? Fine I'll spell it out for you: QUINN HAS A CRUSH ON A GIRL THAT ISN'T RACHEL! She isn't even _like_ Rachel! Okay well, maybe she is a little like Rachel, but we don't know that yet. It seems like all Quinn knows is that she's cute and she takes her coffee order right everyday.

"Yeah, totally, Q! You should be getting your sweet lady kisses," Brittany says with a big smile on her face.

Quinn's face, meet Quinn's palm.

* * *

><p>Summer Vacation<br>Day 18

Rachel is so friggin' excited to help Quinn out with her barista. She's probably too excited actually. I've been scheming since last night. Well, actually, I think that we need to see these two potential love birds interact before a plan can really be hashed out.

Wait, did I just use the term "love birds?" I need to be stopped.

As much as I'd like to get on with Operation Barista, I have bigger fish to fry today... like whale shark big. It's dinner with Papá day. I'm seriously afraid that he's going to sneak attack us with my mother. That _really_ wouldn't be fair. It wouldn't be fair to me, to Rachel or to Leroy and Hiram. I thought that we made it clear that this can't be pushed, though. Ugh. I don't know what to do!

I don't really want to get hit again, either.

But like, what if he does bring her? I'm not sure I'll be able to speak to him. I don't even think I'll let them in the house.

"Sweetheart, why are you making so much food?" I feel Rachel come up next to me and slide her hand under my shirt and onto the swell of my back, "It looks like you're trying to feed an army."

"Honestly, babe, I'm worried Papá is going to bring my mother today," I sigh and continue stirring the rice. Okay, so maybe I would let them in.

"Ah ha... why don't you call him if you're so worried about that?" Miss Logical asks.

Right. Of course. The telephone.

"And there's my babe, bringing in logic to my scrambled brain," I say and kiss her cheek, "Would you mind grabbing my phone for me, it's on the island?"

"No problem," she says scrunching her nose and then kissing my lips quickly. When she returns and hands me my phone, I'm struck with slight panic. It must be obvious, "Now what's wrong?"

"What am I supposed to say to him? What if I'm accusing him of something that he had no intention of doing?"

You know, I'm getting really good at this whole expressing what I'm feeling thing.

"San," Rachel starts, putting her hands on my hips and turning me towards her so that fronts are touching and so that I can't stare into the boiling pot of rice any longer, "that entire day when you were going to meet your dad at the hospital, you felt like something was going to go horribly wrong. I know that you don't really put much faith in premonition, but I think that you should go with your gut on this one. Your past experience tells you to."

"I didn't feel so fantastic about going to dinner with Marisol, either," I mumble.

"And as much as I wish you weren't right about that one, you were," Rachel says through sad eyes, "Just call him and ask him if he's bringing your mother. He's going to understand that you don't feel comfortable with her here. He's on your side, remember?"

I hope she's right.

I lift my phone from my side and type out the letters that lead me to Papá's cell phone number. After I hit send, Rachel lets go of my hips and starts stepping away to give me space. I don't want it and gasp out, "No," grabbing for her with my empty hand.

"Okay," she whispers, then reaches her arms around my hips, hooking her thumbs into the belt loops of my jeans.

"Hola, mija. ¿Qué pasa?" Papá answers in a chipper tone.

"Nada más, Papá. I just wanted a little reminder of when you'll be here today?" I ask hoping that this will ease into the question I really want to ask.

"I thought we decided on 4:30," he says and he's right, we did say 4:30. That's why I'm cooking now at 4:00.

There's really no easing into this is there. I look at Rachel to see that she's giving me her most encouraging smile. It's her, "you're Santana and you can do anything," smile.

"Umm... Papá?"

"Sí, mija?"

"¿Donde esta Mamá?"

That was really the most tactful way I could come up with on such short notice. Although, I'm pretty sure if I had twenty-four hours, I still wouldn't have come up with anything better.

"En el hospital. ¿Por que?"

Shit.

"I just... I umm..."

"Mija, you didn't think I was going to try and bring her, did you?"

Double shit.

"Ummm...?"

"¡Ay dios mio! He aprendido de mi errores. I wouldn't do that to you again! I wouldn't do that to Rachel and her fathers either! Mija, estoy decepcionado de que pensabas que iba hacer eso."

Come on! Couldn't he have been angry! I hate when he's disappointed! It's the worst thing ever to be a disappointment.

"Lo siento, Papá," I say feeling like the worst daughter of all time. I knew this was going to happen.

"It's okay, Míja," he says not sounding any different than when he told me he was disappointed, "I'll see you in a few minutes. I'm leaving the house now."

"See you, soon."

"Adios."

And the call has been ended. I didn't even get to say 'adios' back.

"Decepcionado?" Rachel asks.

"Disappointed," I answer and turn back to the stove. I never would have thought to call him if Rachel hadn't mentioned it.

"I'm sorry, sweetheart."

Good. She should be sorry.

"Hey, what's wrong?"

I'm not talking to her. I'm just going to keep cooking these fajitas and give them all of my attention until she gives up and walks away from me.

"I'm not leaving until you tell me why you're upset."

Okay so I just won't talk to her while she stands here.

"You aren't blaming this on me, are you? All I did was tell you to call him, you didn't have to do it."

What? "You practically pressed send for me with all your premonition talk. You went and you did that whipped, mind control thing you do to me..." what am I saying?

"Oh, so you think that I'm manipulating you to do things? And here I was thinking you were in love with me and that's why you do things for me," she says backing away from me.

"Rachel, that's not what I meant-"

"Yeah, okay. I bet I 'mind-controlled' you into being gay, too, didn't I? Maybe your mother was right and you've just been drinking my Kool-Aid for the last three months. Happy Anniversary, by the way."

And with that, she walks out of the kitchen and up the stairs. I hear her door slam and I only assume that she's locked it as well.

There's the doorbell.

"I'll get it!" Hiram yells and just seconds after, Leroy is in the kitchen with me.

"So that was Rachel's door?" he asks in his scary Mufasa voice.

"Yeah," I say barely letting out any air and paying _very_ close attention to the vegetables in the frying pan in front of me.

"Is she okay?" he asks and I can feel him getting closer to me.

"She isn't feeling very well," I lie. I'm sure it's obvious. Why else would I be acting like more of an idiot than I usually do in front of Leroy?

"Hmm... if I went up there and asked her if she was sick, would she tell me that you were lying?" he asks very close to me. Like, directly behind me.

"We got in an argument, okay!" god that was excruciating.

"Eh, arguments happen. You guys have gotten through worse," he says with a shrug and walks away, "I'm thinking she won't be down for dinner, though."

Okay, lungs, relax. Breathe.

Leroy walks out of the kitchen to join the other two dads. Well, I thought he'd be joining the other two dads, but Hiram just walked into the kitchen.

"Rachel's not going to come down for dinner, is she?" Wow, they know her well.

"We kinda fought about something," I say to the vegetables.

"Does it have to do with your dad? He seems a little out of it," H asks putting his hand on my shoulder.

"Sort of. I..." hate to admit it, "I said something stupid," I say shaking my head and then walking away from the stove to grab dishes to put the food into.

"Did you instantly regret it?" H asks with a slight laugh.

"Of course I did. I'm sure I looked like I did, too!" I say only slightly flailing my arms with the bowls in my hands.

"I'm sure she noticed. Don't worry, Santana, everything is going to be fine. Let's take care of what you need to with your dad first, though. Rachel will be here all night, but he has a surgery at 10," Hiram says wrapping his arm around my shoulder while I empty the contents of all the pans into bowls.

"You know, you're the coolest third dad anyone could ask for," I say looking up to his eyes just a little. He isn't that much taller than I am.

"Third?"

"Yeah, Brittany's dad is second, sorry, it's a time thing. Can you grab the tortillas?" I say picking up the bowls and starting towards the dining room.

"Ahh, totally understandable," he says as he pops open the microwave and grabs the plate that's been in there. "Ready to clean up your messes?" H asks with genuine smile as we approach the doorway to the dining room.

"I guess so," I shrug.

"I'll be there the whole time," he says with a dad wink and then proceeds into the dining room ahead of me.

Well, here it goes.

* * *

><p><strong>¿Qué <strong>**pasa?** - What's up?  
><strong>Nada <strong>**más, ****Papá** - Nothing much, Papá  
><strong>¿Donde <strong>**esta ****Mamá?** - Where's Mamá  
><strong>En <strong>**el ****hospital. ****¿Por ****que?** - At the hospital. Why?  
><strong>¡Ay <strong>**dios ****mio! ****He ****aprendido ****de ****mi ****errores** - Oh my god! I've learned from my mistakes.  
><strong>estoy <strong>**decepcionado ****de ****que ****pensabas ****que ****iba ****hacer ****eso** - I'm disappointed that you thought I was going to do that.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hello everyone! Just wanted to wish everyone a Happy Glee Day! I always appreciate comments so feel free to leave some!**


	10. Way to Go Me!

Same Vacation  
>Same Day<p>

There really is nothing worse than a disappointed parent. I don't know what it is, but it hurts more than when they're angry. They must know that it makes us feel worse or something because they throw out that card all the time. All of them. I've seen Rachel's dads do it, Brittany's parents, I've even witnessed Puck's mom use it. It works every time! It fucking sucks. I think that parents just have a secret conference every year about the benefits of guilt. They must, because they _all_do it.

Hiram is _really_ good at it. Not even gonna lie, I think it's the Jewish thing. He has a Jewish mother so I'm thinking he learned from the best. I'm not even trying to be racist... wait, that's not right... Judaism is a religion not a race... whatever. He actually made me feel kind of guilty when he told me that my Dad looked "kind of out of it." He totally knew it was my fault that he was like that.

I do need to fix this, though.

Too bad I've been sitting here, not eating and just listening to the conversation that the dads are having. I don't even have Rachel to occasionally look at with a flirty glance because she's all pissed upstairs!

What a fucking mess!

I'm just gonna go and blame my mother for all of this. It's really the easy thing to do here.

"Hey, Santana, you've been pretty quiet over there," I hear Hiram say to my right.

"Sorry," I say looking up from my barely touched plate, "just overusing my brain."

"Hey, Leroy, wasn't there a movie on TV tonight that you really wanted to watch?" Hiram asks his "life partner" across the table.

"Ummm... oh yeah! And would you look at the time," he says looking down at his invisible watch, "It's starting now!"

"Santana, you don't mind clearing off the table do you? We'll do the dishes when the movie's over," Hiram says as he gets up and tosses his napkin on the table.

"Uh... yeah, sure," I say not really aware of what's going on.

"I'll help," Papá says and suddenly I get what they're doing.

Sneaky gays.

I stay sitting down and watch as my father gets up from his seat. He starts combining the plates and the silverware. I don't know what to do. Words are blatantly failing me right now. Clearly, I'm the one that should be saying something, but I can't, so all that's heard is the clanking of the dishes and silverware together.

I know that barely any time has passed, but it feels like a million years. I have to say something!

"I'm sorry, Papá," I say softly and down to the table. I can't really look at him anymore.

Even though I'm not looking up, I can see him sit back down in the seat he's been sitting in since we started our dinners. He clears his throat and says, "I'm sorry, too, Tana."

Wait. What? "Papá, why are you sorry? I'm the one that accused you of-"

"If I hadn't given you a reason to, you never would have accused me," he says interrupting me, "you were worried, I understand that."

"But still, I should have known that you wouldn't do that again. You want this to work and you know that forcing Mamá and me into a room together doesn't work," I say as I get up and take the pile of dishes from the table.

Papá gets up with me and says, "Mija, I shouldn't have reacted the way I did. It's just that I'm-"

"Stressed out?" I ask with a guilty expression. I can't help this feeling. Even though I didn't do it on purpose, this is still partially my fault.

"Sí," he says rubbing the bridge of his nose between his thumb and forefinger, "tu madre y yo nos peleábamos martes por la noche y no hemos hablado desde," he says suddenly looking really worn out, "I'm not sure what to do anymore."

"Papá... lo siento..."

"Dejas de pedir perdón. Por favor. You shouldn't have to apologize for being yourself," he says and slumps onto a stool that's already been pulled out from under the island.

I pull out another stool from the other side of the corner and sit down with him. Once again I'm at a loss for words and all I can do is hope that he isn't expecting me to say anything. I fold my hands in front of me and fix my gaze on them. Suddenly, one of my Dad's hands enters my peripheral and in no time, it's holding one of mine. I look up and catch his eyes. "Todo va a estar bien," he says and I believe him. As simple as that. I just believe him.

I have to believe him.

"Te amo, Papá," I say because it's really all I can think of.

"Te amo, también, Mija."

I smile at my father and then squeeze his hand as tight as I can. I really don't want the tears that are forming in my eyes to fall. It might happen anyways. I honestly can't even tell what kind of tears these are. Are they happy because of what my dad just said to me? Are they sad because in the back of my mind I know that all this stress in his life is because of me? Or is the fact that I have a crazy mother hitting me again? Maybe it's everything?

All I know is that I don't want to cry right now. Not right now.

"I really wish that I could stay longer, Mija, but I have a surgery and rumor has it you have a girlfriend to fix things with," he says with a little smirk that I'm sure looks a lot like one I've been seen with on my face.

If I could, I would totally something do evil to Leroy. It was sooo him that told Papá.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that last part and let Leroy off the hook," I say as if I was ever going to do anything about it.

Papá laughs a little and stands up from the stool, "Walk me to the door?"

"Of course," I say and follow him as he walks out of the kitchen.

"I'm heading out," Papá says when we enter the family room.

"Already?" Hiram asks turning away from the movie he and Leroy have been "watching."

"Yeah, I need to prep for the surgery."

"Same thing next Sunday?" Leroy asks.

"Can't wait," Papá says and then looks at me, indicating that he needs to go.

I smile and we head to the door. Before I leave the family room, though, I turn around and give H a thumbs up, letting him know everything is okay.

"So, what did you say to Rachel?" Papá asks when we get to the door.

"Why do you assume that this is my fault?" I ask because I'm actually a little offended.

"Because you don't always think before you speak, Mija, kind of like another woman I know," he says to me with his 'Dad smile.'

I roll my eyes knowing that he's right. I don't always think before I speak. I follow my impulses. Sometimes it works out really well and sometimes it completely blows up in my face.

Like this time.

"I said that she has me whipped," I mumble.

"She does."

"Thanks, Papá."

I think you know what that sounded like.

"It saved her life."

Ummm... "Huh?"

"I looked at her chart when I came down to visit you guys. If you hadn't forced her to go to the hospital, things could have gotten a lot worse. So, you being whipped into doing anything for her, saved her life."

Whoa.

I'm not sure I'm processing this.

Although he's right. I think I would have drugged her and carried her to the hospital if she'd refused any longer.

I think I just heard footsteps at the top of the stairs.

"I have to go Mija. Buena suerte. Everything is going to be fine with Rachel, okay?" he says and wraps his arms around me before I can answer his question. I just nod into his shoulder. He lets me go, holds me at arms length and says, "te amo."

"Te amo, también."

Then, he opens the door and steps out into the summer night.

It's a humid summer night so I'm going to close the door and stick with the central air.

I'm going right upstairs. I know Rachel heard what my father said. Those were her footsteps.

Tonight will not end with her mad at me.

I have to go to my room first and get the anniversary gift I got for her. I bet you thought I forgot, too! Rude! As if! This gift was actually purchased a month ago. Remember when I said I was going to give Rachel roses for every month we're together? Of course you do. Well, last month I found this thing... okay, it's a knick knack thing and I'm not really a big fan stuff like that, but I saw it and instantly thought of Rachel. It's three roses made out of crystal. It stands about as tall as my hand and costs more than three real roses would, but these have the potential to last longer. I'm hoping I'm right and Rachel will like it.

Well, here it goes.

I knock on her door, "Rach."

Nothing.

"Rachel, please."

Still nothing.

I put my forehead on the door trying to think of something that will get her to open it.

"I didn't forget!"

Suddenly, the door flies open. I didn't even have time to move my head. When I look up, I'm met with the puffy, tired eyes of my girlfriend. She's been crying. And now she is crying. Oh no! Rachel tears!

"Beautiful, I'm sorry. Please, please don't cry anymore!" I really, really hate it when she cries.

She isn't stopping. Crap! This is all my fault! I made her cry like this! Because I can't keep my mouth shut!

"Rachel, I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have sa-"

"Stop it!"

"But I-"

"No. Just stop saying you're sorry," she says with a hint of anger in her voice. She turns away from me and walks towards her bed.

I don't know what to do. I'm just standing in the hallway with a box in my hand and a really confused look on my face.

Rachel whips her little body around and says, "Well, are you coming in here or not?"

I take the two steps forward into the room automatically.

"Close the door."

Done.

As soon as I turn back around, Rachel's arms are wrapped tightly around my waist and her face is buried into my neck. Her tears have started back up again and she's mumbling something. I have no idea what she's saying.

"Babe, I don't know what you're saying," I say softly.

She looks up with her eyes full of tears and says, "Of course you didn't forget," and then she buries her face back into my neck. Once again she starts mumbling things, but the crying has gotten heavier, so it's even more difficult to understand her.

"Beautiful, I can't understand what you're saying," I say and kiss her head.

She lifts her face back up and starts, "You... You..." she kind of hiccups and then says, "I love you."

"I love you, too."

"I know you do!" and somehow the sobs have gotten bigger, "that's why..." another hiccup, "you made me go..." hiccup, "to the hospital!" And back into my neck.

I manage to put the box I've been holding this whole time, down on the dresser next to her door and then grab her cheeks, forcing her to look at me. I don't say anything, I'm just looking at her. After a little while her sobs slow down to mere sniffles and when a half smile appears on her lips, I take the opportunity to place a kiss on them. When I pull my head back, I say, "Rachel, I love you. You have me completely whipped and I wouldn't have it any other way. I will drop everything to do whatever you need me to. Always. Happy Three Months."

"You're so perfect," she says looking at the box on her dresser, then she looks at me and says, "and I'm crazy."

I laugh a little and say, "Babe, you aren't crazy. I said something stupid."

"And you always say stupid things-"

"Hey!"

"But not in a bad way..."

"What?"

She's lost me here.

I watch as she puts her thinking face on. Clearly, she wants this to come out perfect and as she's thinking, I let my hands slide down from her cheeks to her shoulders. A little smile appears on her lips and I know she's formulated her thoughts just the way she wants them to come out. She takes a breath and starts, "You follow your impulses. When you feel like saying something, you let it come out," she pauses for a moment, putting her thinking face back on and then starts again, "sometimes I feel like if you weren't impulsive, I wouldn't know how you're feeling, because when you don't feel like saying anything, you won't... and don't. You _did_ say something dumb earlier, but I reacted in a fashion that was just as irrational. I should have talked you down instead of lashing back."

"You know what?" I ask through a smirk, sliding my hands down to her hips and pulling her into me as close I possibly can.

"What?" she asks me as she drapes her arms over my shoulders.

Even though she stopped crying a while ago, her eyes are still pink and her nose is stuffy. Despite her tired eyes and sniffles I still think she's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. And I really do feel what I'm about to say to her. Even if she did blow up at me for as much reason as I blew up at her... which was no reason at all... really. My eyes drift down from her eyes over her nose and land right on her lips. Without even thinking about it, I'm being pulled right into them. I resist the gravity that she has me in just long enough to whisper to her, "_You__'__re_ perfect," and as soon as the words have left my lips I succumb to the pull that she has on me.

She hums out a sigh and the vibration on my lips moves throughout my body. She really is perfect. Even with her flaws... whatever those are.

This one, simple kiss has actually set me on fire. Need isn't a good enough word for what I'm feeling right now for the girl that's doing this to me.

Rachel pulls back only slightly out of the kiss for what I assume is some air. Her nose is still pretty stuffy. Okay, enough time for breathing has happened, I needs me some more Rachel kisses.

"What's in the box?" Rachel whispers just before my lips can get to hers.

What a frickin' tease!

"It's empty," I whisper and lean in to complete that kiss I want to be happening.

Did I really just miss?

Or did Rachel duck away from me so that she can get her hands on the box that I said was empty?

"You didn't bring me an empty box," she says leaning to the side to scope it out.

"You can't wait?" I sigh because my body _really_ doesn't want to. It's really in the mood for some make-up sex. Like, bad.

"Please?"

Damn pouty face.

"Fine," I say and reach behind me to grab it off the dresser, "Happy Three Months, Beautiful." I kiss her forehead and hand her the box.

Oh, she is not staring at me instead of opening it!

"It isn't really empty," I say with a little impatience.

"I know, I'm just being a tease," she says and then finally starts opening it up. She pulls out the top sheet of crumpled tissue paper and then stops. I hear her sniffle a little and then see her gently tuck her hand into the box. As she's pulling her gift out of its temporary home, she sighs out, "San, they're beautiful."

"And they'll last forever," I say hoping that it's not a jynxing statement. I'm just gonna knock on her dresser a little bit.

"I love this," she says dropping the box on the floor next to us. She sets the roses on her dresser and looks at them for a little. Then she turns back to me and says, "I love you so much. This is so creative. Well, I know you didn't make it or anything, but it's a really great twist to the tradition you started."

"Well, three months is kind of big, you know. It's a whole quarter of a year," I say with only a little bit of sarcasm.

I really do think it's a big deal.

"I think that's an oxymoron," Rachel jokes.

"That isn't very nice to say to someone," I joke back.

She simply giggles and wraps her arms around my waist, nuzzling her face back into my neck.

"I really do think this is a big deal, you know," I say as I rest my chin gently on the top of her head and stare across the room at the deep purple accent wall that we painted about a month and a half ago. She looks up from my neck with a look telling me to elaborate.

The answer is simple. It's just a little difficult. Actually, I think I'm a little ashamed.

"This is the longest relationship I've ever been in."

I'm not ashamed because all of my past relationships were short. I'm ashamed because there are so many and they meant nothing. They were all to boost and then once I'd established it, flaunt my status.

"Me too," Rachel whispers.

"What are you talking about? You were with Jesse for at least this long and you were with Finn for _months_," I say due to my complete lack of guard for that statement.

"It is," she says bringing her hands up to cup my cheeks, "those relationships were nothing and you," she gets up on her toes and leaves a soft kiss on my lips, "you're everything."

I'm not sure if she did it on purpose, but one of her hands slid down from cheek to my chest, directly over my heart. I can't take my eyes off of her. I wonder if she can feel my heart beating. I'm not really sure how she couldn't, it is hammering away.

Everything.

That's a big three syllable word.

It's so simple, being told that you're someone's everything, but it's breathtaking. Seriously, I'm having a hard time breathing here.

But in a good way.

And now all I can think about is how I feel the same way about her.

"Are you okay?" she asks sliding her hand up from my chest to the back of my neck.

"Yeah," I whisper through a smile, "I'm better than okay. Like, way better."

"Oh yeah?" she asks in her flirty voice while her fingers tangle in my hair.

"Yeah," I answer as I slide my hands down to the swell of her back, "I'm with my everything."

That switched something on. I could see it in Rachel's eyes just before she smashed our lips together. "I love you," she says taking her mouth back for just long enough to say it.

"I love you," I say and then give my lips back to Rachel's. I feel the tip of her tongue slide across my bottom lip. Hmm... should I tease her and deny her the access she's asking for... nope... oh god... lip nibbling is like, the secret password... access granted.

I love how every bit of Rachel tastes. Right now I am completely indulging in the way her mouth tastes. I'm not going to say it tastes like candy, because it doesn't. Just like she... you know _she_... doesn't taste like candy. I will say that she's like candy in the way that I can't stop eating her.

Yeah, I went there.

Oh, she's moving to my neck and my hands are moving to her ass... I need something to grab onto... especially if she's going to suck on my neck right there.

"Oh my god, you're mouth is amazing."

"So are your hands," Rachel moans out and then goes right back to what she was doing.

Really? All I'm doing is squeezing her butt. Nothing special. Hmm... let's see if she thinks they're genius at a higher location. Over or under the shirt? Under. Definitely.

"Mhm," she hums as my hand grazes its way up her abs. Just as my hand cups her bra covered breast she husks out, "Bed," just a little squeeze and a pinch, "Now!"

"Your dads are downstairs," I say teasing her.

Her answer: yanking her shirt off and pulling me into a fierce kiss. "I don't give a shit!" she says in her deep, 'I want you' voice. Then, she turns me around and pushes me all the way to the bed.

So. Fucking. Hot.

I sit down on the bed and Rachel immediately straddles my legs, putting her knees on either side of me. "You are wearing far to many clothes at the moment," she husks and tears my shirt over my head, tossing it who knows where. She leans into me, wrapping her arms around me. While unhooking my bra, she whispers into my ear, "I want you to eat me out, so bad."

I can barely breath I am so turned on right now. She is _the_ sexiest thing to ever be on top of me.

Well, now she's the sexiest thing ever to be under me.

I press into her when I get between her legs and she lets out one of the sexiest moans I've ever heard her let come out of her mouth. Oh she's totally getting what she wants from me. "These need to come off," I say tugging her pants and underwear off together because I cannot wait to put my tongue to work. After I put a hickey on her inner thigh though.

"San that feels so good."

Hmmm... now, what if I add in a little something extra? Like a thumb somewhere sensitive?

"Uh huh... oh San!"

Well, that was an interesting pitch.

I think she's ready. I'm just going to take a gander at the work I've done on her thigh... HOLY SHIT that's dark! Oooo. She probably shouldn't wear short shorts for a while... I'm just gonna kiss it and then make her feel _really_ good.

Right now.

"Oh my god! Yes!"

"Umm... dads..."

"Soundproof... bedroom!" she moans out and pushes my head back down the two inches I'd lifted it up.

Oh yeah! How could I possibly forget that? Well then, back to one of my favorite tastes. And does she taste good.

This isn't getting weird is it? Whatever, no one said you had to peep in on my sex life.

Anyways, for those of you don't think things have gotten weird: I've found that I have to wrap one of my arms Rachel's thigh and hold down her hip with my hand because she moves a little too much. Since I started doing that, things have gotten much easier for me and I think things have gotten much better for Rachel. So, arm wrapped around her thigh, hand pressing on her hip and lips spread, I'm ready to really get down to business.

I need to stop saying things like that.

Okay, so, a nice slow drag up from bottom to top and then a teasing flick at her clit.

Rachel's hips attempt to buck up but I've got them locked down making it impossible for movement to make my tongue lose its place. Instead, I suck her clit in between my lips and lick it with my tongue pointed. Its really the best way to hit all those extra sensitive places.

As if there's anywhere for my face to go, she starts pushing down on my head. And she's trying to move her hips again... actually, I have an idea. I think that her inability to stop moving and the pushing of my face further into her might actually work to my advantage.

Well, if it doesn't work, I know what will.

Okay, releasing the grip on her hip, still sucking her clit between my lips and curling my tongue around it just a little. It's kind of like eating a really juicy fruit and trying not to get it all over yourself.

First jolt. Clearly the real trick is not letting go. So far so good. I wonder how long it's going to take Rachel to figure out what I'm doing.

Second jolt. "Oh my god. San wh-what are y-you doing?"

Nothing!

Third jolt. Followed by some grinding. I think she's figured it out. Oh yeah! She's definitely figured it out. The grip she has on my hair is telling me that she gets it. The force she's using to roll her hips is pretty telling, too.

"FUCK!"

Okay, I know it's good when she lets the curse words fly. I think this can get even better, though.

I bring my finger tips to her entrance and play around the nerves that hang out there.

"Unh... m-fuck... you're amazing," Rachel yells and grinds herself into my tongue and fingers even more, "I... you... fuck... inside!"

That wasn't even a sentence. Good. I'm gonna start with two fingers.

"Oh! Fuck yes!"

She is just letting that word fly out of her mouth! I love it!

"More," she demands as she rolls her hips some more, "I'm so... close."

I pull out a little and add a third finger. Okay, I know how impatient she gets and this has been going on for a while, so I'm thinking I should wrap things up down here. Three fingers makes finding that spot even easier.

"Oh my... Santana..." and that little squeak, then the silence.

She's still moving though and I haven't let go of her clit or stopped moving my hand.

"Oh my god! No, no, no! I c-can't! San?"

I don't stop and the consequence: a reflexive kick to my back.

"Hnh," I huff out as I let go of Rachel's clit and my fingers clumsily leave her, "I think you kicked my lungs." This feels a lot like falling on a Sue Sylvester lift.

Through her panting, "While I am sorry for knocking the wind out of you, you got what you deserved for not stopping."

"Well, how do you feel?" I ask resting my hands and chin on her pelvis.

"Fantastic," she says falling back down off of her elbows.

"Then it was totally worth it," I say through a devious smirk.

Rachel props herself back up on her elbows and whispers "Come here," while curling her finger in the way matches what she's demanding.

I stand up from the floor that I've been kneeling on and straddle my naked girlfriend. We crawl up the bed together so that Rachel winds up sitting up with her back against her headboard and my knees are on either side of her. "I bet you're making a mess," I whisper into her ear and then give it a little nip with my teeth.

"We'll sleep in your bed tonight," she whispers back and then leans forward, placing a kiss in between my breasts. And then there's another. "Mmm," and her tongue.

"I want to do something," she says looking at me briefly and then goes right for my left nipple. It is totally lost in her mouth.

"Rach, trust me, you are doing something," I moan, not realizing how turned on I already was. It's actually starting to hurt a little.

Rachel giggles a little, letting my nipple pop out of her mouth, and says, "Uh uh, something else. It's on a card." She puts her head back down and takes my right nipple between her lips. While her mouth is busy with that, one of her hands kneads at my left.

I have no idea what card she's talking about. Maybe it's the skirt from behind one? Or maybe, "Are you talking about the park one?"

She shakes her head in a "no" without letting go of my nipple.

"Oh. Do that again," I moan and run my fingers through hair. She shakes her head again and my head rolls back, it's so good, "Oh my g-"

"So are you ladies all- oh my god-"

"Holy fucking shit!"

"Papa!"

I jumped off of Rachel and the bed so fast I barely remember it happening. I also hit the floor so hard that the bruises I'm going to have probably have bruises. I think Rachel took cover under the blankets. I'm not really sure. I'm hiding under the bed.

"I... umm... just wanted to see if you two had made up and I'm thinking that you have so I'm just gonna umm... yeah. Goodnight," I hear Hiram say really awkwardly and then wait for the door to close before I even think about getting out from under the bed.

"San?" I hear Rachel say and then see her head hanging over the side of the bed.

"We aren't gonna be able to sleep in the same room anymore are we?" I ask, still under the bed.

"I think we should just be happy that Papa walked in on us and not Daddy," Rachel says through a smile, "So, are you going to come out from there or is that your bed for the evening?"

"I'm thinking it's going to be my new home for at least a week. Too bad the body pillow isn't under here anymore," I say and bury my face into my arms.

I feel movement on the bed above me and soon Rachel is lying down on the floor next to me, not under the bed. "You know, I can't do what that card says with you under here," she smirks at me.

"I don't think I can do any of the things on those cards after that," I groan, still feeling absolutely mortified that one of Rachel's dads just saw me getting my nipple sucked by his naked, sixteen year-old daughter.

"Yes you can. We'll just be more careful. And remember to _lock__the__door_," she says with a lot of emphasis on the last three words.

Way to go me!

"Rach, I'm really not in the mood anymore," of course I'm saying this to second horniest person I know and I'm sure she's going to insist that I am still in the mood somehow.

"That's okay." What? She's letting it go? "I'm gonna give you hint at what card it is though," she says with a wink.

"Okay?"

"Good Jewish girls don't it. I've already proven that I'm a terrible one, but this will probably double it over," she says and I have no idea what she's talking about. Do I have to do research or something? I seriously don't know anything about Judaism. "Still not in the mood?" she asks with as much of a shrug as she can manage lying on her stomach.

"No. Now I'm confused."

"You know, you can look at the cards to try and figure it out," she says rolling her eyes and giving me her 'you're silly' face.

"Are you trying to get me out from under the bed?"

"Yes."

"Well, just so you know, I was going to get up anyways," I say as I start to inch my way out.

"I know," she says getting up from the floor so that I can get out.

As soon as I'm up, I find my shirt, yank it over my head and peep out the door to make sure that there are no dads lurking in the hall way. I know that Rachel can't follow me just yet because she has no clothes on. I cross the hall and enter my room, heading straight for the shoe box in my closet. I pull out the stack of cards, stopping to look at the strap on for a second. I smile and then go right to the cards. No, no, no. Which one is it- oh my god. I forgot that I put this one in here.

I can't believe she doesn't think this is weird.

I can't believe she wants to do it.

I think I might have actually written this one as a joke, thinking that she'd say no and we would laugh about it. But she wants to do it. And now, the more I think about it, the more I want her to.

The card simply has two words on it: _Blow__job._

* * *

><p><strong>tu <strong>**madre ****y ****yo ****nos ****peleábamos ****martes ****por ****la ****noche ****y ****no ****hemos ****hablado ****desde** - your mother and I fought Tuesday night and we haven't spoken since  
><strong>Dejas <strong>**de ****pedir ****perdón. ****Por ****favor**. - Stop apologzing. Please.  
><strong>Todo <strong>**va ****a ****estar ****bien** - Everything is going to be fine  
><strong>Buena <strong>**suerte** - Good luck

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey! How is everyone this evening... or whatever time it is where you are? I hope it's going well. I also hope that you enjoyed this installment. I swear I'm working on this as much as I possibly can. The holidays kind of slow me down and force me to do other things. I'm also sick. Anyways, let me know what you thought about this one! I really enjoy reading your comments. Oh and thanks to everyone who's favorited and alerted this... and all my other stories for that matter. Love you! Bye!**


	11. All Grown Up

Summer Vacation  
>Ummm... it's Wednesday...?<p>

I woke up this morning to a text message. Well, actually I woke up to an elliptical at 7:30 like always, but there usually isn't a text waiting for me because all of my friends... well, Puckerman and Brittany sleep until the afternoon... like normal people.

Quinn isn't normal though. She sends people text messages at 7AM on Wednesday mornings. Freak.

From Q:  
><strong>So, are you EVER going to tell me how dinner went with your mother? I'm guessing it wasn't good.<strong>

She texts in full sentences. Like Rachel. Don't they realize that they only have 160 characters? I guess if you have unlimited text messages that doesn't really matter does it? Whatever.

Anyways, I've decided that I need to bargain with Quinn. I'll talk to her about dinner with Mamá only she does something that I think she should do. Ready for it?

To Q:  
><strong>Meet Rachel and me at the Lima Bean and I'll tell you all about it.<strong>

Instantly.

From Q:  
><strong>No. I know what you want to do and I refuse.<strong>

HA!

"What are you laughing at?" my sexy sweaty girlfriend asks me from the foot of the bed.

"My bargaining skills. Today is the day that Quinn talks to the barista!" I say and then look back down at my phone to type out a message.

"Really? I'm so excited! I'm going to go shower and get ready!" Rachel says, jumping around and then leaves the room for the bathroom.

To Q:  
><strong>Oh come on Q! Rach and I will be great wing-men!<strong>

From Q:  
><strong>I don't think I'm ready for that...<strong>

Oh my god! Yes she is!

To Q:  
><strong>It's the summer Q! No one has to know. Rach and I have your back. So will Britt.<strong>

Oooo! Here is the best line I can possibly think of. This has to get her. It would totally get to me.

To Q:  
><strong>Let yourself be happy.<strong>

It might take a while to get a response from that one. I'm just gonna close my eyes and wait for Rachel to give up the bathroom.

Whoa! Way sooner than I thought.

From Q:  
><strong>Fine. I usually go at 9:30. Meet then?<strong>

Oh this is perfect. So effing perfect!

To Q:  
><strong>Perfect. See you at 9:30 ;)<strong>

I really couldn't resist.

From Q:  
><strong>Shut up.<strong>

This just keeps getting better!

Okay, I'm going back to sleep. Well, first I'm going to send a text to Rach telling her to wake me up when she gets out of the shower.

To Rach:  
><strong>Wake me up when you're out? I love you!<strong>

And hello eyelids.

...

"Which one is she?" Rachel whispers the instant we walk in the door of the Lima Bean.

I have to look around for a second, but I see her pretty quickly. She's at the register taking orders. "She's right in front of us," I whisper back, pointing at her with my eyes.

Rachel makes it obvious that she's trying to see her by getting on her tip toes and looking around the people in front of us in line.

"Make it a little more obvious," I hear a voice behind us. It's Quinn. Clearly.

"I was being totally discreet! Miss 'I can't handle doing things small' over here is the one with the problem," I say throwing my thumb in Rachel's direction.

"Hey!"

"Come on, babe! You were practically jumping over everyone to see her," I say with my eyebrows quirked.

Rachel simply huffs and then mumbles, "I still haven't seen her."

"You will," Quinn huffs and rolls her eyes, "we're all in line and she's what we're waiting to get to."

After a few steps forward, Rachel gasps and Quinn and I both turn to her and ask, "What?"

"I know her! She's playing Lambchops in FAME! She can actually play the drums!"

"Well this just keeps getting better," Quinn says in a monotone.

Oh, but it does just keep getting better. This is fan-freakin'-tastic!

"And that's why she wasn't here yesterday. Or last Tuesday and Thursday," Quinn says showing off her stalker skills. Okay so they aren't stalker skills, she's just got it bad. It's obvious.

Rachel and I just look at each other and try really hard not to laugh. It isn't easy. I actually let out a little snort and Quinn looks pissed about it. When we get to about two places off from the top of the line, her POed face turns into a freaked out face, though.

"Umm... Q? You okay?"

"Nope. I'm just gonna go and find us a table," she says and starts walking away. Rachel catches her wrist before she can get too far, though. Actually, she barely even got out of the line.

"You aren't going anywhere, Quinn Fabray!" Rachel whisper yells at her. It's a little terrifying actually.

"Okay," Quinn squeaks out.

One away.

Now, I've been watching our friend at the top of the line, she's been pretty concentrated on her job since we got in line and hasn't looked beyond the customer she's waiting on. That is until right this second. Shit! I think she sees Q! Aaaah! Quinn's blushing! HA! This is great! Oh, Quinn is totally getting a date out of this. I was just going to try and get her to give her phone number up, but the smile that this girl just gave Quinn is totally dateworthy.

And now we're up.

"Rachel? Hey!"

"Hi, RJ!" Rachel says to the barista who has been nameless until this moment.

"How are you doing after yesterday's insane dance rehearsal?" RJ asks and Rachel suddenly gets a nervous look on her face. I swear if she got hurt yesterday and didn't tell me... or anyone for that matter, I will be sooo mad!

"Great!"

"Oh good!" RJ says and then gets right to business, "so, what can I tell those kids over there to make for you guys this morning?"

"Well, I'm going to have a tall tea and my girlfriend, Santana," she says nudging into me and smiling, "is going to have a grande low fat iced mocha latte and our friend Quinn wants-"

"A grande low fat iced caramel latte with an extra shot," RJ interrupts before Quinn can. She's smiling and looking directly at the _still_ blushing Quinn. "Quinn. It's nice to finally know your name. I've been calling you 'Caramel Latte' all this time," she says with a little flirty laugh.

She is hitting on Q so hard, _I__'__m_ getting smacked with it. Now, is she going to say something? Probs not. God, do Rach and I have to do everything? "Hmmm... are you implying that you've been talking about our friend Quinn?" I ask as I hand her my debit card.

"Maybe," she says with a smirk to Quinn and then directs her attention to the screen.

While RJ's attention is on the screen, I take the opportunity to give Quinn a necessary elbow. She scowls back at me, but it's gone the instant RJ's attention is back up at us.

"Here you go," she says as she hands me back my debit card, "You guys are all set. Have a great day!"

"Thanks," is the first thing that Quinn has been able to say. She said it really sweet, but she still manages to grab my wrist hard enough that I think my hand has fallen asleep, to drag me over to the pick up station... thing.

The three of us stand in silence as we wait for our drinks and continue it all the way to a table. After we've all had a few sips Quinn finally bursts out with, "What the hell was that?"

Rachel and I just look at each other and then back at Quinn. What is she talking about? That was mild. Besides, RJ did most of the talking and flirting. Rachel and I didn't really do anything.

"What are you talking about Q? I'm surprised you don't have a black eye she was hitting on you so hard. Did you not notice it?"

"I... umm..." she looks to Rachel as if she's going to help her.

"She's right, Quinn. There was some major flirting happening over there," Rachel says because she's totally on my side.

"No..."

"Are you kidding me? She's been calling you 'Caramel Latte!' Even if she _hasn__'__t_ told anyone about you, she clearly thinks about you and uses that as a substitute for your actual name. I bet you were calling her something in your head, too-"

"I've known her name this whole time. She wears a name tag," Quinn says looking at me like I'm an idiot.

"Oh. Right. Whatever. She likes you, Q and you like her. Give her your phone number!"

"I can't," Quinn says shaking her head and looking down at her coffee.

"I can," Rachel says with her own little devious smile, that I am absolutely in love with right now, "I'm going to see her tomorrow and pretty much every Tuesday and Thursday this summer-"

"You wouldn't..."

"She sent a girl to crack house," I say.

"And I got Sandy Ryerson fired," Rachel says.

"Don't ever underestimate Rachel and her abilities," I say pursing my lips and quirking up an eyebrow.

"Tell me what happened with your mom," Quinn says firmly, attempting to change the subject.

"Give RJ your phone number."

"Only if you tell me about last Tuesday night," she says with her bargaining skills shining bright.

"How do I know you won't welch on this?" I ask knowing that this isn't the best deal ever.

After a breath, Quinn grabs her purse and starts digging through it. Eventually she pulls out a little notebook and a pen. After tearing out a page, she writes down her name and cell phone number and slides it to the middle of the table. "After you tell me, you can give this to RJ."

"No way! You have to do it. It isn't nearly as satisfying if I hand it to her," I say crossing my arms.

"Oh my god! Fine! I'll give it to her! Just tell me already!" Quinn says a little too loudly; people are looking.

"Okay! Chill out," I take breath, then look to Rachel for a moment. When I look back at Quinn I say, "She tricked me."

"I'm sorry," Quinn says to me, putting her elbow on the table and her chin into her palm.

"I should have known when she wanted Rachel to come along that it wasn't real. That was way too big of a step," I can't really stop the little chuckle that's coming out of my throat just thinking about what I'm going to say next, "she pretty much just wanted to confront Rachel for recruiting me into the gay cult that she and her dads are running."

"Are you serious?" Quinn asks with all the shock that _any_ normal person should feel when they're told this story.

"One hundred percent," Rachel answers, "then her mother lied to her father about what happened at dinner, blaming Santana for them not being able to get along." Rachel is making it very clear that she is not my mother's biggest fan. Honestly, she has no reason to be. She was attacked.

"Your dad doesn't seem like the kind of person to fall for something like that..." Quinn says shaking her head a little bit and giving a slightly incredulous look.

Rachel and I just look at each other and sigh back at Quinn.

"He believed her?" Quinn asks, with her eyes wide and mouth agape.

"Originally, yeah, he did," I shrug and Quinn's mouth pops open a little more with her shock, "hey, where do you think my manipulation skills came from? Definitely not Papá. He's one of the most genuine people I know."

"I don't think you realize that you actually do possess that quality," Quinn says shaking her head, rolling her eyes and then finally looking away from me.

Not really knowing what to say, I turn and look at Rachel who has this goofy half grin on her lips. I feel her hand slide onto my thigh and after a little squeeze she says, "She's right you know. Of course you're very selective in who you show that side of you to, but you are genuine nonetheless. It's quite beautiful actually."

"I love you... so much," is really all I can get out because that lip gravity thing is happening. I can't even let her say it back, I just have to kiss her.

"Ew."

"Shut up, Q," I say without even opening my eyes. When I do open them, I turn to her and say, "don't act like you weren't just thinking about what doing the same thing with your barista over there would be like."

Quinn's face turns an impossible shade of red and she directs all of her attention to her barely touched latte.

"Give her your number, Q," I say softly. I made sure that it didn't come out like a demand. That tactic hasn't been working.

"She's right over there," Rachel says, nodding in the direction of the sugar station, "you can go over there acting like you're getting a sugar packet or some napkins and then give her that paper."

"I ca- okay," Quinn says suddenly completely determined. She gets up, flattens out the front of her dress and grabs the piece of paper that she wrote her name and number on from the middle of the table. "Wish me luck."

"You don't need it," I say with a smile.

"Break a leg," Rachel says because she thinks wishing someone "good luck" is actually bad luck in no matter what forum.

Quinn takes a deep breath and then turns around to walk over to the station that RJ has been replacing napkins at. We know that Quinn is nervous, but she doesn't look it. She gets to the counter and reaches for a napkin from the dispenser next to the one that RJ is filling, causing RJ to pause what she's doing and look next to her. Instantly a smile smacks onto her face and I can see her say, "Hi Quinn." Unfortunately, they're out of earshot and I can't hear what they're saying. I also can't read lips very well. Hey, you can't possess every skill there is out there.

"Can you tell what they're saying?" Rachel whispers to me as she puts her hand in mine and her chin on my shoulder.

"Not a word beyond 'Hi Quinn,'" I say with disappointment.

"Well, they're both still smiling."

"And Quinn's mouth is moving."

Rachel gives my thigh a little slap with her free hand. I turn my head to watch her watching Quinn. She's so excited, it's adorable. I move in to kiss her cheek when she starts tapping on my thigh, "She's doing it! She's giving her the paper!"

I completely abandon the kiss and direct my attention to Quinn and RJ. I look just in time to see the paper enter RJ's hand. She opens up the little piece of paper, reads it and then smiles back at Quinn. I can't quite make out what she's saying but I think the word 'definitely' was in there. Then RJ motions to the registers, probably indicating that she has to go back.

Then, Quinn does something totally unexpected. Like, her prior actions and reactions to things that Rachel and I have said would never make me think that she would do this. As she's saying whatever she's saying to RJ, she lets her hand come up and her finger tips lightly run down RJ's forearm.

"Oh. My. God."

"You saw that, right?"

"Our baby's all grown up," I say my best impression of a proud parent.

"I think she will punch you in the face if you say something like that to her," Rachel says as we watch Quinn walk back to us, "and I will probably let her." What? "Hey Quinn!"

I think that Quinn is experiencing a high at the moment. When she gets to the table she simply pulls out the chair and sits down. She has this ridiculous smile on her face and she isn't talking.

She will though.

"So, I take it things went well?" I ask leaning into the table a little bit.

"Mhm," Quinn answers simply.

"What did she say when you gave her your number?" Rachel asks, clearly with the hope of getting more than a hum out of the lovestruck blonde across the table from us.

"That she'd definitely be using it," Quinn answers all dreamily.

"What what!"

"Quinn, that's so great! We're so happy for you!"

"And we saw you getting bold up there with that arm stroke. Very smooth," I say with an approving nod.

"It wasn't too much?" Quinn asks nervously.

"No way!" Rachel answers.

Quinn looks down at her hand and smiles.

"Umm... you aren't going to say something like, 'I'm never washing this hand again' are you? Because that's weird and if you keep that up you could wind up not wanting to wash your whole body," I say sarcastically and not really thinking about it.

Quinn's thinking about it though. She swallows hard and shifts in her seat.

"San..."

"What? Like she's never thought about it before," I say defensively.

"I... I really hadn't..." Quinn says quietly, "until now. Oh god. This is terrifying... and intriguing, but definitely very terrifying."

"Q, calm down. Worry about a date first. That's how this goes," I say trying really hard to calm her down.

"Unless you're us," Rachel pipes in with a little chuckle and clearly forgetting that not everyone knows about our unconventional beginning.

I roll my eyes knowing full well what's coming out of confused Quinn's mouth next, "Umm... what?"

I'm keeping my mouth shut. This was Rachel's spill, not mine. She can figure out what to do with this one.

"Oh, well, we..." Rachel starts but Quinn's cell phone lights up with a text message.

I sneak a peak at the screen and see that it's from a phone number and not a name from her contacts.

It has to be RJ.

Saved.

Quinn snatches the phone off the table and her face lights up as she's reading it.

"What's it say?" I ask nosily.

Quinn takes a breath and says, "She wants to know what I'm doing tonight-"

"Nothing!" Rachel bursts out, "I mean, tell her that you don't have any plans... yet. Just like that. Put in an ellipses between plans and yet."

"I almost can't believe you just used the word ellipses," I say as Quinn types out her response to RJ.

"Almost?" Rachel asks.

"Well, grammar is like, one of your things. Of course you'd say ellipses instead of dot dot dot," I say through a tiny laugh.

"You love it," Rachel says over confidently.

"I sure do," I say and rub our noses together.

And a gasp from Quinn.

"What?" Rachel and I ask in unison.

"She just asked me if I like Mexican food," Quinn says without looking up from her phone.

"You love Mexican," I say wondering what the problem she's having with this is.

"I know..."

"So, what's the issue?"

"She's asking me out, isn't she?" Quinn asks with a panicked look on her face.

Okay, what happened to the Quinn that gave her phone number to the girl she likes and then stroked her arm all sexy?

"Quinn, stop panicking. Tell her that you love Mexican, because you do and then when she asks you to go out with her tonight, say yes because you want to. Then when she tries to kiss you, let her because you definitely want to kiss her," Rachel says in a way that reminds me of Brittany talking to me three months ago.

After a few moments of contemplation, Quinn says, "You're right. I do want this. I'm not just going to tell her that I do like Mexican though. I can answer these questions without you dictating what to say."

"Good," I say, "Because we won't be there to dictate what you say on this date tonight. We have plans."

"We do?" Rachel asks cluelessly.

We do and it involves a certain card. "Uh huh," I say and then as slightly as I can so that Quinn can't see, I poke my tongue at the inside of my cheek.

"Oh," Rachel says and then shifts in her seat, "kay." She turns to Quinn and says, "Yeah, we have plans tonight."

"All night?" Quinn deadpans.

"Possibly," I answer popping up my eyebrows at Rachel.

"No, not all night," Rachel says through a scowl, "I have camp tomorrow."

Then Quinn gets a text, smiles and feverishly types out a response. After hitting send, she looks over towards the register to see RJ get the message.

"What did you say after the Mexican question?" I ask.

"I asked her if she was asking me out on a date," Quinn says with a shrug, "and then she said, 'That was my plan, but you're kind of skipping the steps I'd laid out for myself,'" Quinn reads off of her phone.

"Oh great, another sarcastic lesbian, just what we need," Rachel sighs and shakes her head.

I chuckle a little and then ask, "What did you just say to her?"

Quinn smiles, seeming very proud of this response and says, "I told her that Mexican is my favorite and that I'd love to go out with her tonight."

And then as if that were a prompt, Quinn gets another message.

"Well?" Rachel asks leaning in probably trying to read the message.

"Eight o'clock at Acapulco's. We're going to meet there. That's appropriate for a first date, right?" Quinn asks as if she's never been on one before.

"Yeah, sure. You know, just in case," I answer hopefully reassuring her.

"Everything is going to be fine," Rachel says and then looks at me quickly. Turning back to Quinn she says, "You can get ready at our house if you want to. We can give you a pep talk before you head out."

Crap. You know, I was really hoping to utilize the trip that Rachel's dads left for today. They're only gone tonight! I can't believe Rachel is sabotaging sexytimes! People as horny as Rachel don't cock block themselves. Something is wrong.

"Thanks. I might need it."

"You just think you do," I say rolling my eyes and thinking about all the sex I won't be having.

"Thinking is enough," Rachel says.

Christ!

"Is everyone done with their cups? I'm gonna go throw them out," I say gathering the empty cups and getting up.

"All set."

"I'm done, beautiful," Rachel answers through her sweet voice.

As I'm walking up to the counter that the phone number exchange went down, my pocket buzzes with a text message. After I throw out the cups I pull out my phone and read the message.

From Rach*:  
><strong>Don't worry beautiful, once she's gone, you get whatever you want.<strong>

I look up and turn around catching Rachel's eyes instantly. She gives me a wink and then pops her eyebrows up.

I should probably clean up the mess she just made.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Sorry this took so long. Bad case of the writer's block. The next chapter that I'm writing should flow a lot better so the next one should be up much quicker. Hope you enjoyed this one. Let me know what you think about what's going down. Thanks for everything as per usual!**

**Oh and for those of you who read We Laugh Just A Little Too Loud, I'm starting the sequel soon... because clearly sequels are kind of my thing.**


	12. Fantastic Conundrum

Seriously, all I know is that it's a Wednesday.

I think that Quinn brought her _entire_ closet with her. At the moment, every single sun dress, cardigan, flowy button down and pair of jeans that this girl owns is strewn about my room. She looked absolutely absurd when we opened the door for her. There was a pile of clothes and legs that we were welcoming into our home.

After about forty-five minutes of debating, we finally got Quinn settle on jeans, a striped tank, and a three quarter sleeve cardigan that matches the stripes on the tank perfectly. I did her make-up because she can't do smokey eyes and I can because I'm awesome. I also did this despite Rachel's protests. She tried so hard to convince Quinn to wear as little make-up as possible because usually when she shows up to the Lima Bean, she's barely wearing any and clearly RJ likes her the way she is. Like every normal teenage girl however, Quinn has her confidence issues and insisted on the eye make-up. She did go for the more natural toned gloss though, which was definitely a good choice.

And now it's 7:15 and Rachel promised Quinn a pep talk.

Let's see how this goes:

"So, how are you feeling?" Rachel asks Quinn who has been sitting stock still on a stool that we borrowed from the kitchen in the middle of Rachel's room.

"Terrified," Quinn mumbles and then turns her head towards the mirror to look at herself for the eighty-six-thousandth time in the last 45 minutes.

"God, Q! Chill out, will you? It's just dinner!" I say plopping myself onto Rachel's bed. Really I just want Quinn out of the house so I can gets my lady lovin' on.

Quinn just huffs and crosses her arms, slouching a little bit.

"Don't listen to her," Rachel says to Q but gives me a scowl, "she just wants to get you out of here so that we can have sex. Little does she know that if she keeps it up she won't be getting any."

And the wheels on the bus go round and round all over Santana.

"Ew," Quinn says under her breath.

Rachel and I look at each other with I'm assuming identical inquisitive eyes. Then my nostrils flare with the slight rage I'm feeling over Quinn's burst of hypocrisy. Silently, I ask Rachel if I can say what I'm thinking. She rolls her eyes and mouths "fine," but gives me a stern look that tells me not to actually speak my mind.

Fine. I won't. But Quinn is definitely getting a piece of it.

"Now, I just want to clarify something here, in the minutes before your date with a girl, are you 'ewing' the thought of lesbian sex in general or the thought of Rachel and I having sex?" I pause for a moment knowing full well that Q doesn't have an answer, just a surprised expression and then continue, "Because I'm having a hard time figuring out how you could possibly be disgusted by either since A) you could be having your own lesbian sexcapades in the near future and B) Rachel and I are both ridiculously hot, so what on earth makes you think that the sex we have isn't just the same? Actually, I'm surprised we haven't burned down the house... or Rachel's car... or the auditorium..."

I look over at Rachel because I'm sure I've gone just a little too far and then out of nowhere she opens her mouth and says, "Or the doctor's office."

I love her.

"Okay! Okay! I get it!" Quinn yells.

The only sound that can be heard are the tiny snickers that Rachel and I keep letting out. I know that if I try to say anything else it will turn into a full fledged crack up and then both of us will be lost.

Our tiny bursts of laughter are interrupted, "The auditorium, really? I mean, a make-out session is one thing but..."

"Right on the piano," I say and bite my bottom lip thinking about how hot it actually was... too bad we couldn't finish... although, I really can't say the actual result of that wasn't better.

"I'm not sure that one really counts," Rachel says scrunching her face up and shaking her head.

Oh it definitely counts! "I had to wipe things off and you had to readjust things. We totally would have finished if the little drummer boy-"

"He's the bassist-"

"Irrelevant. It counts."

"Okay! You _attempted_ to have sex on the piano in the auditorium. Established. Can we deal with my impending panic attack instead of clarifying the details of your sex life?" Quinn shouts as she jumps off of the stool and starts pacing the room.

Now it's 7:30.

"Quinn, I think I need you to express what it is you are actually so nervous about," Rachel says walking over to the door frame of her exercise room and leaning on it.

Still pacing a hole into Rachel's floor, Quinn frantically starts talking, "What if she asks me if I'm a lesbian? What if she asks me if I've ever had a girlfriend before? What if she doesn't like me when she gets to know me? What if she asks me about Beth?"

"WHOA! Whoa! Whoa! Q, why the hell would she ask you about a child she knows nothing about? She goes to a different school!" I shout at her because I think it's the only way to get through her crazy.

"I... don't know..."

"And you should answer her questions honestly. Tell her that you're bisexual and you've never had a girlfriend before but it's because you haven't given yourself the opportunity to," Rachel says quite intelligently and in this tone that's really supportive.

"If she gets on you about being bisexual, because she's blatantly a dyke, then she's also a bitch because every good lesbian knows that girls are quite susceptible to sexual fluidity."

Quinn has stopped pacing and Rachel is walking forward towards me. When she gets to me she puts her hand on my forehead.

"What the hell?"

"Your temperature is normal," Rachel says taking a step back.

"You look normal, too," Quinn says with her quirked eyebrow.

They're questioning my knowledge! Both of them!

"I read, you know."

"Yeah, at warp speed, we know," Quinn says with her arms crossed and her back to the mirror, for once.

Maybe I should explain where this came from...

"Okay so I was curious about something and did some research a couple years ago... the internet is really the only place to go when you're too scared to ask an adult..." I look up from the floor that I've been staring at and Rachel and Quinn are standing next to each other, both with their arms crossed and perplexed looks on their faces. Christ. "I wanted to see if hooking up with Brittany was normal," I blurt out, "some things said it was and some said it wasn't. I didn't know what to believe, but it felt good, so clearly we kept doing it. And how can there possibly be anything wrong with what Rachel and I have now?"

"There isn't," Quinn says stepping off of the dresser, "And I think I'm ready for this date now."

Good thing, it's 7:40 and Acapulco's is actually fifteen minutes away.

"Wait, what?" Rachel asks with some shock.

"Santana's right, there's nothing wrong with this," Quinn shrugs and grabs her keys off of the dresser, "that's what I've really been worried about. Okay, I have to go." She takes one last look at herself in the mirror, smiles and then turns back around, "Walk me to the door?"

"Of course," Rachel answers and then opens the door for Quinn to walk out. She shoots me a look that clearly means I have to join. I wasn't going to go get the strap-on or anything instead... no, of course not.

Plan saboteur.

"I'll come back for all of my stuff tomorrow, if that's okay?" Quinn asks.

"Perfect," I answer because I DO NOT want her returning tonight.

"Break a leg, Quinn. I'm going to hug you now," Rachel says opening up her arms for the hug.

"Okay," Quinn says through the same laugh that everyone else seems to give after she says that to them.

"Yeah, good luck, Q," I say from the stairs, "and if anything happens don't be afraid to call... Brittany."

Rachel gives me a look and Quinn laughs. Then, finally, Q opens the door, smiles and walks out! We watch her get into her old school red Beetle and drive off.

Rachel closes the door and when she turns around, I am right there with my arms around her, "I was seriously starting to think she wasn't going to leave."

"I'm a little mad at you right now," Rachel says crossing her arms, creating space between us. She hasn't taken any steps back though making it easy to keep my arms around her waist.

What the hell have I done now? I'm not letting her go until she tells me.

"Why are you 'a little mad' at me right now?"

"Because."

"Because is not a complete thought. Because is what you say when you have _more_ to say." I tug at her waist, pulling her in closer but causing her crossed arms to dig into me a little bit.

She has nothing to follow up her 'because.'

"You know, angry Rachel is _really_ sexy and the more you scrunch your face at me like that, the more I just want to tear all of your clothes off." That should make this a little more difficult for her.

Rachel uncrosses her arms and tries to push off of my shoulders. Nope. Not happening. When that fails, she puts this super fake smile on her face that just makes me laugh, making her mad again.

Quite the vicious cycle I've created.

"I suggest you tell me why you're mad at me, or this is never going to end," I say keeping my wrists crossed at the small of her back, but sliding my fingers past the waist band of her underwear to rest on her butt.

She lets out this awkward combination of a huff and a sigh and then starts mumbling things under breath.

"I'm standing completely in your personal bubble and I can't a hear a single word of what you're saying right now," I say uncrossing my wrists and diving my hands further into the back of her shorts, kneading away at her cheeks.

This time, a moan escapes her lips. Clearly, her body has betrayed her and she isn't happy about it. She huffs again and then finally says, "I was supposed to give Quinn the pep talk!"

"Seriously?" I've stopped moving my hands on her ass and now they're just resting on it.

"What?"

"That's what you're mad about?"

"Yes," she whines.

This is ridiculous, "That wasn't even my fault! How was I supposed to know she was going to take my impulsive rant and run away with it? You're acting like you didn't even get a _chance_ to help!"

"Well...?"

"Well, what? Babe, trust me, you were a lot more helpful than I was. I was too busy trying to get her out of the house to get to this," I finally release her from the grip I've had her in, indicating 'us' with my arms.

She isn't moving. Instead she takes her arms and wraps them around my waist, resting her hands on the small of my back. I quirk my eye brow up making the confusion in my brain known to her.

"I guess one of us had to be pushy..." she trails the sentence off as she takes a small step into me.

What is she doing? She was just mad at me, wasn't she? Did I miss a section of this conversation?

The hand sliding down, into the front of my shorts is not helping my confusion.

"Rach?"

"Mhm?"

"What are you do..." my speech hitches as a finger dips in between my lips and gently slides up to my clit, "...ing?"

"Testing a hypothesis," she says with this pleased look. She takes her hand out of my shorts and brings her finger to her mouth to suck it clean. "Mmmm," she hums and then slowly draws it out from between her lips, "it seems to be right."

I can't breathe, by the way. I mean, I can, but this is just... wait... "a hypothisis?" What is this, a science fair project?

"Umm..." I try to swallow to remedy the dry throat that I'm experiencing, "have you been playing me?"

"Well, I wouldn't put it that way," she pouts. Still playing me. "I just... wanted to try something and let me tell you, your frustration has left me thoroughly aroused," she completes the sentence with a little nibble of her bottom lip.

In a voice that I can feel coming out of the bottom of my lungs and after another gulp attempting to relieve my throat's dryness, "What was your theory?"

"If Rachel gets mad, then Santana gets wet. Really wet apparently," she says with a little... sexy... smirk.

Well, that isn't a very good hypothesis, "I'm pretty sure I told you that an angry Rachel is a sexy Rachel."

"You didn't tell me that _before_ I was 'mad' at you."

"Sneaky."

"I know," she bites lightly down on her lip again. "Wanna go upstairs?" she asks through dark eyes and a tone dripping with lust.

"I was getting worried that you weren't going to ask," I smirk at her and grab her hand to lead her up the stairs.

I start to lead her into my room but just as I'm pushing open the door, I remember that _all_ of Quinn's closet is in there taking up every possible inch of space. I sigh one of those throaty sighs that we all love so much and Rachel says, "Why don't you go grab... you know. I want to do something really quick," she says nodding towards her room.

"Okay?" I say not knowing what she could possibly need to do and head into my room.

Hmm... should I put it on? Uh... I'm not really sure how I feel about walking around with it on... even if her dads aren't here. I'm definitely not going to put it on and then put clothes on over it. That's just too weird for me. I might want Rachel to give me a blow job, but I _definitely_ DO NOT want a dick.

I think I'm just going to take the box with me to her room.

Her door is locked!

"Rach?" I shout as I shake the door knob as if that's going to get me past the locked door.

"Just a second," I hear her say from kind of far from the door.

"Babe, what are you doing?"

"You'll see!"

I hear the click of the lock being undone and the the slight creak of the door hinges. And then: Oh. My. God.

My lungs just aren't functioning.

Directly in front of me, is the most unbelievably sexy and kinky thing I have ever seen in my entire life. The door opened, revealing my gorgeous, nearly naked girlfriend. My eyes first meet with hers, then trail down her bare chest and land on the part that makes her _nearly_ naked: the skirt. The plaid school girl skirt. Not just any plaid school girl skirt, but the one she wore the week we were all obsessed with Britney Spears. She still has one hand on the door knob and is leaning on it with her legs crossed.

I know that I've seen this before, but for some reason this is totally different. She did this on her own. For me.

"Good, you brought the whole thing," she says walking up to me and taking the shoe box that I completely forgot I was holding. Tossing the lid behind her, she starts digging through the cards with one hand. She stops rifling through, puts a card in between her teeth and then starts a search again.

My mouth is wide open. I can feel my lips, my tongue and my throat getting dry all over again. I don't think I can close it though.

After she finds a second card, she removes the first from between her teeth and hands me the box saying, "Two birds."

She doesn't even have to show me the cards.

"So, are you going to come in here or are you going to stand there gaping at me all night," she asks popping up her eye brows.

I finally close my mouth and attempt to lick my lips. It's absolutely useless. Then I make the mistake of trying to talk and instead of an "um" coming out of my mouth all that happens is a loud exhale. Rachel rolls her eyes and grabs my hand, pulling me into her room. She takes the box away from me again but this time she removes the harness with our purple, extra appendage attached to it. I watch as a smirk appears on her face and I can tell that she's gotten some idea into her head. After putting the box down on her dresser, she holds up the strap on and stares at the dildo for a for a few seconds. Once she's holding it in front of her face, she shifts her gaze to me, catching my eyes. It takes me a couple seconds to notice that the tip of the purple silicon she's been grasping is getting closer to her mouth. I really can't breathe now. Without breaking eye contact, Rachel slowly slips her tongue out from behind her lips and licks the tip of the silicon that's going to be on me very soon. _Very soon_.

Once upon a time, if someone had told me that Rachel Berry was the sexiest, horniest and most kinky girl they knew, I would have passed out laughing.

I think I unleashed something three months ago and I regret nothing.

I finally inhale and snap out of my daze. I need to be wearing that. After shaking my head a little I yank my shirt off, unclasp my bra and pull down my shorts as fast as I possibly can. Rachel giggles a little and then gets down on her knees in front of me to have me step into the harness. As she's lifting it up my legs, she places kisses up my thighs and just before she brings it to my center, her lips land at the top of my lips causing a moan to just slip right out of me. I look up and focus my eyes on other things in the room as she tightens the straps around my hips.

I have my own hypothesis: If I'm this turned on now, then I'm going to explode when she actually goes down on me.

Rachel stands up, sliding her hand up my body and landing on one of my breasts. She squeezes it and catches my lips with hers. Another moan happens allowing her access to the inside of my mouth. Her other hand moves down from my hip to the apparatus I'm wearing.

Breaking the kiss that I don't seem to have the brain capacity for, Rachel says, "I was thinking that the fellatio should come first. It really only seems right, at least from what I've witnessed."

She's completely serious, by the way. Okay, Santana, don't laugh. Do not laugh. Even though you know for a fact that she's talking about porn. And used the word fellatio. Oh god. I can't stop it.

"Babe," I squeak out before a gigantic wave of laughter spews out of me.

"Santana Lopez, I demand you stop laughing this instant," she stomps her foot and crosses her arms, giving me her angriest scowl.

After taking a few steadying breaths, I say to her, "I'm sorry, it's just... well... you used the word fellatio and..." a chuckle escapes and I feel instant guilt.

"And?"

"Did you do... umm..." What's the best word for this? "...research?"

She scrunches her face and huffs, "well, it's not like I've ever given a... a blow job before..."

There's this ridiculous smile on my face right now. I know it. I can't take my eyes off of her either.

"What?" she asks suddenly looking really self-conscious, a look I'm really not used to seeing in scenarios as such.

Hmmm... how do I say this? "It's just that... I don't know how you can manage be so adorable and so sexy all at once. It's the most fantastic conundrum of the century."

"I love when you say intelligent things like that," she says stepping in closer to me again. She reaches down and tugs on the dildo between us, "I wanted to jump you during your whole sexual fluidity speech."

"Nothing is stopping you now."

"Nope," she whispers and tugs on the dildo harder for me to walk with her to the bed.

"I'm positive I've told that you're lucky this isn't real," I say as she continues tugging me over to the bed.

After stopping next to the bed, Rachel says, "As much as I'm all for the rights of our transgendered and transexual brothers and sisters... it would be really weird if this was real," giving it one last tug that makes my hips go with it.

I can't stop the laugh that comes out of my mouth. I love her so fucking much. I just have to kiss her. Have to. And now that my brain is working again, I can participate in our usual tongue battle... or not. Rachel doesn't seem to be fighting me like she usually does. I mean as much as I like having free rule over her mouth, I _really_ like clashing with her in a war for dominance.

"Hey, are you nervous... or something?" I ask pressing our foreheads together.

She shakes her head and then kisses me softly. "Sit down," she says biting down a little on her lip.

I do as I'm told and watch her take a deep breath before getting down on her knees in front of me. She looks nervous. "Babe," I say lifting her chin with my finger, "you don't have to do this. I only put it there becmmm..."

"I want to," Rachel says with her hand covering my mouth, "it's just that... I'm not really sure what I'm doing..."

After she takes her hand off of my mouth, I bend down a little to kiss her and then say, "Just to let you in on a little secret: I'm not going to be able to feel it, so whatever you do will be perfect. Just seeing you lick it earlier rendered my brain useless..." I leave it at that hoping that she catches what I'm trying get to her.

"Like..." she lowers her head back down and looks down at the purple silicon protruding from me, "... this?" She sticks out her tongue and licks the tip the same way she did before and just like before, my brain has stopped functioning properly.

"Yuh huh," I husk out.

I hear a tiny laugh and then watch as she licks up the bottom of the shaft. Once her head is back up, she shifts her eyes up to meet mine. She smiles. It's probably because my breathing is clearly uneven and my facial expression is showing exactly what I'm feeling. Which is like mush... imagine what that expression looks like.

Or maybe the smile was for what she's going to next? She licks around the head and instead of picking of her head up like before, she wraps her lips around what she just licked and then picks her head back up.

I'm dead.

That's it.

I can't even sit up anymore. My back hits the mattress, but I have to keep watching her. Looking down past my tits and over my abs, I watch as Rachel wraps her lips around the dildo again.

"Don't use your teeth," I whisper out of my dry mouth.

"You just told me you can't feel it," she says looking up at me and then putting the head back into her mouth.

"I know," I breathe, "but I don't think that thing is bite mark proof."

"Point taken."

She goes back to the dildo, bobbing her head a little bit now. Then, I feel her hand sliding up the inside of my thigh... then fingers slipping between my lips... and then moving up to my clit.

Between the circles her thumb is rubbing, her other hand stroking the shaft of the dildo and her mouth doing whatever it's doing I... ay dios mio.

"¡Ay dios mio! Querida, tú... tú... ay..."

All at once, Rachel thrust her fingers into me and deep throated the dildo. She isn't even gagging. She just... fuck... no more thinking. Thinking stops when your clit is getting rubbed, your g spot is getting found with every thrust and your ridiculously hot girlfriend is giving you a strap on blow job... a totally porn-worthy blow job at that... don't tell her I said that.

"Uuuuhhh... fuck... Rachel... mmm... FUUCK!"

I... fuck... yeah about that thinking thing... not happening. I'm just gonna... umm... lie here for a few...

"How was that?" Rachel asks from my shoulder.

When did she get there?

"That was... umm... words... are..."

"Should I take that as a 'good?'" she asks, tracing circles on my chest.

"Better than," is what I manage to breathe out.

"So," Rachel starts as she trails her finger tips down to one of my nipples, "ready for part two?"

Oh my god, I forgot there's more, "yeah... umm... maybe in a minute... do you not have a gag reflex?"

Okay so my thought process is a little shot.

She laughs into my shoulder then looks up and says, "This one time I tried to make myself vomit at school for some absurd reason probably having to do with Quinn... I don't want to talk about it... and Miss Pillsbury caught me. Well, she caught me not being able to do it and I think I said 'I guess I just don'y have a gag reflex' and she said to me," she stops for a second to laugh again, "she said, 'one day you'll consider that a blessing' or something like that."

"I hope Mr. Schue is tapping that, because I bet she's a freak!" Oh my god I have to tell her about this, "Remember when we were doing _Rocky Horror _and Miss Pillsbury was still with that dentist?"

"Yeah, he flipped out on Mr. Schuester about something," she says propping herself up on her elbow.

"Britt and I totally saw what he had flipped out about. Schue and Miss Pillsbury were rehearsing 'Touch-A-Touch-A Touch Me' and they were _all over_ each other. It was gross! Oh and Miss Pillsbury: thirty-something year-old virgin," I say rolling over to face her, finally finding some energy to move my body.

"Don't make fun of her, she's a good person," Rachel scoffs at me and flicks my nipple.

"Ow! Fine! Let's not talk about our teachers' sex lives anymore. There are much more pressing matters to be taken care of," I bite down on my lip and run my hand up her thigh, under her skirt and land on her ass.

"Come on," she says sitting up and urging me off the bed with her.

"Where are we going?" I ask as she walks me towards the door.

"This is a fantasy, we have to do it right," she says with a wink and stops at her dresser. "I am a perfectionist, you know," and with that, she bends over placing her hands on the top of the dresser and sticking her ass out towards me.

I didn't realize two things earlier 1) her skirt is much higher than usual and 2) she's wearing Mary Janes. Best girlfriend ever. Seriously.

"Are you just going to stare at my ass or are you going to fuck me like I know you want to?"

I can't believe she just said that.

One hand on the dildo and the other reaching out for the body part I've been staring at, I take the two steps forward that are necessary to do just what she suggested I want to. Before starting that though, I _have_ to do something: I bring the hand I have on her ass back and send it forward again connecting with her flesh, causing a loud smack.

"Do it again," she moans.

I spank her a little harder this time causing her to grunt, "You like that, huh? You're being a bad girl, you know?"

"Only for you," she says heavy excess breath.

"Because you're mine?"

Ooo... where did that come from? She is _not_ going to like that. I should probably kiss this fantasy good-

"Yes," she breathes out, "I'm completely yours... oh fuck! Santana!"

So my response to her saying that was to thrust into her. I really couldn't stop myself, it was like a reflex. It might have been a little too rough; I'm gonna start out slow.

My hips take up a slow, steady rhythm, thrusting in and out of Rachel. Every few thrusts, I give her ass a light smack. Soft moans come from the girl in front of me as I draw in and out of her.

"Mmm... faster, San," she moans out slowly.

Picking up my pace, my hips find a new rhythm. I shift my eyes from the silicone easily gliding in and out of Rachel to the rest of her body. I watch as her hand adjusts to grasp the lip of the dresser. I listen as her breaths get shallower and her moans get louder.

Taking my left hand off of her hip, I bring my fingers to my mouth getting them as wet as possible. As I pick up my hips' pace once again, I bring my freshly moistened fingers to her clit and start the up, down, circle pattern I know she likes so much.

"Oh... oh don't stop, San... oh fuck... fuck!"

By now, my pelvis is smacking into her ass causing her to jolt forward with every thrust into her, despite me pulling on her hip. My fingers' motions on her clit have gotten harder and faster as well and I just know she has to be close.

"Fuck... I..." and for the first time ever that squeak that lets me know her orgasm has unleashed itself has come out in the form of a word: "SAN!"

As the sound of my name being squeaked out echoes through my head, I slow down my thrusting, but make sure to press deep into her with every one. Each slow thrust results in a whimper of pleasure and a slight shudder. I keep it up until I'm sure she's had enough and the instant I stop and slowly pull out of her, Rachel's arms give out. Before she can land flat on her face, I catch her by wrapping my arms around her waist. Doing this causes the dildo to push down and slide between her legs. She shudders once more in my arms and I can only assume that it hit something.

"Think you can stand up?" I ask and place a kiss between her shoulder blades.

"Yeah," she breathes out and stands up straight, turning around in my arms, "walking might be totally different though."

"You're okay, right? I didn't-"

"Shut up," she says through a laugh, then starts loosening the straps around my hips. As I finish what she started, she takes a couple steps towards the bed and then stops.

"Uuhh... are you hurt?" I ask suddenly feeling really panicked.

"No... I think I'm... I think 'fucked' is the best way to describe this feeling. I'm going to go to the bathroom really quick. I'll take this with me," she says walking back to me and taking the harness out of my hands.

I watch her walk down the hall to the bathroom. She isn't limping, it's more of a slight hobble with an adjustment being made every couple steps.

As I'm making my way back to the bed, I see that my phone is blinking. This better not be from Quinn, she left an hour ago. Ahh... it's from Britt.

**From Britt Britt:**  
>Quinn is on a date with that girl right now? And y didnt I find out sooner?<p>

Okay, I totally would have told her. You know me! But Rachel told me not to. Enough said. I wonder how she found out?

**To Britt Britt:  
><strong>I'm sorry! Rach told me not to tell ANYONE! How'd you find out?

**From Britt Britt:  
><strong>1) Whipped 2) you just told me. Q told me she was busy 2nite so I just guessed.

Crap.

I guess of all the people to find out Brittany's the one Q would care the least about.

"Who are you texting?" Rachel asks as she puts the strap on down on the dresser.

"Britt-"

"You didn't tell her about Quinn's date did you?" she asks as she's crawling into bed with me.

"Not on purpose. B's a good guesser. And sneaky."

"Touche," she says as she snuggles into my side.

**To Britt Britt:**  
>Hey I g2g. Let's hang out 2morrow.<p>

**From Britt Britt:**  
>Def. Enjoy naked time with Rach!<p>

"Yup, a really good guesser," I say and show Rachel my latest text from Brittany.

She just laughs into my shoulder and snuggles even closer into me.

"Tired?" I ask and then kiss her head.

"I don't think I can go again, San," she says looking up to me with her chin on my chest.

"I wasn't even gonna ask that!"

"Oh. Sorry."

I roll my eyes and say, "I was going to ask if you wanted to watch a movie."

"I don't really want to get up... or get dressed," she whines and pouts.

"Babe, there's a TV and a DVD player in your room," I say pointing in front of us to the TV stand between her dresser and her closet.

"Oh yeah. I guess I use it so little I forgot it was even in here. All the movies are downstairs though," she whines again.

"Not all of them. I'll be right back I promise," I kiss her forehead and despite her physical protests, I get out of the bed and make my way to room. Once again I've forgotten that there's a flood of someone else's clothing in here and I have to toss some of it around before I find the big black CD binder I brought over from my house. I flip the alphabetically ordered DVD and grab the only "I" that I have.

"There's no violence in this is there?" Rachel asks when I get back.

"Maybe. I don't remember. You're gonna like this though, I promise," I say and start everything up. I grab the remote and rejoin Rachel in the bed. She sits up a little and finds her place under my arm and on my chest.

"Are those girls holding hands behind that guys back?" she asks as I'm pushing play. I just laugh and pull her into me even closer.

"Just watch, babe."

...

"They can't do that! They're in love!"

"But she's married."

"So, that's what divorces are for!"

"Wow, I'm shocked. Rachel Berry is advocating for divorce."

"What?"

"Nothing. I just always figured you were anti-divorce."

"I'm not. I'm anti-unhappiness. Sometimes divorce can cure unhappiness. Are you telling me that you don't think she should leave her husband for Luce?"

"Of course I do. I was just playing Devil's Advocate," I say kissing her forehead.

"You're a pain," she says and then places her head back onto my chest.

Is that my phone buzzing? Who the fuck is calling me right now?

"Ugh," I groan as I reach for the phone. "You have got to be kidding me!"

"Who is it?"

"Quinn," I say making my frustration clear, "I know I told her to call Brittany!"

"Answer it," she sighs.

"Fine. This better be good Q," I say into the phone knowing that I'm going to get a pinch from Rachel.

"Can I come over? I know I said I'd be over tomorrow to get my stuff, but can I come over, like, now?" she sounds kind of frantic and worried.

"You couldn't call Brittany?" I ask, trying not to sound to agitated.

"I would have, but Brittany doesn't care about what people think about her..."

Oh shit.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Happy New Year! Hope you liked this! Let me know!**


	13. Happy Cloud

Quinn'll be here in ten minutes.

Rachel and I are begrudgingly getting dressed. For once neither one of us actually wants to help, but we kind of feel obligated. We did sort of push this.

"Sweetheart?"

"Yeah, babe?" I respond as I pull my shorts on.

"Why are we so nice?" she sighs and plops down on the end of the bed.

"This one is totally on you," I say sitting down next her.

"Hey!"

"Well, I was a complete bitch before you. Now I'm just kind of a bitch," I say with a smile and a nudge to her shoulder.

"You know what? I love you this much," she says with a cute smirk and her thumb and forefinger about a half an inch apart from each other. My mouth goes wide with shock and she giggles, "times infinity."

"Oh, well that's a lot," I say through a smile and lean in to kiss her.

"How much do you love me?" she asks excitedly and then turns her body around so she's sitting cross legged, facing me.

"Hmm..." I hum as I turn to sit the exact same way she is, "How big is the universe?"

She scrunches up her face in thought, "It can't be measured. It's endless..." a smile pops onto my face thinking about how clever I am, "oh." She smiles and shakes her head, looking down at the space in between us. Looking back up she says, "That was a good one."

"I know," I say with a shrug.

"So modest," she rolls her eyes and then leans forward onto her knees to kiss me.

And the door bell.

I sigh and say, "I'll get it. Finish watching the movie. It's almost over."

"Okay, sweetheart," she says giving me a soft kiss. As I'm about to walk out the door she calls out, "Don't be mean."

"See, this nice thing? All on you," I scowl at her.

"Go let our friend in," she scowls back and then pushes play on the remote.

"Pfft... friend..." I mumble as I walk down the hallway to the front staircase. "Okay, nice," I remind myself before I turn the doorknob and pull the door open. Standing on the porch in front of me is a really stressed out Quinn Fabray. "Uhh... Hey Q."

"I knew it was a bad idea," she says as she pushes through me to get into the house.

"Please, come in."

She stops in her tracks and turns around, "Where's Rachel?"

What am I not good enough? Be nice... gross.

"Upstairs finishing up a movie," I answer as I close the door.

"Oh shit. I didn't like, interrupt anything, did I?" she asks seeming like she actually cares.

"Just movie cuddle time... of the naked variety," Q closes her eyes and shakes her head, "TMI?"

"A little, yeah... I was really hoping I could talk to both of you," Quinn admits, looking up to the ceiling as if she's going to will Rachel down with her thoughts.

"You can, just in a few minutes. The movie's almost over. Do you want anything in the meantime? Water... some tequila... a horse tranquilizer...?" I ask only half joking about the last two.

"Water's cool," Quinn answers not seeming to even care about the joke I've made.

"Okay-"

"Actually, do you think Rachel's dads have some whiskey?" Quinn asks, suddenly awake again.

Channeling Rachel a little bit, "While I won't support you trying to drink your problems away, I think Hiram has some Jameson downstairs in the cabinet. I don't think he'll notice if a shot is gone."

"They didn't put a lock on it after we killed their entire stock that night?" Quinn asks as we head to the basement.

"No, I think they just trust that Rachel learned her lesson. They're cool like that." I lead her down the stairs to the Berry's basement. I've only been down here a few times since the party. Despite it having a ridiculous amount of stuff in it, it doesn't get used very often. I have to search around the bar for a shot glass and then have to open a couple of doors to find where the alcohol is. I grab the green bottle that I'm looking for and make sure that there's enough in it that Hiram... or Leroy... really won't notice a shot's worth is missing.

"You aren't gonna have something?" Q asks after I put only the one shot glass down.

"Rachel's going to be mad enough that you're drinking, I don't really want it to be doubled."

"Ahh... point taken," she says, takes a deep breath and then throws back the shot I poured for her. She clenches her teeth after she swallows down the burn.

"I was going to ask you if you wanted a chaser," I say as I produce a Diet Pepsi from the mini fridge under the bar.

"Thanks," she simply responds and cracks open the can. She isn't drinking it though, she's really just staring blankly at the bar top and noticeably chewing on the corner of her lips.

"If you don't drink that, Rachel is definitely going to smell the alcohol," I say nudging the can closer towards her hand.

"What?" Q asks, snapping out of her daze.

"Come on, maybe the movie's over," I say with all the empathy for her that I'm somehow developing, despite not knowing exactly what happened tonight.

She nods and pushes herself off of the bar, taking the can of soda with her. I motion for her to go up the stairs first and before I can even see the top of the stairs I hear, "I was wondering where you two were. Hey, Quinn."

"Hey, Rach," Quinn says halfheartedly. Her panic turned to depression really quick. Maybe whiskey wasn't the best idea...

Clearly sensing Quinn's mood, but also, clearly not thinking, Rachel grabs Quinn's wrist and pulls her into a hug. Quinn is stiff and Rachel has definitely noticed the alcohol on her breath. She gives me a look. I mouth "sorry" and instantly she closes her eyes and shakes her head slightly in forgiveness.

"So," Rachel starts releasing Quinn from the awkward hug, "you _are_ going to tell us what happened tonight that has put you in this melancholy state, right?"

I see Quinn's shoulders shrug and then watch as she walks to a stool at the island. An eye roll is definitely in order, "Quinn, I didn't invite you over here so you can just sit here looking like a My Chemical Romance song."

I look over to Rachel, expecting her not to be pleased with me. Actually, she's stifling a laugh. She mouths, "Bad," to me through a smile and then pulls out the stool closest to Quinn. I'm the last to sit down, choosing a stool across the island. One person on the verge of invading Quinn's personal bubble is probably more than enough.

And there it goes. Slowly, Rachel inches her hand closer and closer to Quinn's. When they finally meet, Q's blank gaze shifts to them.

"It was perfect," Quinn mumbles just loud enough that I can decipher the words. Oh, it speaks. There's a slight smile on her face as she continues looking at hers and Rachel's hands.

"What... was perfect, Q?" I ask slowly. Is it weird that I'm sensing something... not right? Like, really not right.

"The date. RJ, which is for Rebecca Jean, by the way," she shrugs her shoulders in a laugh then says, "I joked that RJ is a much better idea. We talked the entire time, even when we had food in front of us."

"So the date went well...?" I ask, now confused as to why we're here. There has to be more to this story.

Looking back to the middle of the island, Quinn continues, "She's really great. She's sweet and funny and smart. She even paid," she smiles again and this time, turns her head to look at Rachel.

"Well, it is proper date etiquette for the person who requested the date, to pay for the date," Rachel says shooting me a glance and then winking.

Wait, I paid for our first date, right? Yeah, I did.

"We walked out together and she asked me if she could walk me to my car. I was in this like, happy cloud... it was weird, but it felt..."

"Right?" I finish her sentence without really thinking about it.

"Yeah. So right, that I didn't shy away when her hand slipped into mine. We got to my car and just kind of stood there... holding hands and smiling..." her smile slips away slowly, turning into the blank stare again, that is, until it turns into an angry stare, "and then that sound."

Rachel and I look at each other with questioning glances. I think we figure out what sound Q's talking about at relatively the same time.

A camera.

"A fucking camera," Quinn starts back up again, "he got at least six more shots before we really realized what was happening and RJ chased him away."

"Who?" Rachel asks.

"Jewfro," I answer with my fists clenched in front of me. Who else could it have possibly been?

"He yelled out 'Best summer vacation ever' while he was running away from RJ like the little pussy he is," Quinn says, rhythmically tapping her finger tips on the counter top.

"Quinn, if all he has are pictures, why are so worried? RJ looks like a boy," Rachel asks attempting to calm the again panicking Quinn down.

"She doesn't sound like one," Quinn mumbles.

I am fuming, by the way. Jacob Fuckhead Ben-Israel has no idea what he has gotten himself into. Fists still clenched, I slowly get up from the stool, walk around the island and start walking out of the kitchen.

"San, where are you going?" Rachel asks slowly.

"To exterminate vermin," I mutter as I'm stepping into the living room.

"Santana, you can't," Rachel calls out as she gets up from her stool. At least that's what it sounds like, I haven't looked back. I'm actually almost to the door. I'll just unclench a fist for a moment to grab my keys off of the table near the door-

"Santana Cristina Maria Lopez, you get your ass back in this kitchen right now!"

No she didn't.

With my hand on the door knob, I've been completely stopped, torn between following through with my threat and getting my ass back in the kitchen.

I don't want to, but I'm going back to the kitchen. Rachel will know how unhappy I am about it.

"What are you thinking, Santana? You can't just go to a person's house and beat him up! No matter how terrible that person is," Rachel shouts at me from the island. She's _actually _mad at me. This isn't the sexy mad that gets me all bothered. It's actually a little scary.

But see, here's the thing, "I promised Quinn that we'd have her back! That means not letting that Fuck spread her business all over the internet! I can't pound his rat-tastic face in from here!"

"You aren't pounding anyone's face-"

"He needs to be stopped, Rachel! Don't act like you haven't tried to stop him before," for Quinn, let me remind everyone... well, I'm sure it was actually for Finn, but Quinn would have benefited.

"I didn't resort to violence-"

"You gave him a pair of your underwear-"

"I bought a pair and gave it to him. And if I'd remembered to take the tag off it would have worked," she finishes in a mumble and rolls her eyes at herself.

Oh come on! We're in an argument! She's not allowed to be cute like that!

In a much calmer tone than before, "Rach, we have to stop him. Quinn, help me out here."

"Knowing him, we're probably too late," she says with this part angry, part heart-broken tone.

"Why don't we check?" Rachel comes in with some logic.

"Oh," Quinn and I say unison.

"I'll be right back," Rachel says, getting to the stairs before she even finishes the sentence.

"What were you planning on doing, anyways?" Quinn asks as I grab a stool to bring over to her.

"I don't know, I was just going to wing it. Maybe I'd just go all Lima Heights on his ass and steal his camera and his computer," I shrug as I sit down.

"As much as I appreciate the sentiment, I'm not sure I'd feel okay if you wound up in juvie for me," Quinn says in a way that makes it at least seem sincere.

"Well, Puck made it seem like it was heaven on Earth-"

"He was lying."

Quinn and I both turn around towards the familiar voice. Lo and behold, there's Brittany standing in the doorway between kitchen and the living room.

"He told Artie that he was scared shitless while he was there. You know, you guys should really lock your door. Anyone could just walk in here," she says walking over to us and taking the stool that Rachel was sitting in. "Hmm... I'm guessing your date with that cute girl from the Lima Bean wasn't the best," Britt says, giving Quinn's forearm one of those friend rubs.

"How did you...?"

"My fault," I confess before Quinn can be falsely worried about the bottom feeder's blog.

"Not entirely! I tricked her into telling me," Britt says clearly amused with herself.

"Of course you did," Quinn says with the first smile I've seen since she was talking about the good part of the date.

"Sorry this took so long... oh! Hi, Brittany," Rachel says noticing Brittany for the first time once she gets to the bottom of the stairs. She walks over and around the island, squeezing in between Quinn and me, placing her pink, completely stickered out lap top down on the counter top.

"Are we watching funny cat videos on YouTube?" Britt asks just after Rachel flips open the top.

"Not right now," I whisper to my left.

"Then what are we... Jewfro," Brittany interrupts herself through a scowl when his foul doucherrifc blog pops up on the screen. "Wait, what are you looking for?"

Quinn sighs and leans forward to look beyond Rachel and me, "The pictures that he took."

"Oh. So what? It's not like anyone pays attention to this thing," Brittany says getting up and walking to the fridge.

"Everyone pays attention to this shit Britt," I say watching her search for something normal.

"But it's stupid," she says looking away from the fridge and then back.

"We know it is Brittany, but the other imbeciles that we go to school with don't and Quinn is worried. Rightfully so, she's been through enough," Rachel says looking from Brittany all the way over to Quinn on her right. I can't see Rachel's face, but Quinn's smiling again. It isn't really a happy smile, it's like, a relieved smile.

We've been looking through this thing for a while now and nothing has popped up. If ass-face had posted the pictures or made one of his obnoxious videos, it would have been the first thing we saw. The first thing on here was a post about Dave Karofsky transferring schools and that was from like, yesterday.

"He hasn't posted anything yet," I say taking control of the abandoned track pad and moving back to the first page. I'll just refresh it for good measure. Yup just what I thought! The Karofsky news.

"Maybe he's waiting until tomorrow to post it?" Rachel says with excitement.

"I still don't know what you're so worried about, Q. You're awesome! You really shouldn't let what other people think about you get to you so much," Brittany says with the Reeses Puffs box in her hand. When did she go into the pantry?

"It isn't that easy, Britt," Quinn sighs.

"Yeah it is! People say I'm stupid all the time. I don't care. They don't matter. Besides, they all wish they had my fresh dance skills... except for Mike, he has his own... he doesn't call me stupid anyways," Brittany says shoving a hand full of peanut butter and chocolate puffs into her mouth.

"Well, looks like this crisis is averted-"

"For now," I interrupt Rachel.

Rachel rolls her eyes and backs out from between Q and me, "I should really go to bed. I have to get up for camp in the morning. You two are more than welcome to stay here tonight if you don't feel like driving home," she says looking between Britt and Q.

"Ooo! Sleepover! We haven't had one of those in forever!" Britt jumps up, dropping a few puffs on the floor, "oops."

I have to admit, that does sound like a good idea. And the last Unholy Trinity hang out sesh didn't go so bad. I'm probs going to fall asleep soon anyways. Long day.

"There's enough room for us all on the sectional," I offer up and Rachel smiles at me even though she's not going to be joining us. Oh, she's happy with what I just said because I agreed to the sleepover that involves Quinn. Right.

"Umm... have any good movies?" Quinn asks hesitantly.

"Well-"

"That aren't musicals," Quinn interrupts Rachel.

"The Berry's have quite the impressive collection," I say as I reach out for Rachel's hand. When I get ahold of it, I pull her into me, "I do get a goodnight kiss even though we aren't sleeping in the same room, right?"

"Of course you do," she says placing her hands on my cheeks then pulling me into a kiss, "I don't think I'd be able to sleep without one."

"Don't say 'ew,' Q. You think it's totally cute and can't wait to get your sweet lady kisses on," Brittany says pulling Quinn off the stool and leading her to the living room, "We'll pick out a movie while you get Quinn some pajamas. Goodnight, Rachel!"

"Night Brittany. Goodnight, Quinn."

"Night, Rachel," Quinn manages to say before Brittany can pull her out of the kitchen.

Rachel kisses my forehead and urges me to stand up. She leads me all the way to her bedroom where I do wish I was sleeping, but I guess _one_ night sleeping apart is okay. I wait on her bed while she changes into the basketball shorts and t-shirt that she stole from me a while ago and stay there until she crawls onto her side of the bed.

"I hope you have fun," she says as she gets under the blankets.

"I hope you sleep okay without my awesome body underneath you," I say with my most obnoxious, cockiest smile.

Looking over to her right, she says, "I think I'll be fine."

I turn to see what she's looking and see my body pillow sticking out of her closet. How did I _not_ notice that before? I chuckle a little and then get up to get it for her.

"Thanks, sweetheart," she says and then maneuvers the pillow under the blankets with her.

Idea! "You know, I think I'd sleep a lot better tonight if I had something of yours to snuggle with," I say knowing full well that the only thing that could possibly be is _her_ pillow.

She rolls her eyes at me, but still sits up and removes her pillow from its spot to give it to me.

"I love you," I say, taking the pillow from her and bending down to kiss her.

"I love you, too," she yawns out and then sleepily says, "Now get out of here. I needs to get my beauty sleep on."

"Oh you think you're funny!" She is. That was so cute.

"I am," she says as she closes her eyes and hugs my body pillow into her.

"Good night, gorgeous."

"Good night, San."

Have I mentioned how much I love her? Probably. I'll spare you.

Okay, p-jams for Q and then downstairs.

"So, did you guys like, talk about it when she came back," I hear Britt ask Quinn as I'm walking through the kitchen.

Oh good. Just in time for the part of the story I haven't heard.

"Umm... not really? I was pretty stressed out at that point. I'm sure she realized that I'm not really out," I see Quinn look down and shake her head, "Is that like, a deal breaker for some people?"

Hmmm... "Well, when Rach and I started going out, neither one of us were out," I say tossing Q the pajamas I brought for her.

"That's different. You could hide together and then you came out together... sort of. Okay, well, I guess you sort of let it out while you were raging away at Finn, but Rach didn't really seem to have problem with it," Brittany says in all her wisdom.

"And besides," Quinn adds, "Now that you're out, would you want to be with someone that was still in the closet? Wouldn't it kind of be like going back in?"

Quinn looks all kinds of worried right now. I'm not sure I want to answer her. It wouldn't be helpful. There's no way I'd date someone who was in the closet, especially not with what I'm going through with my mother. Of all people, I think I know how hard it is to come out... or to be dragged out somehow. While I'm all for helping Q out with all of this, I don't think I'd want to crawl back in the closet just to be with someone.

My opinion doesn't really matter though, because I can't speak for RJ.

I have a better idea than answering her question, "We're getting up early tomorrow."

"That's not the answer to my question."

"Shhh! She has a plan," Brittany says blindly hitting Quinn's arm.

"Tomorrow we accomplish two things: 1) we get those pictures from Jewfro and 2) we find out RJ's answer to that question," I say as I lie down, placing my head on and wrapping my arms around Rachel's pillow.

"How-"

"Don't ask questions."

"You should just try to sleep, Q," Brittany says and also lies down.

The last thing I see before I close my eyes is Quinn rolling her own.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: I just want to apologize for being so slow with my updates on this story. The next couple are going to be a lot quicker than the ones in the past have been. I know this one was kind of short, but for some reason I always have trouble with chapter 13 in all of my stories. Hope you enjoyed this! Let me know!**


	14. Ch Ch Ch Chia

Summer Vacation  
>Day... umm... hey, we're lucky I know it's July<p>

"Wow! You guys are up early!" Rachel says, watching Britt, Q and me folding up blankets, "I was entirely expecting to have to sneak through here to give Santana a kiss good bye."

"We have big plans for the day," I say while I shamelessly check Rachel out. She's wearing a tank top, leggings, and shorts that really accentuate her magnificent ass.. She looks hot, okay! I don't have to justify this! I'm checking out _my own_ girlfriend. "Do you always go to camp looking this... hot?"

"I always go to camp wearing clothes that I can dance in, if that's what you mean? You see me every morning before I leave," she says giving me a questioning eye quirk.

"It's early, I'm usually pretty groggy when you kiss me good bye..."

"Yeah, it _is_ early," Quinn says as if she didn't text me at 7AM yesterday.

"Okay, well, I have to get going. It really looks bad if the lead is late," she says to all of us and then gets on her tip toes to kiss me.

"See you later, babe."

"Bye, Rach," Britt says leaping towards Rachel and giving her a hug.

"Bye, Rachel. Umm... could you do me a favor?" Quinn asks looking at the floor.

"Yeah, of course, Quinn. What is it?" Rachel asks with her signature smile.

"Can you not talk to RJ about last night? I just... I'd really like to talk to her about it first."

She has no idea how much of a terrible request that was. I'm pretty sure that Rachel won't be able to _not_ talk to RJ about last night.

"Sure," Rachel answers, but I know now it's all she can think about doing. "Okay," she starts walking out of the room, "I really have to go now! Don't get into too much trouble!"

If we do, then my plan failed... my plans don't fail. We won't be getting into any trouble today.

"So, what's your plan?" Brittany asks, tossing a blanket onto the sectional, "Does it involve ski masks? I don't think I can handle that again, San."

"Nope, no ski masks. Spongebob Jewpants is going to know exactly who jacked him. I need to change though," I say walking towards the kitchen and waving Q and B on to follow me, "B, we can stop at your house on our way to the algae eater's house and since your entire closet is my room, we don't have to go to your house, Q."

"You don't have to watch Lily today?" Quinn asks Brittany probably trying to ruin my plan somehow.

"Nope. She's at sleep away camp for the next four weeks, so I'm free," Brittany says as we walk up the stairs.

I haven't showered since yesterday morning... I'm thinking I should really do that considering the events of last night. "Umm... I need to shower. I'll be quick if you want to shower, too Q. Well, I'll be quick anyways but, whatever, you get it."

"I'm good," she says as she goes through the mess of clothes all over my room.

Brittany is standing at the door to my room gaping at the mess, "You really did bring your entire closet here."

"You know I wouldn't lie to you Britt," I say walking towards the doorway with my clothes in hand.

"You have," she says getting out of my way.

"Withholding information and lying are two completely things," I shout down the hallway and then close the bathroom door behind me.

I'll be right back.

...

Oh good. I'm glad to hear that they're both having some fun. I can hear them giggling like little girls down the hall. Quinn probably needs it. It sounds like they're in Rachel's room though. I wonder what they're doing in there?

Oh, come on!

How is it that neither Rachel or I put that away?

The first thing that I see when I get to the door is a certain purple stick of silicone. The next thing I see is who it's attached to: Brittany. Right over her clothes.

There is such a conflict of feelings happening right now. I am A) mad, B) embarrassed, and C) not mad because it's hilarious and it's Brittany.

"So, this is what made you pass out?"

Well, now all that's left is embarrassed, "Seriously, Britt?"

"Oh my God, your face is priceless, right now," Quinn laughs out.

"This is ridiculous-"

"Uh uh, you two leaving it out is ridiculous," Quinn says as she pokes at it.

What the fuck is she doing? "It's just a dildo. And it's clean. Why are you poking at it like it's a dead animal?"

"And it's not like you don't know where it's been..." Brittany barely finishes saying before she falls onto Rachel's bed laughing.

I can't deal with this anymore, "We need to get out of here. Can I have the strap-on please?"

Brittany continues laughing but loosens the straps around her hips. She finally finishes up her fit and tosses the strap-on to me.

Oh god.

The box.

The level of embarrassment just reached absolute absurdity. The box was on the dresser near the strap on.

Honestly, if they didn't look in it, there's something wrong with them. Like, they're ill and they should be taken to the hospital.

I just don't want to hear about it. Maybe I can sneak this into the box and they won't say anything.

"The park, huh? Whose idea is that one?" Brittany giggles out from the bed.

Christ.

"That's definitely Rachel's idea," Quinn answers for me.

Ummm... what? "Wait, how did you know that?"

"Aside from the fact that it's in her handwriting, she likes being on stage, why wouldn't she be the exhibitionist type?"

"Because having sex in public is _a lot_ different than singing in front of hundreds of people," I say as I stuff the strap-on back in the box and close it back up.

This needs to go away, in the closet, in my room, where it belongs.

"Soooo, you don't want to do it...?" Brittany asks from a spot that is not the bed. If I wasn't set on getting this thing out of the room without them seeing where it goes, I'd be looking to find out where she is.

Actually, it would make sense to see where they are so the don't follow me...

Fuck.

"Give it back, Britt!"

"The raunchy ones are yours," Quinn says taking the box from Britt.

"Not all of them."

I have to get that box back!

Wait... we keep a dick in a box...

"Ummm... S... what are you...?" I think that's Quinn.

Through my horrendous fit of laughter all I can manage is "We... dick... box..."

"Uuuuhhhh- Oh my god!"

That was definitely Brittany.

We're dead. All of us.

It wasn't even that funny! Was it? I don't know, I thought of it.

Oh my god! We need to get out of here!

Shit!

"Jewfro!"

"Oh shit!"

"We need to go!" Quinn says sliding the box along the floor to me, "Put that thing away!"

"Okay! I'll meet you two downstairs. _Do not_ watch me put this away!"

"S, we don't care where you hide your dick... in a... box... oh this will never get old," Quinn laughs her way down the hall arm in arm with Britt. Whatever, they're gone.

And the shoe box is away.

Time to commence Operation Save Q's Ass.

I know, not the best title, but that's what this is. A rescue mission.

...

"So, what is your plan exactly," Quinn whispers as if we aren't in my car.

"Well, it looks like the only person home is Barnacle Boy," I say looking from his ugly ass car to the his even uglier house, "which is perfect. Let's go."

I open the door and step out. Brittany follows suit, but Quinn is of course hesitant. I will drag her ass out of the car. Actually, I am going to drag her ass out of the car.

"Let's go!" I yell after I fling the door open and then grab her wrist to pull her up.

"Okay! Okay!"

As we're rounding the car and walking up the driveway, Brittany gives us an update, "He still hasn't posted anything."

"Perfect," I say through my most devious smirk.

Knock knock.

"You aren't allowed to punch him," Quinn decides to remind me.

"As if I'd _ever_ resort to violence," I say with the most sarcasm I've ever used in my life.

"I'm seriou-"

Interrupted by the door!

"Please don't hurt me!" Jewfro squeals the instant he sees that it's the Unholy Trinity at his door.

This is going to be even easier than I thought, "Don't worry your fuzzy little head, Squeaks, you'll get to keep all of your fingers as long you do what we tell you."

"Can we come in?" Brittany asks in her bubbliest voice while stepping up closer to the door.

"Ummm..."

"Great," I say as I slither my way past the Chia Pet and into his heinous house.

Brittany follows because that's what she does, but Quinn hesitates at the door. Jewfro is too terrified to notice the look that I'm giving her. Aaaaand she's in.

"Okay, Richard Simmons, I'm gonna make this quick: hand over the pictures you took last night and I won't smash your computer... or your camera... or your face," clearly I'm bluffing. I'm not going to smash his face... that's actually quite painful for those of you who have never punched someone before. As much as I hate welching on promises, I also hate unnecessary pain.

"I don't have them anymore," he says through a pathetic quivering lip.

"Bull shit!" a suddenly awake Quinn grinds out, "Hand over the memory card in your camera dip shit or your senior year is going to be _the_ worst year of your already miserable life!"

This is the Quinn that I remember being friends with.

A-fucking-mazing.

"I-I-I-"

"Spit it out Ch-Ch-Ch-Chia," I'm on a roll right now.

"I don't have it anymore!" he blurts out and then instantly flinches.

"You're lying," Quinn says lowering her head but keeping her eyes on him.

"We don't tolerate liars," I say in the most intimidating tone I can manage... without laughing. Because this is hilarious.

"I'm not lying," he says in his obnoxious nasal voice.

"You better have a great story for us then," Quinn says in her quiet angry voice.

After practically eating his lip off of his own face, Happy Trees starts, "Before I could upload the pictures, this gigantic guy came here and convinced my Mom that I was his writing tutor. Parents are so dumb sometimes-"

"We really don't care that your mother is gullible. Get to the part that matters," Quinn says taking a step forward.

"She brought him up to my room and the exact second I was about to upload the best story of the summer onto my lap top he came in acting like we've known each other forever. He picked up my camera and said something about not knowing I was into photography. Then, when my Mom left, he popped out the memory card and put it in his pocket, telling me that I should spend my summer trying to grow a different face instead of ruining other people's lives. Then he left."

Who is this dude? And when can I meet him to tell him how awesome he is?

"I'm telling you the truth," he starts again with this gross dejected look on his face, "I would have posted everything by now if that con man hadn't stolen my memory card. Honestly, no one would believe me without the pictures."

"Well then, it looks like nothing has to be broken today," I say shrugging my shoulders and looking between Quinn and Brittany.

"I guess not," Quinn says, in the same joyous yet threatening spirit.

I see something in Brittany's eyes, though. I hadn't really expected her to participate in the intimidation very much, it's really not her style, but she's thinking about something now.

Whatever, she'll tell us when we leave.

"Looks like our work here is done ladies."

"Good, I have better things to do than look at scum," Quinn says turning around and walking towards the door.

"Bye, ass face," I say following Quinn, "Come on Britt."

Just as Quinn's hand touches the door knob, we hear a sound that is rarely heard: a pissed off Brittany S. Pierce. Very quietly and frighteningly calm, "If I find out that you've come anywhere near Quinn and her friend trying to get another picture, I will make you wish you were never born." Then in her usual bubbly tone, "Have a great summer vacation Jacob!"

And we're out of the of the house.

"Holy shit!"

"I am never going to piss you off. Did you see his face after that? B, that was terrifying!"

"Don't worry, Quinn, it takes a lot to get me that angry. No one messes with my best friends," Brittany says giving me a wink over the roof of my car.

Wait a second. We have a mystery hero, "Is anyone else wondering who this 'gigantic guy' was?"

"Oh shit," the worry from the night before has returned to Quinn and I think I understand why.

"Why, 'oh shit?'" Brittany asks clearly not understanding why.

"Now someone that we don't know has the pictures," I whisper to Brittany as I put my car into drive.

"Oh. Right."

"This is worse. Oh my god, this is actually worse," Quinn says sounding the most panicked she has ever sounded.

"I really don't see how this is worse, Quinn," Brittany says turning around to look at her in the back seat, "I mean, Jewfro told us that the guy said that he should try growing a new face instead of ruining people's lives this summer. He has to be on your side."

This is so weird. Who the fuck is this guy and how did he find out about those pictures?

"It's just bugging me, okay?" Quinn says while she chews away at her thumb nail, "It just doesn't make sense. The only people that knew about this were the three of us, Rachel and RJ. Rachel was with us last night and RJ isn't a 'big dude.' It's just... how is it that a guy none of us know found out about those pictures?"

I take my eyes off of the road for just a second to look at Brittany. This really is mind boggling. Wait a second, "There has to be an explanation for this. None of _us_ sent a giant to Chia Pet's house last night... hold up! Does RJ have a brother?"

"Uuuuummm... I don't know. We didn't really talk about our families," Quinn shrugs.

"Of course you didn't. Whatever. This has to be RJ's doing. Even if she doesn't have a brother, she goes to a different school than us, we wouldn't know many people that she knows." This makes perfect sense. Why didn't I think of this sooner?

"Well, why didn't she tell me she did something about this? I feel like this is something that you make known," Quinn huffs, crossing her arms and shaking her head.

"Maybe she is going to tell you," Brittany pipes in as I'm pulling into the Berry's driveway. Hey, the Dads are home!

Thank god! I haven't asked them about taking Rachel to the aquarium yet... I know, I know, way to procrastinate. I have no reason for waiting this long, it's not like they're going to say no. At least I'm pretty sure they won't say no...

"Ahh... the owners of the mystery vehicles that are parked outside of our house!" Leroy says as we walk into the house.

"Haven't we been here when they were here before?" I hear Brittany whisper to Quinn behind me.

"I was kidding, Brittany. I know that the Sentra is yours and the Beetle is Quinn's," Leroy says with a chuckle, "So, what have you ladies been up to today? It isn't even noon and you're all out and about."

I turn and give Quinn a quick glance just before we all start walking towards the living room. Really I'm hoping that she'll answer this question.

"We had to help Quinn get something back, but it turns out someone had already done it for her," Brittany answers plopping down on the sectional.

"Did you lose something?" Leroy asks from his usual spot on the right side of the sectional.

"It's more like she _found_ something," I say giving Q a little smirk, "and then someone else took pictures."

"I don't think I'm following anymore," Leroy says leaning back and crossing his legs.

"Has Rachel ever told you about Jacob Ben-Israel?" I ask.

"That little shit that wanted her underwear?" Leroy jumps forward, leaning his elbows onto his knees.

"The exact one," I answer.

"I hope he needs stitches," Leroy mumbles, probably because Hiram is in the kitchen and can hear everything that we're saying.

Well at least he thinks Hiram is in the kitchen.

"Now honey, you know we don't condone violence, even if the other person thoroughly deserves a black eye," Hiram says wrapping his arms Leroy's chest from behind the sectional. He plants a kiss on his man's bald head and adds, "or a few broken fingers... hell, maybe his whole hand."

"No violence occurred," I say.

"I told her she couldn't anyways!" Quinn adds from her spot on the sectional. She's been sitting with her knees bent and half of her face hiding behind them.

"What exactly did he take pictures of, Quinn?" Leroy asks with a concerned tone to his voice.

"Well... ummm..."

"Quinn! These are Rachel's gay dads!" Brittany says with a light smack to Q's shoulder.

Leroy and Hiram exchange eye quirks and then look back to Quinn even more concerned than before.

"He... ummm... he took pictures of this date that I went on last night..." Quinn says softly.

"Oooo! A date? Is he cute? I want to know everything!" Hiram says rounding the couch and sitting down next to Leroy. He's actually teenage girl.

"Umm... actually..."

"Gay dads, Q," I say giving her glare.

She rolls her eyes, takes a breath and says, "_She's_ really cute and she's sweet and funny and I think she sent someone to Chia Pet's house to get the pictures from him."

"So, she's kind of you're hero?" Hiram suggests with a 'that's so cute' face.

Quinn's too busy blushing and thinking about what Hiram just said for her to be able to say anything. So, I'll chime in, "We aren't exactly sure if that's so, but there really is no other option that we can think of."

"Sounds like you found a great girl, Quinn," Leroy says getting up from the sectional. He gives Hiram a little look that I'm sure he doesn't think any of us notice and Hiram gets up, too.

"Well, we'll leave you ladies to have you girl time and whatnot," Hiram says re-rounding the couch and following Leroy out of the living room into the kitchen.

Oh shit! I should ask them now.

"Leroy! Hiram! Wait a second!" I shout, jumping up and jogging into the kitchen.

"Yes, daughter number two?" Leroy says turning around with Hiram.

That's new coming out of Leroy's mouth.

"Ummm... I..." Am I nervous? That whole 'daughter number two' thing is really throwing me off.

"Santana?" Hiram pushes, looking over the rims of his glasses.

Spit it out! "Well... um... tomorrow's Rachel's birthday and... um... I kind of have this plan..."

"Which consists of... ?" Leroy purses his lips and crosses his arms.

"Kentucky..." is all I can think of to say for some reason.

"And what's in Kentucky?" Hiram asks in a much less intimidating tone than Leroy's.

"An aquarium," I gulp out.

"Oh, alright. Have fun!"

"And drive safe," Leroy adds.

A sigh of relief, a smile and, "Thanks."

They both smile back at me and then turn around to go upstairs. Hiram stops and turns back around, "You know, you didn't have to ask us if you could take Rachel on a date."

"I just... ummm... I just kind of thought it was the right thing to do," I shrug.

"It's chivalrous and romantic. It's exactly why Rachel likes you so much," Leroy says with a smile that I'm not used to seeing directed at me. He takes a few steps away from the stairs and towards me, "I know I give you hard time, but I'm just doing my job, you know, Dad. I do trust you," he looks towards Hiram and then back, "_we_ trust you."

I might cry. One of those good cries, though. Don't do it, Lopez! Don't do it! Just smile and say, "Thank you."

"Now don't go thinking that I'm going to lay off or anything. She'll always be my babygirl," Leroy makes _sure_ I know.

"I know."

"Good," Leroy says and turns around to go up the stairs.

Hiram rolls his eyes and shakes his head as he turns to follow Leroy up the stairs.

"I bet your friends are hungry," Leroy calls down, "you should probably make them something."

"We are hungry!" Quinn calls out from the living.

"For quesadillas!" Brittany adds in.

"With bacon!"

Don't they realize that they're in a house in which a vegan resides.

...

"Hm... that's weird," I hear a familiar voice say after I hear the door open and then close.

"What's weird?" I hear a not so familiar voice ask.

"It smells like... umm..." I wonder when Rachel last had _real_ bacon.

"Bacon?" the less familiar voice pin points the scent of the fatty strips of pig that I had to buy because Quinn and Brittany _had_ to have chicken, bacon, ranch quesadillas. Good thing we aren't Cheerios anymore, Coach Sylvester would be killing us in a months time.

Mmmm... I should probably start working out... those carbs aren't going to get rid of themselves... unfortunately.

Wait, who's this girl Rachel brought back to my house... her house?

"Boom! Perfect! You didn't even hit me, Lopez!" Quinn shouts as she jumps up off the sectional.

"Shh..."

"Wha-"

"You haven't had bacon in four years?"

Well, that answers that question.

"RJ," Quinn whispers through a smile that quickly runs away from the fear that takes over her face.

And that answers that question.

Wait, Rachel brought RJ here? Even though she didn't know if Quinn was still going to be here? I'm confused.

And Quinn is terrified.

And Brittany cannot even contain her excitement for what's about to happen.

Whatever that is.

"How did I know you three would be in here... playing this," Rachel says with her fists on her hips and then a gesture to the gigantic television screen. "I brought a friend," she says stepping out of the doorway and allowing RJ to step into the room.

"Hey," she says with a wave and then with a _really_ charming smile, she looks right to Quinn, "Hi, Quinn."

"Hey..." Quinn through her nervous smile.

Jumping off the couch and jogging around it, our tall blonde friend excitedly says, "I'm Brittany!"

RJ laughs and extends her hand, "It's nice to meet you."

HA! Like Britt's going to accept a handshake! I hope RJ's ready for a big Brittany hug. Aaaaaannndd... there it is!

Hmm... she handled that well.

Okay, we have a mystery on our hands and wants it solved now. I'ma get down to bui'ness, "So, to what do owe the pleasure of this visit, RJ?"

"Well, Rachel invited me over after I asked how Quinn was-"

"I didn't say anything!" Rachel jumps in when she gets a look from Quinn.

RJ smiles and saves her, "I kind of bugged her all day."

"I think that we should... um... talk," Quinn gulps out.

Oh, Q, them's breakin' up words. It was only one date.

"I think we should, too," RJ says through that smile she's so good at flashing.

Wait! I want to know about the big dude that ruined all my fun!

"Do you have a brother?" oh thank god Britt just blurted that out and not me. She always gets forgiven.

RJ's smile changes from charming to amused, to a laugh, "No, but I do have a best friend named James, who's a starting linebacker at my school."

"Did you sick him on Jewfro?" I can't stop myself from asking.

"Oh god," Quinn mumbles behind me.

RJ's laughter picks back up again and she says, "Actually, yeah, I did."

I turn a little to see Quinn's face. Look at that, RJ is her hero... heroine... whatever.

"How did you...?" Quinn trails off her question as she brings her thumb up to her mouth chew on her nail.

"Well," RJ starts, taking a step forward closer to Quinn, but with the sectional still between them, "after you left, I went back to my car and didn't leave. I waited for the unfortunate hairstyle to walk out and I followed him all the way to his house. On the way, I called James and had him meet me there."

"And you just assumed he'd be able to get in?" Quinn asks. She isn't skeptical, she's mesmerized.

So am I.

"James and I helped start the improv troupe at our school. He's so good, it's disgusting. I can't even believe how quickly he comes up with things. He didn't even have a plan to get into that house, but he did it. In like, five seconds," RJ says making her excitement over the situation quite clear.

"I think James is lucky that Jacob's mother is clearly intelligently challenged," Rachel says as nicely as she possibly can.

"No way, he's a genius. He hasn't had to do Latin homework in two years. He refuses to get me out of it, though" RJ says quite convincingly.

"You take Latin?" Quinn asks through weird dreamy eyes.

Only Quinn would be turned on by a girl who's learning a dead language.

"Yeah. I speak Italian, too. My grandparents taught me... well," she shrugs, "actually, they didn't teach me, so much as they refused to speak English with me until I was about eight."

Hmm... sounds like my childhood.

"Ooo! Santana speaks Spanish and takes French in school! She was supposed to teach me Spanish but she hasn't," Brittany says crossing her arms and shooting me her angry glare... that isn't really very angry at all.

"Didn't you two want to talk about something?" I remind _everyone_ in the room.

"Oh yeah," Quinn says through those freaky dreamy eyes.

"Would you maybe want to go somewhere?" RJ asks, acting slightly nervous for the first time.

"Umm... sure," Quinn says finally moving from her spot that is probably as far away as possible from RJ. I think she remembers that she's still a guest here at the Berry residence and starts looking between Rachel and me.

"You aren't a prisoner, Quinn, you can go," Rachel giggles out.

"Yeah, don't let us stop you from getting your mack on," I say through a smirk and watch as Quinn _and_ RJ's faces turn pink.

"I'm so glad we're friends," Quinn says, finding her sarcastic footing.

"I know."

"I think I'm going to go, too," Brittany says, standing up off the back of the couch, "my parents are going to be home from work soon, which means family dinner time."

"Jeez, too bad your dads are here, Rach, everyone's leaving," I say with a wink.

"That hasn't stopped us before," she gives back with her own little devious smirk.

"Okay, time to go," Quinn jumps, power walking around the sectional turning RJ around towards the door.

"Umm... I didn't drive here," RJ says quickly.

"That's fine... actually it's perfect," Quinn says smiling. Then, as they're making their way to the door, she slowly slips her hand into RJ's.

Just as that happens, I get an elbow from Rachel. Brittany turns around and gives me her beyond excited face.

"Thanks for giving in and bringing me here, Rachel," RJ says as Quinn opens the door.

"Anything for a friend," Rachel responds with her beautiful smile.

"Bye, guys," Quinn says and follows RJ out of the house. She turns around as she's walking out and mouths, "thank you."

And then they're gone.

"Well, I'm leaving, too. You haven't seen each other since this morning and I'm sure you want to make out or something, so, have a great night!" Brittany and hugs us both at the same time.

"Bye, Brittany."

"Text me!"

"Of course," Britt says rolling her eyes and turning towards the door. She stops just as she reaches, turns and says, "Happy Birthday, Rach! We should really do something for it this weekend."

"Umm... okay. Thanks Brittany." I think Rachel has been caught off guard. I don't want to start making assumptions as to why... it might get sad.

"Okay, see you guys!" Britt jumps a little and then walks out of the house.

"Can we really do something for my birthday this weekend?" Rachel asks grabbing my hands and looking down at them.

"Of course we can! I'll text everyone tonight, okay? Is there anyone that you don't want me to text?" I think you know who I might be talking about.

"Nope, you can text everyone... even Finn."

"Fine, but if he goes all T-Rex and tries to eat your face again, I will be going Lima Heights on his ass for realz."

She rolls her eyes and starts pulling me towards the living room, "Come on, I've been singing and dancing all day, I want to cuddle with my girlfriend... while she texts all of our friends about last minute birthday plans."

"Whatever you want gorgeous... especially in those shorts," I smirk as I plop down in the corner of the sectional, opening up my arms for her find her way into them.

After she's settled in with her arms around my waist and her head on my chest, I start typing G-L-E and open up the group that comes up. After making sure that everyone is there, I send them all this message:

**To Gleeks:  
><strong>To everyone that's still in Lima: Tomorrow's Rachel's birthday. Big birthday dinner at our favorite carb loading restaurant on Saturday. Be there!

**To Gleeks:  
><strong>Please :)

Rachel would be pissed if I didn't say please.

**From Goth Asian:  
><strong>Mike and I are teaching little Asian kids the Arts again. We'll send our Birthday wishes tomorrow.

**From Kurtrude:  
><strong>Blaine and I will be there with bells on... its ok if I bring him, right?

They might actually wear bells.

**To Kurtrude:  
><strong>Sure. The more the merrier.

**From Puckerman:  
><strong>I'll totes be there, bro!

**From Finnept:  
><strong>Umm... yeah, sure. Thx for inviting me.

Fantastic! Not.

**From Wheezy:  
><strong>I was wondering when this txt was coming. I'll be there.

**From Trouty Mouth:  
><strong>My Dad got a new job and we had to move. Tell Rachel I said Happy B-day, tho.

What? Trouty Mouth moved? What am I going to do with all of the mouth jokes I've been preparing?

**From Britt Britt:  
><strong>Duh.

**From Q:  
><strong>Can I bring my girlfriend?

WHAT?

"Rachel!"

"I wasn't seeping... sleeping."

Oh the adorableness... "Read."

"Oh. My. God."

"I think that's like, record speed. They've been gone for like, a half an hour."

"I don't think we're allowed to judge their dating process," Rachel says pursing her lips and quirking her eyebrows up.

"Touche," I say and leave a kiss on her head. Hmm... I wonder how prepared Quinn is to be with the rest of our frie... the Glee Club _and_ with her girlfriend in the same setting, "Do you think Quinn is ready to be all out with RJ in front of everyone?"

"Ask her?"

"Okay."

**To Q:  
><strong>I see we've made great strides in a very short amount of time. Ready to come out to everyone, too?

Hmm... that wasn't tactful...

**To Q:  
><strong>Congrats, btw. I'm really happy for you!

I am... really!

**From Q:  
><strong>Oh. Right. I just wanted to tell you that I have a girlfriend. I didn't really think past that... I'll get back to you...

Ahh... just what I thought.

**From Q:  
><strong>Thank you though... for everything.

In the words of my favorite person in the entire world:

**To Q:  
><strong>Anything for a friend.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Hey everyone! I hope you liked this one! Let me know! You know how much I love your comments!**

**A/N 2: To pezberrylove: She has. In Strange Exhilaration... perhaps it'll happen again though...**


	15. Crazy Love

Summer Vacation  
>Day 23, also known as Rachel's Birthday.<p>

Oh god! 6AM! What was I thinking? I was thinking that the girl sleeping on my shoulder deserves the best seventeenth birthday anyone has ever had! I was also thinking that it starts off with breakfast in bed and that we have an hour and half hour drive to Kentucky.

Now, how do I get off of this bed without waking her up? Where's that body pillow? I think I put it on floor next to me... Yes! Man, it's a good thing Rachel sleeps like a rock. I wake up if she just barely shifts something on top of me. Okay, so I'll just slide my leg out from under hers, then shift my hips over to the left, lift her arm off of me a little and slide the body pillow in.

I'm free!

Time to cook up all that meatless meat and the milk and eggless waffles I bought yesterday!

...

Okay, it's 6:30AM, Rachel is going to hate me... until she realizes what I'm doing, then she'll love me again.

Well, here goes nothing:

"Hey, Rach," I whisper while pushing on her shoulder.

Nothing.

"It's your birthday and I have things planned," I say a little louder and then kiss her cheek.

Still nothing. Ugh! She's impossible! I don't understand how she wakes up to get on the elliptical every morning!

You know, I was really trying to hold off on the birthday sex until tonight, but if she's going to be like this, I guess I'm going to have bust out some of my moves... seriously, I need to be hidden away in some cave somewhere so no one can hear me say these things.

I'll start with her neck, specifically that spot just behind her ear. Oh, she smells so good. Rachel-licious, if you will... find that cave to put me in yet?

How is this not waking her up? My lips hurt I'm sucking so hard on her skin right now. Okay, I'm not being nice anymore... Rachel's collar bone, meet my teeth.

"Mmm..."

Finally!

Wait a second... is her arm moving... underneath her... SHE'S TOUCHING HERSELF!

"Are you kidding me right now?"

"Oh... San..."

Oh that's fucked up.

"I was going to give you some AM birthday sex, but it seems like you're doing just fine on your own," I say as I get up from on top of Rachel and crawl off the bed.

I walk all the way over to the breakfast I put on the dresser and grab one of the things I brought up on the tray.

"But you're so much better than me!" I can hear the pout on her face.

I turn around and start shaking the can of vegan whipped cream in my hand, "Breakfast?"

"You made me breakfast?"

"Oh I was talking about _my_ breakfast, but if you really want this," I say stepping over to the right a little so that she can see the vegan waffles, sausage and bacon that I made for her.

"I definitely want that," she says with her eyes wide and her mouth practically watering. I laugh a little and grab the tray to bring it over to her. "Is that vegan whipped cream?" she asks through quasi-lusty eyes.

"It's for your waffles," I say and then tip the can upside down to spray a perfect swirl of whipped cream on them.

Of course it isn't _just_ for her waffles... but she doesn't need to know that now.

"Eat up, babe. You have a big day ahead of you," I say getting up from the bed.

"Is that why I'm awake before the sun is up?" she asks and then shoves a large piece of waffle into her mouth.

"It's out there," I say dipping my head down to look out her window. "I'm not going to rush you, but just be aware that we need to be out of here by eight. I'm going to go shower now."

"Where are we going?" she asks tearing into a slice of tofu bacon.

"Nice try. Be ready by eight, okay gorgeous?" I say with a wink and wait for her to argue with me.

"Fine."

Good, more time for us to get ready.

Let me just grab some clothes and... Mother fucker!

Quinn's shit is still in here!

...

"Hey, San! Have you seen my iPod? It isn't on the dock?" Rachel calls down from the top of the kitchen stairs.

"Ummm..." yes, I have, "No, babe, I haven't! Maybe you took it off so that the battery isn't murdered?"

"Despite your protests, I didn't take it off of the dock... at least I don't remember taking it off?" she says now at the bottom of the stairs.

"Why do you need it now? We're leaving... in two minutes. You're ready, right?" I ask grabbing the picnic basket cooler thing that the Berry dads got for opening a new checking account.

"Are you going to tell me where we're going?" Rachel asks with a pout.

"That pout isn't going to work today, Birthday girl. This is a surprise," I say through a smirk and grab her hand to lead her out of the house.

"I hate surprises," she mumbles through a scowl.

"I hate liars," I say just as we get to the door. I let go of her hand and open the door for her, "After you."

She flashes another scowl at me, but steps out of the house. I beat her to my car and open the door for her. "You aren't going to blindfold me are you?" she asks with a worried look on her face.

"As fun as that would be for me, I know you would hate all fifty-four-hundred seconds of it."

Yes, I just did that in my head.

"Oh thank god!" Rachel says and gets into the car.

I put the cooler in the back seat and round the back of the car to get into it.

"We're driving for an hour and a half?" Rachel asks me as sit down and put my key in the ignition.

I'm not answering that... she's good enough at math to know that she's right.

I turn the key and wait a few seconds for the radio to kick in... well, it isn't really a radio. I hear the first few notes of the unfamiliar song, "I found your iPod," I say through a smirk after I hear Rachel's gasp at the song playing.

She knows for a fact that the only song from _Wicked_ in my possession is the one we sang for Glee. So, when the first note of what I think is _No One Mourns the Wicked_ was heard, she knew this was her iPod in my car. The only significance this song holds is that it was the first one I came across that I knew she would know wasn't mine.

"Thief," she mumbles and then slides her hand into mine. She lifts my hand to her lips and kisses the back of it, bringing it and both of her hands down into her lap, "I love you."

"I love you," I say taking my eyes off the road for a second to look at her. I know, Leroy told me to drive safe. "Happy Birthday, beautiful."

"I'm with you, how could it be anything but happy?" she says and places another kiss on the back of my hand. I think we both know how cheesy that line was... and how perfect.

...

We are an hour into this drive and I'm really regretting bringing Rachel's iPod. It is showtune after showtune with the occasional pop song thrown in.

Oh thank god she's turning it down.

"Have you talked to Quinn since last night?"

"You're not allowed to worry on your birthday," I say slightly agitated that Quinn has found her way into Rachel's birthday date.

"I'm not worried, I was just wondering if she'd gotten back to you. That's all," I see her shrug through the corner of my eye.

"I haven't checked my phone since last night, so no, I haven't heard from Quinn," I say with my own shrug.

"Oh... well, when we get to where we're going can you check?" she asks turning in the seat to face me.

"Rach, today we aren't dealing with other people's problems. Today, we're celebrating the day that Rachel Barbara Berry was born because it's the best day of the year," I say and then turn the music back up from the steering wheel.

Wait a second! I know this song! But it isn't the original... I'm starting it from the beginning.

"Finally find a song you actually like?" Rachel says in the quiet of the song going back to its beginning.

"Who is this? And why do you have this song?" I ask through all my surprise.

"First of all: I actually love Nicki Minaj and second: this is Karmin... they're a YouTube sensation from Boston. They got Quest Love from the Roots band to play the drums on this!"

She is blowing my mind right now.

"I actually bought it because I thought it would be a great song for you and Brittany to do sometime. Mostly because it's pre-edited for Glee. I'm also quite positive that Brittany could pull off Nicki Minaj almost as well as Nicki Minaj does," she says quite matter-of- factly. She reaches forward and starts the song for a third time so that we can actually listen to it.

And so that she can rap along to every single word!

Even thewords that the radio edits out like "might sell coke" and "mother fuckin' trip trip" and "panties comin' off" are flowing out of her mouth.

"_**Can't you hear that  
><strong>__**Boom-ba-doom-boom-boom-ba-doom-boom-bass  
><strong>__**Got that super bass!  
><strong>__**Boom-ba-doom-boom-boom-ba-doom-boom-bass  
><strong>__**Got that super ba-**_

"Ummm... San?"

"Yes, beautiful?"

"Why did Kentucky just welcome us?"

I'm wondering how long she hasn't been paying attention to where we are? We were in Cincinnati for at least five minutes and then we went over a bridge... that goes over the Ohio River... which separates Ohio from Kentucky. She was really into that song. It's like she blindfolded herself.

"Because we're in Kentucky," I answer, because that's exactly why Kentucky just welcomed us.

"Very funny," Rachel deadpans and then turns her head to look out the window. "Where are we going?" she asks really quickly.

"You'll find out really soon, we're almost there," I say with my most charming smile.

"Ooo! Really? Where?" she asks excitedly, looking out of practically every window in the car.

"Can you wait like, five minutes?" She's making this un-fun.

"Yes. But only because it's you asking," she says and starts holding my hand.

"Thank you!" I sigh just as I see the parking garage that I have to park in.

Oh shit!

I need a distraction plan! There are going to be signs all over this place saying where we are! Why didn't I think of this before? Why didn't I bring a blindfold?

Because we'd look like freaks walking around like that, that's why.

Ummm... uhhh... fucking brain! Work!

"Hey babe, could you look in the cooler and grab me a water? I'm really thirsty," I think I put waters in there...

"Okaaay..." she says turning around to the back seat.

Now, hopefully I can find a parking space before she turns back around. Good thing she's short...

"An aquarium!"

Dammit!

...

"Oh my god! Penguins!" Rachel whispers excitedly and tugs on my arm right after the announcement saying that said aquatic birds would be making their appearance in five minutes. "Is that why we're here so early?" she whispers with the same excitement and looking at me with those big, beautiful, brown eyes.

"You don't think I'd wake up at 6:30 just for the hell of it, do you?" I ask, leaving a little kiss on her nose.

"I don't know, you woke up pretty early just because you thought you had to stop me from getting on the elliptical," she returns. Her little smirk shows up and she says, "if I didn't know any better, I'd say you would only wake up that early for one person."

"Well, it's a good thing you know better then, isn't it?" I say with a fake scowl because I know full well that I am whipped enough to wake up at dawn for this girl.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls: the moment you've all been waiting for..."

"Well, that's original-"

"Shhh!"

"Here to welcome you all to Newport Aquarium: Penguins on Parade!"

"Can you see, babe?"

"Yes! San, they're so cute! I love penguins!"

"I know you do," I say with a little laugh thinking about how adorable she is.

"I hope they don't keep them outside too long, it's really hot out," she says clearly remembering how much she cares about the well being of all living creatures.

"They know what they're doing. Besides, the penguins love this shit! Look at them. Penguins are like, the biggest hams of the Animal Kingdom," just as I'm done speaking, two moms near us do that slight glance over the shoulder thing. You know, the one you do at the movies when some little shit-head is kicking the back of your seat. Not gonna lie, it really makes me want to follow them around all day and use as many "bad words" as I can.

I'm sure some lezzie PDA would really annoy them, too.

Lucky for them, it's Rachel's birthday and we're doing whatever she wants.

After the penguins are ushered back into the aquarium, we follow the mass of people towards the entrance to get in. I say mass of people as if there are thousands here. It actually isn't that bad considering it's a Friday in the middle of summer vacation. I'm glad that I bought the tickets ahead of time though and I don't have to wait in the already obnoxiously long line.

I steer Rachel in the direction of the line for guests with tickets and after I pull the print outs out of my pocket, Rachel asks, "How long have you had this planned?"

That's a good question... hmmm... definitely since before the appendicitis incident... I'm gonna say, "about a month."

She's speechless as the guy at the head of the line scans the pieces of paper I'm holding out to him. Her mouth is slightly open and her eyes are slowly getting bigger and bigger.

"Enjoy your day, ladies," the guy says and I have to pull Rachel past because she has yet to snap out of her daze.

"Where to first Birthday Girl?"

"A month?"

"Yeah, Rach, it's not that big of a deal," I shrug, slowly leading her towards the Amazon.

"But that's a long time! And you put thought into this! Finn didn't even remember my birthday!"

"Okay, A) I'm a million times better than Finnept, duh and B) why did you even put up with that?" I genuinely want to know the answer to this question... and she's going to answer it amongst the snakes and piranha of the Amazonian rainforest.

"Well, A) You are _more_ than a million times better than Finn," she says lacing our fingers together, "And B)," she sighs a little and I suddenly sense confession time, "because he's an idiot."

"Ummm... you're going to have to elaborate on that one," I say looking away from the gigantic anaconda in front of us.

"Can we go to a different exhibit first? One that isn't so menacing?" she asks through a slightly terrified look. I think someone has seen _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ too many times.

Perhaps two of us have seen _Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone_ too many times...

"Sure. Here," I say producing a map, "look at this and pick somewhere."

"When did you grab this?" she asks as she unfolds.

"While you were entranced by the month that I spent planning this," I say giving her hip a little pinch.

She giggles a little and then her eyes light up, "Here!" she points to a section of the map.

"Okay."

...

"Okay, I take back my earlier sentiment, otters are the biggest hams of the animal kingdom," I say as we watch a particularly energetic sea otter swim back and forth in his tank, doing those flips that swimmers do when they turn around.

Rachel giggles and turns away from the glass. I follow her to a nearby bench and we sit down together.

"This is so great," she says softly, slipping her hand into mine.

"I'm glad you like it," I say back, giving her hand a little squeeze.

We sit in pleasant silence for a while and watch the people watching the hammy sea otters. Rachel's head lands lightly on my shoulder and she starts to speak, "Finn's too dumb to realize that he was a beard."

"What?"

No seriously. What? She went through all that shit just to land a beard? That can't be right.

"He wasn't really a beard until the end of last summer, but it's not like I broke up with him just because I figured something out. We were still together when school started," she shrugs, "I figured it would work. I would just keep saying no to his advances and give him the same reason, because he's too dumb to really question it."

Okay, while that makes some sort of Rachel sense, I'm still wondering, "So, if it was all fake, then why did you get so mad when you found out we'd had sex?"

She picks her head up from my shoulder and turns herself on the bench, "Now that has two reasons. I really was angry that he'd lied to me. I just don't understand why he couldn't have just said that he went through with it. Like he'd said a million times, 'we weren't dating' so why didn't he just tell me?"

"Because he's a douche bag."

"I know," she says rolling her eyes.

"We spend too much time together," I say giving her a little nudge.

"No such thing," she laughs.

She said there were two reasons right? I wasn't hearing things or anything?

"Umm... what's the second reason?"

She looks away from me and focuses straight ahead at the otter doing his swim, flip, push routine. I see her nibble on her lip a little and then see a slight smile underneath her teeth. Rachel shakes her head a little and then says, "You know, I'm pretty sure that the captain and quarterback of the football team can get pretty much anyone he wants in the school. Finn could have approached any girl and she would have said yes to him," she turns her head back to look at me, "but he chose you." She gives this little half-hearted smirk and then turns her head to look at the floor.

I don't even know what to say. She told me that she's liked me since middle school and I... I... my brain doesn't know what to do.

"Rach I'm so-"

"Don't apologize for something that has nothing to do with you," Rachel says stopping me from uttering the words that only slip out for a select few. "We've talked about this, you're mine now and that's what matters."

"I am all yours," I say and then lean in to kiss her. I don't remember that we're surrounded by people until I pull back and I hear some asshole clear his throat near us.

I hate people.

"Let's go to a different place," Rachel says getting up and tugging me with her, "I'm thinking the Arctic."

"You know, he was awful," I say as we follow the arrows to the arctic.

"It was his first time and you don't even like boys," she says defending him because her heart is too big.

"But I like sex and that was not good sex," I say a little too close to a family. After steering us a little away from said family I continue, "that first time thing isn't an excuse. You were amazing your first time... and your second and third... and fourth."

"Okay, okay! We're going to get kicked out because you have a dirty mind!"

I have a dirty mind! "Speak for yourself, Birthday Girl!"

"I will later," she says quietly and with a little smirk.

She has no idea.

...

I promised L and H that I'd have Rach home at a decent dinner hour. Since they get home from work later than your average not doctor parents, anywhere between seven and eight is safe. We got home at 7:30... perfect. Leroy made vegan chicken parmesan and it was unbelievable! I'd refused to use vegan cheese before, thinking that milk-less cheese would be horrendous, but now my vegan cookbook has busted wide open and I will be making so many new things for Rachel.

And now we're up in Rachel's room where the romantic birthday sexytimes are going to happen... after I give her that gift I got her.

"Ready for your present?" I ask leaning on the door frame of her room watching her go through her drawers.

"What?" she stops digging, "More? San, you've already done so much for me-"

"I'll be right back," I say and turn out of the room not letting her protest my romantic gestures.

I'm sure you're aware that Quinn's clothes are still all over my room. She needs to get this shit out of here tomorrow. The end.

I pull the little box wrapped in red paper out of my top drawer and laugh a little bit. I had to re-wrap it because I wanted to see it again. I know it isn't diamonds or anything... I don't know, I guess I just wanted to look at it a few more times. Don't judge me.

Now across the hall... nope! We need something else, too! To the kitchen!

"Happy birthday, gorgeous," I say presenting the little red box to Rachel but keeping my other surprise behind my back when I get to her door.

She turns around, looking at the box and walks towards the bed a little. As quickly as I can I put the can of whipped cream down on her dresser, hiding it behind a teddy bear. "You really shouldn't have done all this," she says through a pout as she turns around to speak to me.

"But I did. Open it," I say reaching out and grabbing her hips. My thumbs trace her hip bones and tuck themselves just under the waist of her shorts. She shakes her head a little and smiles at me. We both look down to the box and she starts opening it. "I'll take that," I say and grab the paper from her.

"Did you get me jewelry?" she asks in a kind of accusing tone. Underneath it is excitement though. I can hear it.

"Just keep going," I say rolling my eyes at her.

She huffs a little and then takes the top off of the box, revealing another box. Turning it over, she taps the velvet box out into her palm. Just like I took the paper, I take the outside box away from her, too. She looks at me one more time before popping open the black, velvet box. I watch as her eyes slowly light up and the corners of her lips start rising up towards her eyes, turning into that big beautiful smile that I love so much.

"Do you like it?" I ask even though I can tell that she does.

"I love it. It's perfect," she says taking her eyes off of it for a second to look at me. She pulls it out of the box and asks, "will you put it on me?"

I nod and take the necklace from her. She turns around and as I'm putting it on her I say, "I saw you looking at it a little while ago when we went to get Papá's watch cleaned," I finish with the clasp and say, "all set."

She turns around, darts her eyes around my face and then sighs.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing is wrong. Everything is right. You just... ugh... you render my brain useless. I can't even think!" she huffs and crosses her arms.

"So, now you're mad?" I question, tossing all of the things that I had taken from her on the floor. I place my hands on her hips and pull her into me.

She uncrosses her arms and drapes them over my shoulders, "I'm not mad, it's just that I always have something to say and you manage to stop that all the time."

"I always feel pretty successful when you get all speechless," I say with a shrug and cocky smirk.

"I love you so much," she whispers pressing our foreheads together.

"I love you, too," I whisper back.

Pulling her into me a little more, I slide my left hand around her lower back and trace my right hand up her waist, over her ribs and along her arm to her hand. I bring it down and start leading her in a music-less slow dance.

"What are you doing?" Rachel asks, her eyes already all lusty.

"Dancing with a beautiful girl."

"There isn't any music," she pouts, and changes the positioning of her hand so it's resting on my shoulder.

"We don't need music," I whisper and then lift her arm up for her to spin underneath it. I stop her half way through her spin and step up to her back, crossing her arms in front of her. I put both of our hands on her hips and start moving them to the song in my head. Letting go of her hands, I grab the hem of her shirt and tug it up. She lifts her arms and lets me pull her shirt off. I toss her shirt off towards her closet then guide her arms back down to the position they were in before I took it off and return to our music-less slow dance.

"What song are we dancing to?" Rachel asks as she lifts her head up for me to kiss her neck.

"You'll laugh at me," I say and place more soft kisses down her neck and her shoulders.

"No I won't," she breathes, "sing to me? Please?"

I almost wish I could say no to her.

I don't even know why I know this song. It's perfect though and she should hear it.

I kiss back up her neck, leaving a kiss just behind her ear before I start softly singing the song that's been in my head this whole time.

_**I can hear her heartbeat for a thousand miles  
><strong>__**And the Heavens open every time she smiles  
><strong>__**And when I come to her that's just where I belong  
><strong>__**Yet, I'm running to her like a river strong  
><strong>__**She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
><strong>__**She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love**_

I turn her around and lift her arms up to my shoulders then slide my hands down her torso to her hips. I hum the next verse because I'm not exactly sure what the words are... I just know how it goes. I think I need to shorten this anyways... I can't sing the words that I do know and kiss her... everywhere.

I know this next part!

_**Yes, I need her in the daytime  
><strong>__**Oh, but I need her in the night  
><strong>__**Yes, I want to throw my arms around her  
><strong>__**And kiss and hug, and kiss and hug her tight**_

She definitely liked that part. Her hands have moved from behind my head, down my body and into my shirt... this song should probably end soon...

_**She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love  
><strong>__**She gives me love, love, love, love, crazy love**_

A kiss on her neck.

_**Crazy love**_

A kiss on her jaw.

_**Crazy love**_

A kiss on her cheek.

_**Crazy love**_

Her lips.

Rachel hums out a moan that vibrates my lips, a sensation that makes its way throughout my body. I feel her tug at my shirt and soon enough, I'm lifting my arms for it to pass over my head and find the floor. Our lips find each other again and simultaneously our hands find the buttons to each other's shorts. Together, buttons are undone, zippers are unzipped and shorts are tugged down and shimmied to the floor. I can't help but smile into her lips. I think my smile causes Rachel to laugh a little bit. Our lips meet again and I can still feel her smile on my lips.

"You are so beautiful," I breathe out as I press our foreheads together.

"This has been the most perfect birthday," she whispers back as my fingertips find the clasp of her bra.

"It's about to get even better," I whisper through a smirk and slide her bra off of her shoulders, letting it fall to the floor between us.

"How do you know?"

"I just know," I say taking her hands and pulling her as I back up towards the bed.

"Well, you _are_ on a pretty good streak for the day," Rachel giggles out as we get to her bed.

"Wait a second! Get on the bed, there's something else," I say turning around and walking to the dresser. I turn around with the whipped cream in my hand and start shaking the can.

"You're right, it is getting better," Rachel says licking her lips.

I pop the cap off the can and crawl towards her on the bed. The first spray goes up her thigh. I lick it up slowly while my other hand slides up her other thigh. Next, I draw a heart around her belly button.

"Really? A heart? I think you're losing your edge," Rachel laughs out.

She's gonna pay, "Open," she opens her mouth with an inquisitive look and I reach up, spraying a large spiral onto her tongue, "now be quiet and enjoy this."

As Rachel tries her hardest not to laugh the whipped cream out of her mouth, I go back to the heart I drew and lick it off of her.

I spray some more a little higher up her body and she says, "I am enjoy... ing this." Her voice hitched as licked the whipped cream off of her nipple. I lick the last of it off of her other nipple, kiss her lips and then put the can down on the side table.

After staring into her gorgeous normally brown eyes for a little while, I bring our lips together once again. I nibble her lip a little as my fingertips find one of her nipples. Her moan vibrates my lips again and I can't control the reaction my body deems necessary. I swing my leg over hers, placing my knee in between her legs. Her kisses back have gotten hungrier and her tongue asks me for permission to play with mine. As her hands roam around my back, she meets with my bra and starts to unhook it.

"Mm mm," I hum and shake my head while our lips are still connected.

She pulls her head into the pillow beneath her head, breaking our kiss and says, "It's _my_ birthday."

"Fine," I say as I lower myself back down to kiss her again. Just as our lips are about to connect, I change directions and start trailing kisses down her neck instead. I keep kissing downwards even as she removes my bra. I let her pull off my underwear as well, even stopping my lips' exploration of her skin to kick them off. Before she can try anything, I tug on her underwear and get them off of her. After tossing her underwear somewhere on the floor, I settle in between her legs, keeping mine closed and the possibility of her gaining access pretty much impossible.

With my right hand propping me up, I lower myself down a little, placing my pelvis into Rachel's center. I grind my hips gently as I lightly drag my middle and ring fingers down in between her breasts, over her abs, around her hips and up her thighs to her knees. As I'm doing this, Rachel's impatience shines and she grinds herself into me. She does it hard enough that I feel it a little.

Mental note: Put scissoring into the box.

Okay, brain, shut up.

Be romantic!

I drag my fingers back up her thigh, placing my arm in between our bodies.

"Mhm," Rachel hums. Her eyes are closed and I can see that her breathing is already kind of abnormal.

The same two fingers that made the journey down her body, do some more work, parting her lips and sliding from her entrance to her clit. I watch her face contort slightly with every soft circle my two middle fingers make over the little sensitive bump.

One little lift of her hips is all I need to know that it's time to move my fingers down. I trace one more circle and then glide my fingers through her wetness, down to her entrance. Taking my time, I tease at a little bit, entering her only a little bit and switching between the two fingers.

She's been nibbling on her lip for a little while now, drawing a lot of attention to them. It makes me want to kiss her. There's really nothing stopping me. Slowly, I lower myself down and lightly kiss her lips. As I'm kissing her, I enter her completely with the same two fingers that have been doing all the work. The kiss continues as I slowly and gently move my fingers in and out of her.

Rachel's hands have found the back of my head and her legs have managed to wrap themselves around my back. I've barely changed the pace that my hand has been moving, but her moans into my lips keep getting louder and more frequent. I don't want to go any faster. Something about this pace is perfect. Instead, my goal is deeper. I find that spot feels just a little different than the rest of her with every slow thrust. Just for good measure, I bring my thumb to her clit but match it's rubbing with pace of rest of my hand.

"Oooh... mmm... Santana," Rachel moans out in a low tone. Then suddenly, her legs tighten around me and not even a second later what's surrounding my fingers, does the exact same. I continue the slow, deep thrusts into her until I feel her legs slide off of my back and hit the bed.

Just like everything else, I slowly pull my fingers out of her and because I just can't resist, I clean my fingers off my favorite way. When I'm satisfied that I've gotten all of her off of my hand, climb over her leg and lie down next to her.

"That was... different," she says through her still uneven breathing and looking up at the ceiling.

"A good different?" I ask hoping that it was. I felt it, too. It was different.

She turns her head to me and nods. I've never seen this facial expression before. I'm not even sure how to explain what it looks like. I just know that I love what I'm seeing.

"W-what did it feel like?" I stutter out, still taken by the look on Rachel's face. I wonder what my face looks like.

She takes a breath and the hint of a smile is added to the expression, "Complete. It was like you were supposed to be there," she closes her eyes and shakes away the expression that I loved so much, "Sorry, that must have sounded really weird."

"No!" I say, bringing my hand up to cup her cheek, "I liked it."

"Really?" she asks through a tiny hopeful smile. I nod slowly back at her and then lean forward to kiss her. When I pull back, she says, "that was the best birthday sex I have ever had."

I have to say it, "Babe, no offense, but that's the only birthday sex you've ever had."

"Hence, me giving it the title of 'the best,'" she says and does this half eye roll thing that is just too adorable. She sighs a little and then says, "thank you. Today was... absolutely perfect."

"You deserve it," I say as I absent-mindedly fiddle with her new necklace.

"I love you so much."

"I love you, too, Birthday Girl," I say back and kiss her lips.

"I cannot wait until November!" she says with a big Rachel smile.

"And why is that?" I ask.

"Because I'm going to give you the best birthday sex _you've_ ever had!"

* * *

><p><strong>AN: Okay, so I may or may not have been avoiding posting this chapter. I by that I mean that I was... avoiding posting this chapter. Why? You ask? Because I what I'm going to tell you all next is going to make you all really angry. As you may notice at the top of this page, it does not tell you that this story is complete. Well, this is because it is not. However, I will be taking a break from it for a while. I have a lot of ideas for this story, but for some reason I can't get them all to come together the way I want them to. Instead, I'm going to take some time and write another story. I promise that I will come back to this one. I would never, ever abandon this series. I like writing it too much. It's just gotten a little difficult lately. I hope that you aren't too mad at me. I still want to know what you think about this update because you know I love hearing from you all.**

**A/N 2: I've already started writing the other story if you were wondering. It's the sequel to _We Laugh Just a Little Too Loud_. It should be ready to be posted soon.**


	16. Who's Your Friend?

Summer Vacation  
>Day 24<p>

That was the best sleep I have ever had. It's probably because Rachel and I were kinda like rabbits last night. After the romantic birthday sexy times we did the romantic birthday cuddle times and then, like some switch just flipped, Rachel was on me. I don't know what happened. I mean, clearly I'm not complaining or anything, it was just a little crazy. And really good. Like, _really_ good. All four times.

So, needless to say, I was quite spent and sleep came really easily.

It's 9:30 in the morning and Rachel is still sleeping. I'm thinking seven orgasms is a little exhausting... we worked pretty hard last night.

She is so beautiful. No matter what she's doing, she's the most beautiful person I've ever seen. She's just sleeping and I can't take my eyes off of her.

"Stop staring at me," Rachel whispers with her eyes still closed.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lie as I continue to stare.

Her eyes pop open and she laughs the moment she catches my eye, "red handed."

I sigh and keep looking at her, "you're just so beautiful, I can't stop."

"Well, when you put it that way..." she shrugs, sleepily.

"Mhm," I hum as I brush a piece of hair off of her cheek.

"I know it's really out of character for me to do so, but I really want to go back to sleep-"

"So cut it out. Okay, I get it," I sigh and roll away to get out of bed. I'm not sleepy anymore.

"You're getting up?" Rachel pouts.

"I'm not tired. I would like to get dressed and get some coffee for the people that live in this house," I say as I make my out of the covers and off the bed.

"Oh," Rachel huffs, "I guess if you're getting me something it's okay that you're leaving me here all alone."

Oh my god, seriously? "I think you'll survive for an hour."

"If I must," she yawns and stretches, lifting out of the blanket enough so that her breasts are completely uncovered.

"Nice try," I laugh and exit the room with the clothes I had on yesterday. I hear her groan from across the hall and I can't help but laugh again.

Okay if Quinn's shit isn't out of here by the time we go to dinner tonight, I'm taking it to Breadstix and dumping it on her car.

**To Q:  
><strong>You have 11 hours to get your crap out of my room.

And just because:

**To Q:  
><strong>Love ya!

Now she can't get mad. How manipulative of me.

Somewhere in here is my stuff. I'll get back to when I find it.

* * *

><p>Mmmm... coffee smell. Why is it so good? Papá always tells me I'm too young to love coffee so much. It's one of those times when I'd like him to be less of doctor.<p>

Whatever, at least he's concerned. I bet my mother doesn't even know I drink coffee.

"Hey Santana!"

"Hi RJ," I greet my dear friend Quinn's new and first girlfriend, "oh hey, congrats! Quinn told me last night."

"Thanks," she sort of laughs out and looks back down to the counter. She has that dopey look on her face like she's so happy she doesn't know what to do with herself. Good. Quinn's awesome, she _should_ be happy. "Hey, how did Rachel's birthday surprises go? Quinn told me all about your plans. They sounded pretty kick ass."

"They were and it was perfect, thanks. Are you coming tonight...?" of course I didn't think about that until it was out of my mouth. I really hope Quinn said something about this and I haven't like, ruined everything.

"To Breadstix?" oh thank god, "not sure yet. Quinn's still kind of iffy about it."

"Oh."

How was I supposed to respond?

"It's cool. I get it. This is really new for her. I really like her and whatever she needs, I'm cool with it," she smiles and shrugs. Then she looks over a little to the left towards the seating area. I follow where her eyes went and guess who's there?

Quinn!

I know that wasn't very tough.

Hey that's really cool and sweet... ew. She's still getting the terrifying "if you hurt my friend, I hurt you" speech.

"Anyways," RJ comes back to Earth, "I kind of have to do my job and take your order. There's a line occurring behind you."

"Ah, right, coffee. Hmm... I would like an iced non-fat grande Caffé Mocha, no whip, an iced grande Caramel Macchiato, soy, no whip, umm..." Hiram, Hiram, Hiram what does H want? "oh! A venti Caffé Amaricano, soy, no sugar and..." oh shit. Tea or coffee for Rach? She's probably still sleeping, "a grande iced Cinnamon Dolce with soy, no whip and no sugar. Rachel and her dads are using that plant sugar... stuff."

"Stevia?" RJ asks all smart.

"Yeah sure," I answer and pass her my debit card.

She laughs as she swipes it and then hands it back, "Those'll be done in a minute."

"Thanks. Maybe I'll see you later?" I say through one of those squinty, unsure faces.

"Maybe," she shrugs.

I can't really talk to her more due to the line that's probably been building since I got to the counter. So, I grab the cardboard tray filled with coffee cups and make my way over to my second favorite blonde. She's diligently typing away on her lap top with her ear buds in. I'm just going to sit down at her table and see how long it takes her to notice that four coffees and my sweet ass have joined her.

30 seconds.

45 seconds.

A minute.

"Ohmygod!"

"Hi Q," I say with a beaming smile.

"How long have you been sitting there?" she says popping out her ear buds.

"A minute and forty-six seconds. A minute and twenty-three of which, you had no clue I was here. Whatcha working on?" I ask poking my head around to try and look at her screen.

"Nothing," she says quickly and closes her lap top before I can see anything.

Yeah... okay, "People don't try to hide nothing, Q."

She sighs and opens her computer back up, "I was making a list."

"Of...?"

She's going to say a pros and cons list. I know she is.

"A list of why I should and why I shouldn't take RJ tonight," she mumbles.

It's hilarious how right I was.

"Which side is winning?" I ask trying to peek again.

"They're pretty even," she sighs again and leans onto her palm.

"Well, maybe if you come by and grab your stuff later, Rach and I will try and help you out with this little dilemma you've got."

"You just want your room back," Quinn huffs, sitting back up straight.

"Well yeah, but I want to help you, too." Jeez how much of a selfish bitch do I come off as? "What makes you think that you don't want to help? Haven't I already proven to you that I care?"

"With a nudge from Rachel-"

"Why does that matter? I'm here right now, telling you that I want to help on my own free will. Rachel isn't here. She's in her bed, asleep. This is _me_ saying this to you," I say staring her down.

"Rachel's still asleep?"

Seriously? That's all she got out of that? Why do I even bother?

"I don't know, maybe. That's not important, Q! What's important is that you're coming to the Berry house and you're going to walk out with a decision made... and your clothes," I couldn't resist.

"Okay," she rolls her eyes, "is one alright?"

"One is great and perfectly within the eleven hour deadline that I gave you," I laugh out.

"Oh shut up and bring those home before the ice melts and the hot one turns cold," Quinn looks back down at her little spread which clearly tells me that I should get up and go.

"See you in a few hours, Q," I say as I get up, grab the tray and start to walk away.

"See you soon, S."

* * *

><p>I know that you were worried, so I'm going to inform you that Rachel was really excited about her coffee. She said it was perfect and she drank it like it was water. For the last hour she's been completely off the wall. I think she's done about twenty laps in the pool. I don't know, I lost count after seven. Okay, I stopped counting after that because it was exhausting just watching her.<p>

Hopefully she chills out a little bit before Quinn gets here. I'm thinking a caffine hyped Rachel is not what she needs.

"San, come in with me! Quinn's going to be here soon!"

"I'm spending quality time with the sun," I answer without moving.

"Come on!"

Splash.

Oh no.

Oh it's freezing! "Rachel! What the hell?"

"Pretty please," she pouts at the edge of the pool in front of me with her arms folded over the side.

"It's cold!"

"It's eighty degrees! That isn't even remotely close to being cold," she huffs.

"Oh fine! But don't you dare come and jump on me while I'm still freezing my tits off-"

"Can they even feel the cold still?"

"Quinn, you're early!" Rachel says, jumping out of the pool and clearly not realizing that she just insulted her girlfriend.

I turn around in the lounge chair and push my sunglasses down, "My skin still works, Mom of the Year."

"San," Rachel grinds.

"She started it," I mumble.

"Umm... your dads let me in. I've actually been here for like twenty minutes but they asked me about my new girlfriend," Quinn says as she bites the corner of her mouth.

So, Rachel and I may have it slip to her Dads that Quinn has a lady in her life... all I have to say is: Gay Dads.

"You aren't angry are you?" Rachel asks as she wraps a towel around her. Why is she covering herself up? I would really like to keep looking at that.

"Eh, of all the people you could have told, I'm thinking your gay dads are the least of my worries," Quinn shrugs and then makes her way down the stairs.

See. Told you.

"While they do love gossip, they aren't ones to spread sensitive details around our insensitive town," Rachel says as she motions for me to move over on the chair so that she can sit with me.

Quinn sits down on the lounge chair next to ours, facing us, slumped over a little bit.

She hasn't even come close to making a decision. She wouldn't be slumping if she had. This could take hours! Damn. It's a good thing she came early.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say not much progress has been made since we last spoke."

"Things are pretty much exactly where you left them," she sighs and decides that lying down, shrink style is the way to go, "I just don't know! Uuuuggghhhh! I _really_ like RJ. I just... ugh... I wish that I wasn't so afraid."

"If RJ _really_ likes you, she'll understand that," Rachel tries to help the extremely distraught Quinn.

"I know. And she said last night when we were talking that she didn't care that I wasn't out and that she'd do whatever I needed to make me feel comfortable, but I still feel bad. And what if she was just saying that-"

"Whoa, Q! Don't go accusing her of things you've made up. That isn't fair," I jump in knowing out of experience just how terrible that is, "she really does like you and she _is_ willing to let you do all this at your own pace."

"And how do you know all this, oh Wise One?" she snarks out at me from her patient position.

"She told me this morning when I accidentally asked if I was going to be seeing her tonight," I say confessing my slip, "I don't think she was BS-ing me either. She had that dopey 'I'm lovestruck' look on her face when I congratulated her on landing a hot piece of ass like you."

Luckily, Rachel isn't the jealous type, so comments like that are quite alright.

Ouch.

"Umm... ow, babe."

"That was degrading," she scowls.

"Seriously? I'm trying to boost our friend's confidence and you reprimand me for using 'degrading' terminology? I'm confused," I squint and shake my head at her.

"Rachel it's okay. I think in Santana's language, that was a big compliment," Quinn offers to help me out of the jam I accidentally got myself into.

"Anyways," Rachel decides to change the subject back to the subject, I'm sure, "I think you should run down your lists for us so that we can help make an unbiased decision as to whether or not you're ready to bring an 'unconventional' date to my birthday dinner."

Ummm... okay...

"Uh... yeah... sure..."

"Start with the cons," Rachel quasi-demands.

While ticking them off with her fingers, Quinn begins her list, "Finn. I'd have to explain who she is and I really don't want to hurt her feelings. For some reason everyone in Glee has great perception and would probably figure it out. Puck-"

"Puck's actually really cool about the lez thing-"

"You aren't the mother of his child," Quinn answers my retort quickly.

"Touché."

"Wait, did you say Finn first?" Rachel asks leaning in, clearly perplexed.

"Yeah. Remember how he reacted when he found out about you two? Of course you do. Why even ask? His head print is probably still in he risers," she says bringing her palms to her eyes.

"Finn's just a big stupid oaf and he'll get over it quickly," Rachel says out complete honesty and just a little dislike for him.

He did lose us Nationals.

"And you realize this is the Glee Club you'd be introducing her to," I chime in with my wisdom, "I know that we're all climbing all over each other to get solos and be the center of attention, but it really is the best support system we could ever ask for. For the most part, we don't judge each other, we're just a team that has one goal: be better than everyone else. We can't be better than everyone else if we don't help each other be our best."

Yeah! Look at me all philosophical!

And awesome!

"Who are you?"

"That was so sexy."

Do I really have to tell you who said what?

"I'm the same third of the Unholy Trinity as always and thanks beautiful," I say rubbing my nose lightly to Rachel's.

"Ew..." I instantly give Quinn a death glare, "... there was a bug."

"Damn right there was a bug, Fabray."

"You know, you're right. Of all the people in my life, the Glee kids have been the best. Maybe that's a good first step in this process," Quinn says sitting up. She looks a lot more like Quinn and a lot less slumpy, "I'm going to go get all of my clothes, bring them back to my house and then tell RJ that has to get ready to meet all of my... friends."

"I know it's hard to say, but it's true, Q. They're our friends," I say getting up with her. Maybe it isn't really that hard to say.

I guess I've been in love with who I'd considered popularity enemy number one for so long, that it isn't really that difficult to consider the rest of the Glee Club my friends. They're definitely more loyal than the Cheerios. Those bitches would do anything to see you fall. At least the Glee kids would try to catch you on your way down. Big difference.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Quinn agrees and begins her walk back into the house, "thanks for your help. All of it."

I grab Rachel's hand and smile at her when I answer, "de nada, mi amiga, de nada."

* * *

><p>And now, the moment we've all been waiting for: Rachel's Breadstix Birthday Extravaganza. Featuring most of the McKinley High New Directions, Blaine Anderson and a special guest appearance by RJ.<p>

I don't know RJ's last name. Oh well.

This should be interesting. Really I just hope that Quinn's coming out party doesn't outshine Rachel's birthday party. The reason we're all gathered here today in the first place.

Hmm... I'm not sure Quinn wants all eyes on her at all times, anyways so maybe things will work out right.

We'll see.

"Whaddup, Lezbro?"

"Hey, Puckerman. Where's your lady friend?" I ask my chubby chasing friend. I mean that with the utmost respect, of course.

"Wrestling camp," he answers after slamming the door to his truck, "hey Birthday Girl!" he greets Rachel when he sees her walk out from behind the taller part of my car.

"Hi Noah."

"Oh man! I bet you two had so much super hot birthday sex last night," he just had to go there.

"I will not be dignifying that with an answer, Noah," Rachel says confidently and turns around to walk towards the entrance to Breadstix.

I will though. Bros disclose this kind of info, right?

"So much and so amazing," I say quietly and then quickly make my way to Rachel.

"I knew it! Details, bro!"

"Bros don't give details!" I shout back knowing that bros _don't _give details. At least not real ones.

"I knew you were going to tell him," Rachel mumbles as we step inside.

"He's harmless," I shrug and then direct my attention to the host, "Hi. I called earlier to reserve a table for eleven."

"What's the name?" he asks and then looks up.

Instantly, fear washes over his face and before he can say anything I say, "Rachel."

He looks back down at his chart with the same look on his face and then squeaks out, "I'll take you right over to your table. Some of your party is already here."

It's probably Kurt and Blaine. I asked them to pick up a vegan cake and have Breadstix crew hide it. Breadstix may have vegan meatballs but they don't have vegan desserts. Perhaps a letter to headquarters is in order.

The host leads us to the table and I can already see that Kurt, Blaine, Mercedes _and _Finn are here already. Puck is right behind us which means we're only waiting for Britt and Wheels and Quinn and RJ.

I would bet all of my money that Quinn and RJ are here already. Quinn is probably mustering up all the courage she can to walk in here. That could take a while.

As we get to the table there's an instant round of "Happy Birthdays" thrown towards Rachel. I watch the blush grow on her cheeks as she thanks everyone and then starts pulling a chair in the middle of the table out.

"No way!" I say stopping her from pulling it out, "You have to sit up here," I walk over to the head of the table and pull out the chair for her.

"Yeah, Rachel. The Guest of Honor always sits at the head of the table," Blaine says backing me up.

"Well, if you insist," Rachel responds clearly trying to hide her excitement about being the center of attention.

I take the chair to Rachel's right, leaving two chairs between Wheezy and me. Puck sits on her left with Finn to his left, Kurt to Finn's left, Blaine to Kurt's left and three empty spaces at the end of the table. I thought Zizes was coming and I figured if I told them 11 they'd only give us eleven chairs. Artie doesn't really need one. I think this seating arrangement is going to work. Britt and Artie can take the end and Quinn and RJ can sit between me and Mercedes.

"Hey everyone!" I hear and then see my blonde bestie approaching with her boyfriend rolling in front of her.

"Happy Birthday, Rachel!" Artie chimes as they get a little closer.

"Thank you, Artie," Rachel smiles back.

"Ooo look, a predetermined wheel chair spot," he says strangely excited and wheels his way over to it.

"We usually have to move a chair," Brittany explains to our perplexed looks, "Happy Birthday, Rach! I'm so excited this is happening!" Brittany then proceeds to hug Rachel, kiss her cheek and skip over to the seat between Mercedes and Artie just like I figured she would.

Now we're just waiting for Quinn.

"Is this everyone?" a quiet until now, Finn asks.

"Um... no. We're still waiting for Quinn," Rachel answers.

"Why are there so many extra chairs? You know Sam moved, right?" Mercedes asks and then gets all sad.

Because they were totally dating! I knew it!

"Yeah, he told me-"

"And Mike and Tina are at that Asian camp again," Kurt adds.

"Yeah, I know. I thought that Zizes was going to be here with Puck..." shit. That only covers one extra seat.

"That leaves one more seat," sure, use now as your moment to shine at math Finnept.

In the meantime, my pocket is buzzing away. Who on Earth is calling me? Not a good time.

"Why do you all care so much about a damn empty chair?" Puck asks, breaking into the ridiculousness that's happening.

"Hey... everyone."

Instantly, an entire table of heads turn towards the familiar voice. There's Quinn, clearly scared shitless, standing next to her confident date.

I have to give RJ credit. This must be pretty nerve wracking for her, too, but it isn't showing.

Yet.

"Hi Quinn!" Rachel says breaking into the deafening silence that has fallen over the table.

"Hey Q!" I chime in hoping to continue the broken silence.

"Who's your friend?"

Kurt! Why? Why are you rushing this? You _know_ this girl isn't straight. And you _must _sense how terrified Quinn is! I can't believe he would ask that!

Quinn looks over to RJ, who gives her an encouraging smile. Then, Quinn opens her mouth, "Umm... everyone," she inhales heavily, "this is RJ... my..."

Now let's just put this on pause for a second. You need to know what all of these people look like right now: Rachel is giving her most encouraging smile (of course), Mercedes has her "shit's goin' down" face on, Brittany is absolutely beside herself with excitement, Artie blatantly has no idea what's going on, both Kurt and Blaine have the same "welcome to the family" grins they had when they caught Rachel and me holding hands walking out of this very establishment and I can't see Puck or Finn. I so wish I could. I want more than anything to see the look on Finn's face when he finds out another one of his exes is into chicks.

The anticipation must be killing everyone.

It's killing me.

Play.

"... my..." another deep breath, "... girlfriend."

It looked like it had taken that entire breath to get the word out, but she did it.

Another deafening silence has fallen over the table and this time it's broken by a voice that was only familiar to those who frequented the Lima Bean, so everyone. "Hey," RJ's voice breaks through accompanied by her charming smile and a little wave.

I think Finn is stuck.

My phone is ringing again. I'm ignoring it. This is way more important.

"You work at the Lima Bean," Blaine says pointing and squinting.

"Pretty much everyday," RJ says with her confidence and through her relentless smile.

"Come on guys, sit down," Rachel says getting up and pointing to the empty chairs between Wheezy and me.

"Yeah, make this a little less awkward," Mercedes laughs a little and pulls out the chair next to her.

As she makes her way to a seat, Quinn flashes Rachel and me a relieved smile and mouths, "thank you." RJ takes the seat next to me, probably thinking it's best she sit with someone she knows and as soon as Quinn sits down, Mercedes gives her a big hug and says, "I am so here for you, girl."

"So are we," Kurt adds from across the table.

"Yeah. Congrats, Quinn. I know how tough that was," Blaine says with a sweet smile.

"Thanks," Quinn says turning red and looking down at the table.

"Sweet! A second lezbro!" Puck pipes in from his corner of the table.

I'm actually a little surprised by that.

"Umm... actually, Puck-"

"She isn't _totally_ gay," Brittany says with all of her good intentions, "she's bi... sexual. She could totally wind up with a dude. No offense RJ, you're super cool and Quinn really likes you."

"Absolutely none taken," RJ laughs and then turns to Quinn.

"Thanks for clearing that up, Britt," Quinn says, looking beyond Mercedes to make eye contact with Brittany.

"No problem!"

"Hey, Finn," Artie starts, "are you okay?"

All eyes on Finn.

He looks like he's trying to divide 5897 by 72 in his head. His thinking looks painful.

Oh he looks like he's going to say something.

Stop ringing phone! Oh that was a text message.

"I can't believe how selfish you are," Finn finally says, looking at Quinn with that same painful thinking face, "and all of you guys are just letting it go!"

"Hey, bro, that's not cool-"

"You know what isn't cool, Puck? Quinn coming into Rachel's birthday dinner and announcing she's gay-"

"Actually, Finn, this was my idea," Rachel jumps in, interrupting Finn's unnecessary rage.

"What?"

"Yeah. Who better to start her coming out process than the Glee Club?" she shrugs and looks around the table, stopping at Quinn, "we're always here for each other. This shouldn't be any different."

"Oh... so, wait, this was planned? You already knew about this?" Finn asks as if that's not what Rachel just said.

"Yeah, Finn. We knew this was happening. We invited both of them to this," Rachel says slowly so that Finn can understand.

"Oh... oh... I'm sorry," he closes his eyes and shakes his head a little, probably trying to get some of the dumb out, "I guess this is just... uh... a lot of news," Finn says in his doofy 'please forgive me' voice.

"It's okay, Finn. You're right, it is a lot of news," Quinn says, "and it's just that: new. So, please, please don't go around talking about it. You all already know how rumors spread in this town."

"Don't worry."

"We won't say anything."

"Promise."

And some other things that I didn't entirely catch.

"Great. Now can we stop talking about it. It's Rachel's birthday and there are breadsticks on the table," Quinn says laughing and looks to RJ with a smile.

"Hell yeah there are!" I say, speaking up about something for the first time since all of this started, "I cannot sit here and stare at them anymore."

That being said and since the waiter is coming, I'll be back when the cake comes out.

* * *

><p>This dinner has been perfect. I can't even believe it. After the whole Finn debacle, it was like nothing had ever happened and we all just went about our merry way enjoying our carbs and company.<p>

RJ is hilarious and if anyone is going to be Puck's newest lezbro, it's her. She's made the entire table crack up a few times. I'm thinking that improv troupe that she and her friend started, is the funniest thing ever.

The best part about tonight: Rachel is so happy. Nearly all of her friends are in one place, getting along and celebrating her birthday. And they're all eating vegan cake. Things could not be better.

Well, they could be better if my phone stopped ringing. It's on vibrate but it's still annoying and I know it's ringing. I'm sure Rachel knows it's ringing, too.

Maybe I should at least check one of the texts.

Crap.

Twenty-seven missed calls.

Fifteen text messages.

Five voicemails.

All from one person.

**From Papá:**

Mija, I know you're with your friends, but I need you to call me.

"Um... Rach, I'll be right back," I say in a slight daze as I push my chair out to get up.

"Okay, sweetheart. Is everything okay?" she asks looking a little concerned.

"I'm sure everything's fine," I say and kiss her forehead before I head outside to call my dad.

As soon as I get outside, I press send and listen as the other line only rings once.

"¡Ay dios mio! ¡Mija! He estado tratando de ponernos en contacto contigo durante dos horas."

"Yo se, Papá, lo siento. ¿Qué pasa?"

"Necesito que venga al hospital," he says with complete calm in his voice. Just the opposite of how he greeted me.

"¿Ahora? We're almost done with dinner-"

"Now, Santana. I need you here now," he says and then clears his throat, "es tu madre."

"¿Qué?" I ask wondering why on earth he would think I'd go to the hospital for that reason.

"Just come now, please," he demands.

"Yeah, okay, Papá. I'll be there in like, twenty minutes," I sigh.

"I hope it's sooner."

"Well, I have to get off of the phone so that I can say bye to everyone real quick. I'll see you in twenty."

Jeez. I'm not going to kill myself trying to get there immediately.

"Okay, Mija. Te amo," okay that sounded kind of shaky. Maybe I should hurry a little.

"I love you, too, Papá."

"Estas segura, por favor," still shaky. Oh shit.

"Okay, Papá. I have to go. Adios."

"Adios, Mija."

Something is wrong. Like, really wrong.

Don't let anyone know. Especially not Rachel. Just leave money. More than enough to cover you and Rachel. Make sure she has a way home. Then go.

Big smile.

"There's my beautiful girlfriend," Rachel says with a smile matching mine.

"Hey, I'm really sorry, but that was my Dad. He needs me to come the hospital for something. I'm sooo sorry, Rach," I say way over apologizing.

"That's okay. Do you need me to go with you?"

"No. No it's cool. I shouldn't be long, but not short enough that I'll be able to bring you home-"

"We can give Rachel a ride," RJ offers.

There's one thing off my list.

"Thanks and umm..." I pull out $75 from my pocket and put it on the table, "this should cover Rach and me. I'm so sorry guys, tonight was perfect, though. I actually think we should do this more often."

"Totally!" Brittany beams.

"Holla!" Artie is a fool.

"Is everything okay?" Kurt asks delaying my exit further.

"Yeah, I think so. I'm actually not sure what my Dad wants, but I really have to go," I turn a little and stop in front of Rachel again, "you had a good time tonight, right?"

"I had a great time," she smiles and grabs my hands.

"I'm so glad. Babe, I'm sorry I have to go," I whisper.

"It's okay! You're keeping your Dad waiting. Go on," she laughs a little and nods towards the door.

"You're so great. I love you," I whisper again and kiss her. The instant our lips touch my heart starts to race and I wish I didn't have to go.

"I love you, too," she says breathlessly when I take my lips back from hers, "now get out of here."

"Okay," I sigh, "Bye everyone!"

I hear a bunch of "byes" and "see yas" as I back away from Rachel. When I turn around and start really heading for the door, I get that slow motion feeling I felt when I was walking towards the conference room in the hospital. I suddenly feel like I'm heading towards something even worse than that.

Before I walk out of the door, I look back to the table and catch a glimpse of Rachel's beautiful, smiling face. Whatever is ahead of me, I know that once it's over, I get to come back to that. That's what gets me out the door, into my car and to the hospital, where who knows what's happened.

Well, I'll find out soon.

* * *

><p><strong>He estado tratando de ponernos en contacto contigo durante dos horas.<br>**I have been trying to get ahold of you the last two hours.

**Yo se, Papá, lo siento. ¿Qué pasa?  
><strong>I know, Papá, I'm sorry. What's up?

**Necesito que venga al hospital  
><strong>I need you to come to the hospital

**¿Ahora?  
><strong>Now?

**es tu madre  
><strong>it's your mother

**¿Qué?  
><strong>What?

**Estas segura, por favor  
><strong>Be safe, please

* * *

><p><strong>AN: If you didn't notice, this story is complete. Yes, I took a break with only one chapter left. At the time I didn't know I only had one chapter left to write. However, I've got one more part up my sleeve. As soon as my Quinntana fic is done, the last part to this series will be under way.**

**A/N 2: I'm not sorry for the cliffhanger. I'm never sorry for cliffhangers. :D**


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